Shot Glass Thought: Subway Should Give up on Public Relations

Subway, just give up. Stop running commercials, contact a professional who specializes in shutting down a company and let him/her go to work. Your entire brand was built around the weight loss of a disgusting pedophile. Nobody thinks of you as having fresh or healthy food. We just think of you as a giant company that paid a guy outrageous amounts of money and him spending that money on child pornography. Maybe you had no clue he was that way, that's fine. We get it. But it doesn't change the fact that every time we see your stupid fucking commercials, we think "Oh, that's the fat pedophile sandwich company." A pedophile sandwich is the only thing that cannibals will say no to. Besides the fact that we think of you as a giant pedophile sandwich, we are sick of the fucking smell that your restaurant has. Staying in a Subway long enough to get your order is going to make you smell like a spicy jalapeno belch. Doesn't matter if you order peppers or not. You're not healthy either. You serve an entire loaf of bread with every meal. Subway and BK are competing to serve the most mayo each year. And mayo, is not a fucking health food. Neither is BK and neither is Subway. So in short, fuck Subway and your stupid business. Just go away.