I am that jackass who loves the sound of his own voice so much that he sings at work and no I am not sorry. I think that I got so good at it because I once signed up for singing lessons but when I went to the venue all they had me do was chant spells. They said it was a warm up exercise but a group of priests barged in and started throwing holy water everywhere so I dipped out.
First of all, everyone knows that they want to hear me sing. I sing like Michael Phelps swims. My vibrato is as epic as Tiger Wood's putting and infidelity records. His infidelity is way more interesting and inspiring to me than any of his other accomplishments. I mean anyone can gold, but what is life like when your batting average is apparently 100%? I mean it must be pretty good.
Everyone loves beautiful music, and that is what effortlessly springs forward from my soul. If I were a chick singing the way that I do at work, then there would be some creep in the kitchen who would memorize every possible route in town to my apartment after having one conversation. A conversation where he would mostly be looking at my tits. Because if I were a chick I'd be a bad bitch dude.
Work can sometimes have terrible music playing, I can cure that by singing louder than what is playing. I'm always having to raise my voice in order to talk over the voices in my head, so why not extend that ability to my work companions?
My voice brings me closer to all the people that I work with, and everyone wants to be around me, so it's for the best that I sing. Without me, morale could dip dangerously low. When you hear me sing it's like that moment when you finally find the Facebook profile of the girl you bumped into while getting coffee. You spent the next 4 hours refreshing her page every 10 seconds and you don't regret a second of it because she's that amazing. That's my voice in a nutshell.
Tell you truth, I would stop singing at work if someone asked me to, but they never have and likely never will. Because it's fucking flawless and everybody except haters and the deaf can hear that.
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