1. Yesterday at a poetry slam in downtown Asheville, sentient words come to life and crushed a man, finally disproving that old bit about sticks and stones. One witness claimed that the man's soul could be seen "Falling, falling and drop...run run running away. Frolicking, a time to play."
2. With the world set to explode into yet another world war, some insiders believe the best political and military minds might be sharing their expertise unintentionally by arguing in the comment sections of their Facebook statuses.
3. Nearly 400 pounds of Marijuana was found abandoned near a small farming town in the Colorado. The only tragedies here are that nobody will get to smoke it and that somebody had to weigh it.
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