The Answers: What are Hemorrhoids?

Hemorrhoids are swollen veins in and around the inside or outside of your asshole. They hurt, itch and sometimes bleed. I got mine from heavy lifting and working hard. This is the punishment that life bestows upon you for working hard. Hemorrhoids can also form when you get fucked in the ass. Which is really just another way of describing hard work. You also can't strain during bowel movements or they might form. But sometimes you have to do that anyway, so you're fucked. Fucked in the ass. It's also not great to sit for long times on the toilet. So if you decide to be a genius and have an extra break at work by sitting on the toilet pretending to take a shit, you'll also be risking the rhoids. So even when you try to take a break from working your ass off by pretending to dump ass, you'll end up wrecking your ass. This is the post that proves that all along I've been a philosopher and not really a comedian at all.