Wilderness survival skills are the extra credit of life that isn't actually optional like the teacher might lead you to believe. If you're stuck out in the wild, can you think of anything more useful than being able to survive? I'd say that being able to survive would be the number one most important skill out there. So you never learned how to be an accountant like your dad wanted. No biggie, you'll never have to pay taxes if you just live in the woods of a national forest. Nobody is going to want to go to the trouble of coming after you either. Think you're gonna miss having a hot water heater and a shower? Not likely after you start hunting with your custom made bow you fashioned out of dear antlers. Is there anything more bad ass than hunting with the parts you took from a prior hunt? That would be like when the great grizzly bear lord of the woods kills me then starts using my bones as projectile weapons. Maybe he'd fashion pimp cane out of my legs.
Only problem is, why are wilderness survival skills so hard to learn? It took me probably four hours to be able to start a fire using a Swedish fire steel tool. It's one of those things were you scrape a hard thing against another hard thing and sparks shoot out. The box said it was good for like 38,000 swipes or something like that. That first session with the tool probably used about half of those swipes. Reminds me of when I was a kid at the store. I was checking out Italian for Dummies thinking how cool it would be to be able to order pizza in another language. I put it down after a while and bought colored pencils instead. A lot less time investment is required of you to start scribbling on a page. Actually, I wasn't a kid, this was last weekend.
I probably won't ever get into wilderness survival skills enough for them to save my life. I'm really not sure that I would want to keep living in the circumstances where I would need wilderness survival skills. Has the world ended? Did the four horseman of the apocalypse show up with the anti-christ and start a metal band? That's the depth of my understanding when it comes to Revelation. My survive the apocalypse plan will be ear muffs and a cave in the woods. Preferably not one that includes a family of bears. If there are bears in the cave and they are not friendly, I still do not mind becoming the pimp cane of a bear. I hold firm to that stance.
A part of me wants to learn enough about surviving in the woods that I can just be dropped in the wilderness and just start drinking my own pee and eating bugs and make it out of there like it was a vacation in the Bahamas. If I ever decide to totally give up on life, instead of killing myself I'll just go live in the woods. Shoot small game with my arrows that I learn how to carve at some point. Live in a hut covered with moss and wear dear skin as my clothes. Speaking of giving up on life, I once spilled some milk onto my art appreciation text book and I wondered for a few seconds if I should just pour the rest of the gallon milk jug on the book. Why did I have that thought? I don't know, I guess I'm a jackass.
I feel fear when I think about survival in the wilderness. Mostly because I could memorize all the information in the books on the subject, but then not be able to execute the skills when I need them. Then I would feel great disappointment that I wasted all that fucking time learning the skills. In the same way that you do not create an Ebay account just to buy one used dart board, I do not want to invest my time and money in survival skills that I will never get to use, or can't execute.
So will I give survival training a try? Yes. Will I half ass it? Not likely as it puts the fear of death in me. Will my devotion to the craft do me any good in an actual survival situation? Almost certainly not.
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Pouring an excess amount of milk on anything is blasphemous to some house holds. I would like to watch someone accidentally spill milk on something/someone, glance at it, and then pour it all on them. Hahaha
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