1. Scientologists are desperately searching for meaning in a belief system penned by a fiction author.
2. Elon Musk will soon become the smartest man in the world as he has decided to pay himself 55 billion dollars.
3. Researchers at the Institute of Self-Imposed Boredom were able to conclude from their studies of tourist behavior at trinket shops that people will indeed, stand in line for anything.
4. "Psychedelics can improve mental health." This from my unemployed neighbor, aged 35 who finger paints.
5. Singer Lizzo was turning heads on the red carpet recently. She wore a tight, black leather dress that proved once and for all that dressing like a chode in a small black condom can make the news.
6. Fat burning yoga routines have succeeded in making many women look like really flexible cows.
7. Being stressed at work has been voted the number 1 way to remember that you are at work.
8. "Perfect meditation requires a perfect meditation space." Says the lead researcher at the Institute of Sitting on Your Ass.
9. Out of touch baby boomer blames loss of finger tips.
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