Jokes: 5 One(or more) Liners to Make Babies Stop Crying in your Restaurant

This is actually 6 jokes because babies will never stop crying in your restaurant. We'll always wonder why in the fuck do families with babies bring them to the restaurant?

1.Paying attention is overrated. If I paid attention to every person that told me something I would be out of quarters. (Corny I know.)

2.Rumors about the white house claim that Donald Trump and actual Neo Nazi's aren't getting along. Neo Nazi's by and large wanna rule the world under the tyranny of a 4th Reich where only white people are left living. Trump states he is willing to grab any pussy, regardless of who it may belong to.

3. I don't ever need an excuse to quit if what I'm doing ...is sex. That would be because I am currently...never having sex.

4. New scientific testing has shown that high levels of THC in the blood might cause psychosis. In other news, Hilary Clinton sacrificed 3 new born babies to a wooden goat god so that she may add 3 extra years to the end of her life. One more new born and she'll be able to make yet another fruitless run at the presidency.

5. In a poll taken recently on Facebook, 88% of people would advocate the consumption of actual toxins by the people who all to frequently describe others, as toxic. The other 12%, "like totally didn't get it."


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