Here's how I, famous and fabulously rich comedy genius, Austin, cut my own hair. I take the clipper that I use on my beard and ball beard and I put a limiter on it so that I can trim the hair on my head. When I have to move to the back of my head, I take my phone out and turn it's selfie camera on and then point it at the mirror. I turn my back and then trim the back of my head and neck while looking at my phone screen. This is a most advanced technique and not something that everyone should try. The hair will fall onto the floor. So it's best to have a broom and dustpan if you have hardwood floors and a vacuum if your shit is carpet.
The technique I have thus outlined is a technique for men and very butch women. If you want to cut your hair as a woman and you don't want to look like a professional female boxer, then you'll first want to develop some very serious emotional traumas pertaining to your father. Next, you're going to want to turn to sex, drugs and attention seeking in order to fill that void. When you realize your life is firmly off the rails, go ahead and publicly decry the system that has made you into a sniveling, miserable little shit. Then, in a fit of madness start hacking your hair out with scissors and chef knives. Eventually, when you half way come to your senses you'll just do what I outlined in the first paragraph of this post.
There you have it! Two perfect ways to get one thing done. One for man and one for woman. The content on this blog is just getting better and better. Almost brings a tear to my eye.
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