1. A dire need has arisen in rural North Carolina to reduce the deer population due to overpopulation and the infuriating tendency to dodge bullets at the last moment when you think you've got them. This statement comes from expert local hunter Brian Lavender who has been a devout supporter of deer population control after unsuccessful hunting trips.
2. Trade deal proposals have been faltering between the US and China. Many experts believe that the deals aren't actually making it to China as the Wi-fi has been speculated to be down in the trade deal office. Trade deal official Kenny Birkin will update us once Rick, the tech guy has had a chance to look at the router and possibly reset it.
3. "Today is the day we make peace!" This from the minister of war in the country of Botsnovia. "The war with Ti-Liangula in the east has gone on long enough." Experts believe that this great change of heart has come from the minister's recent discovery of his astrological sign. His reading for today was "be the sunshine that you want to bathe in."
4. Stephen Gaghan, the director of the new Dolittle is on the receiving end of some speculation that he might be a secret double agent working for a rival movie making company. This after he created the new Dr. Dolittle, a movie so bad that it "may destroy our entire company." This quote comes from the CEO of Universal Pictures, Ronald Meyer.
No comments:
Post a Comment