Short Funny Stories: Illegitimate Business is Not Worth the Cost

I know a guy that easy fast money ruined and so do you. It is the easiest thing in the world to get destroyed by. The reason? Easy fast money is never legal, but it's always awesome. People with easy money are not people that you can trust. If you know an exception fighter jet pilot, one that does stunts and stuff. That pilot does not pick his/her nose. Picking your nose while piloting a jet is like having no job but plenty of easy money. It just doesn't add up and you definitely should not trust it.

I fucking hate easy money. I want to trade actual skills for actual money. I don't want to cheat anyone, I don't want to be rewarded something that I don't deserve and I don't want any gifts. Nothing for free and no easy money. All my money is earned by trading skills for cash. I respect a prostitute more than a drug dealer because the prostitute has to be somewhat good at what they do. What is a drug dealer good at? Negotiation? Having a personality perfect for sales? Having a gun? That's fucking lame.

Money has to be gotten in ways that are ill and hard to cope with. You have to work like a dog for it in other words. Money is like earning someone's trust and friendship over the course of a few years and then realizing that they've blocked you on every device and never want to speak to you again. This is the equivalent of getting fired from your long term job for forwarding too many of your corny ass jokes using the office email. Getting fired loses you the hard earned money, but it was really your sense of humor that cost you.

Working is supposed to be so hard that you can't really focus on anything else. That's just how work is. If you time every task of your day while thinking about how efficient this exercise will make you, you'll find out that work doesn't like to be told how to be. This is because you will use your phone's timer function to time your work and at some point you will lose the phone in the water. Which water? take your pick. You'll drop it in the toilet, bump it into the sink full of dishes accidentally, take a shower with your clothes on and the phone in your pocket. It will happen and then you'll understand that work does as work is. You can't defeat it.

I feel excited when I go to work because I know that my work is what defines me and that I'll never be greater than my work. I was also excited when I started cooking every meal for the first time in my life. I stopped cooking every meal nine days later because I gave myself food poisoning via cross contamination. In the same way, work can really beat your ass sometimes.

I really really enjoy taking a day off though. It's pretty fucking great. But if you take too many days off from work then you will be too long away from your work. This is like taking on an interpretive dance apprenticeship in order to better yourself and then realizing later that it's just a front for criminal recruiting. If you don't join then the beat you up and take your money. Which is the same experience fundamentally, as going to college for your education.

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Remember this dumb song? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_nA6ZSNcMs&list=RDB_nA6ZSNcMs&start_radio=1

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