Comedy Apprentice Store

Have you ever had someone promise to solve all of your problems in one swoop? To promise to do something so impossible would surely be a scam right? No, because I'm doing it right now! When I massage and twist my beard in the oils of a thousand discarded paint brushes I am able to tap into the psychic super brain of the Earth. While I'm in there, I can see what everybody wants in their life. The first time I dove in there I came back out with the foundations of Comedy Apprentice. This most recent time I've returned with the idea of... THE COMEDY APPRENTICE STORE!!!

Click here to go to the store now!  
(PS: My favorite thing is the snapback hat ;)

Wal-Mart will never be able to solve all your problems or make your dreams come true. That is unless you dream of sharing an isle with a meth head nervously biting into an unpaid for sleeve of Oreo's while hissing to herself about government agents. There are tons of other online stores but they don't all have content filled blogs that properly outline the every thought of a deranged bald headed bearded man hailing from the middle of nowhere. I'm what happens when a crazy mountain man finally gets the internet in his cabin and he just starts spilling his thoughts to the world in a "brave" attempt to make the internet a little bigger.

Now maybe I should come clean about this whole solve all your problems with my store stuff, but I won't . The psychic super brain of the universe doesn't let you. It's like when you go deep sea diving and you accidentally see Cthulhu's dick. You want to look away, you need to look away but you just sit there wondering about your place in the universe while your mind slowly fries. Arguably, the same thing happens when you operate a deep fryer and wash dishes for a living. That was a different and very hard time. Respect to all those folks that are doing that now, hope you find something better.

In the format that I like to follow, now would be a great time for some exaggeration. But I've already gone there so let's not overdo it. If this were a video, here is where I would balance out the tone of the experience by lighting some incense and doing some oms with the audience. Is that the right oms? My brain is malfunctioning and I couldn't find something to make me think otherwise about oms when I was looking online. If only there were a hippie in my family that I could text about this. But I'm an old southern honky with a southern honky family.

I'm super proud of this store and the products therein. How's that for a transition eh? Just when you thought I was going to go off on a tangent about my family, I jumped back to the store. The point is not that I love my family, which I do, but that I've had a hand in making everything that you'll see in the Comedy Apprentice Store. The design ideas, some of the execution of the designs and all of the jokes of course come from yours truly. My plan is to make this operation big enough that I can employ comedy writers and funny bloggers and what not. Because I love business and dealing with people every minute of my day I guess.

I'll let you know when we get to the point where I'm not the only writer anymore. Just like me and the site as a whole, and everything that is living for that matter, the store is not fully realized yet. There is a lot of work to be done on it so that I can offer more selection, designs and blah blah blah. You already know how stores and small businesses work. I'm going to be consistently producing new designs, making cool stuff out of short jokes and doing everything I can to provide a high quality product, with my name and brand plastered all over it. This is the American way as told to you by a mind thoroughly being directed by the Psychic Super Brain of the Universe. It just told me that that I should have been capitalizing the name throughout the page but it'll let it slide this time.

Check out the store and tell me what's missing. What would you like to see and if you've got a design that you'd like to submit then use the contact form on the top right of this web page. We can iron the details out from there. Send me art of your favorite bit that I've done on the site or some original material that you've come up with, whatever suits your fancy. If you're not into that, then leave a comment telling me how I can improve the store, the site and my big bald head. Thanks for reading and as always, I'll see you on the next one. Cheers!