So my friend was showing me all the images and clips that he has recorded of himself playing video games. It was almost exclusively close ups of female ass. He is the kind of guy that convinces himself that it's somehow a funny quirk. But really he just loves ass. He could line the walls of his apartment with pictures of ass and he'd never think it was weird. He likes ass like how I like to check for new customers at the host stand. Obsessively.
I don't find anything wrong with it, this ass obsession. It just makes me laugh that his art, the art that he makes, the stuff that he likes, the clips that he records almost always are about ass. I think if there are any single ladies out there that want a man that knows how to appreciate an ass, then hit me up and I'll put you touch with this man of many asses.
Move Review: Friday The 13th (1980)
This movie loses half of it's score because they actually did kill a snake on camera. What the fuck man? You guys were filmmakers, you didn't know how to fake that shit? What's next? Every guy that John Wick shoots in the next film is going to actually be dead? I fucking hate that they killed the snake. Snakes are great. I see one around my work all the time. He doesn't bother anybody, he doesn't even try to scare people. People are just actually scared of snakes so they jump and scream when they see him. But it's not like he goes out of his way to jump scare them. He just wants to do some sun bathing.
The movie features a pretty good twist. This was a very influential film, blah blah blah. Kubrick released The Shining in the same year. A much better film I might add. But I think that The Shining is a much better film than any film. So here is where I present that I am not a real critic again.
So I watched this back in September. I'm publishing this review now because it is Halloween. Or maybe it's tomorrow. I don't know or care enough to google it. I am excited about binge eating candy and binge eating turkey next month. Then binge eating cookies in December. Then drinking in January. I work during New Years and make up for missing out on the drinking that night by drinking the rest of the month away.
The kills in this movie are pretty good. The movie has some genuinely scary moments. But you watch it for the title and for the experience. Then you realize that they senselessly murdered a snake in the making of the film and you just wish that you could wash that terrible taste that it puts in your mouth out. The movie is entertaining but I'd never own it and I'll never watch it again. Because I could be watching The Shining instead.
The movie features a pretty good twist. This was a very influential film, blah blah blah. Kubrick released The Shining in the same year. A much better film I might add. But I think that The Shining is a much better film than any film. So here is where I present that I am not a real critic again.
So I watched this back in September. I'm publishing this review now because it is Halloween. Or maybe it's tomorrow. I don't know or care enough to google it. I am excited about binge eating candy and binge eating turkey next month. Then binge eating cookies in December. Then drinking in January. I work during New Years and make up for missing out on the drinking that night by drinking the rest of the month away.
The kills in this movie are pretty good. The movie has some genuinely scary moments. But you watch it for the title and for the experience. Then you realize that they senselessly murdered a snake in the making of the film and you just wish that you could wash that terrible taste that it puts in your mouth out. The movie is entertaining but I'd never own it and I'll never watch it again. Because I could be watching The Shining instead.
Shot Glass Thought: My Bald Head Gets Cold
My big bald head gets so freaking cold. I know I could wear a beanie or whatever, but hats aren't something that I'm used to. I have had a thick mop of hair for most of my life. So this whole being bald all the time thing has taken some getting used to. I now wear windbrakers and sweaters far more than I used to. I put my hood up when I go in the grocery store because it is so fucking cold in there. But it's worth it. I would rather have my head be all one thing. Either all hair, or no hair. I want to have hair like I did when I was 15 or I want to be balder than a bald eagle with a shotgun and a cheeseburger with an American flag cape. America fuck yeah!
Video Game Review: Code Vein (2019)
So if you want a Dark Souls experience, then just play the first Dark Souls. Stop playing all these weird ass clones with new paint jobs. The paint job on this one is anime.
The combat with this game is not as carefully crafted and the difficulty is not as meaningful. The enemies are too plentiful and the combat doesn't feel as rewarding. There doesn't seem to be much staggering of the enemies either. Which makes the combat have less weight. I don't feel like me or the enemy are doing much of anything when we clang each other with our weapons but neither one of us reacts.
The environments are bland. I don't care if it's the end of the world, I am playing the game to be entertained. Part of that is having a visually appealing landscape. The cathedral section was kinda cool but it was repetitive. It was also clearly supposed to be Anor Londo.
I wish that there was a bartending mini game in the place where you hang out in between missions. That would be cool to throw rocking parties in there on a whim.
The game is for you if you are a weeb and you want to play dark souls but with the square button to spam instead of R1.
The combat with this game is not as carefully crafted and the difficulty is not as meaningful. The enemies are too plentiful and the combat doesn't feel as rewarding. There doesn't seem to be much staggering of the enemies either. Which makes the combat have less weight. I don't feel like me or the enemy are doing much of anything when we clang each other with our weapons but neither one of us reacts.
The environments are bland. I don't care if it's the end of the world, I am playing the game to be entertained. Part of that is having a visually appealing landscape. The cathedral section was kinda cool but it was repetitive. It was also clearly supposed to be Anor Londo.
I wish that there was a bartending mini game in the place where you hang out in between missions. That would be cool to throw rocking parties in there on a whim.
The game is for you if you are a weeb and you want to play dark souls but with the square button to spam instead of R1.
Comedy Story: Irrational Anger at the Past
Sometimes things from the past get to bothering right as I'm trying to drive down the road. Nobody else is is the car, just me and my thoughts that I do not want to get reacquainted with. The thoughts that I want to leave behind are the ones that make me angry. I don't want to be venting about the past in five lanes of traffic with three overly sensitive soccer moms hovering around my car thinking that my rage is directed at them. Then I get flicked off for no reason. I cut them off in order to pay them back. Then I get pulled over and given a ticket. So fuck me. That didn't really happen, but I think it definitely could.
I act out what I "should have done" in the car to show the situation who was really boss. I put "should have done" in quotation marks because I really did what was best and now am just venting like a madman about it. The "Should have done" stuff is always violent and confrontational. Like thinking that I should have knocked every tooth out of the mouth of the guy that shoved me at a party for no reason. Maybe his teeth would've been really sturdy and sharp. I might have ruined my hands while trying to beat him up. Good thing that I just glared at him and then walked on.
Another place where I get angry at the past is when I'm in the shower. Showers should be for masturbating or sex. Also it's a place where you can get clean. But it should never be a place where you pace back and forth pretending to punch and elbow an cocky ghost from the past. You shouldn't pace in the shower because it is dangerous. The only time when it is safe to pace on a wet surface is when you have on non slip shoes. I don't think anybody in the world is stripping naked and then pacing around the shower in their non slip shoes.
Sometimes when I'm being haunted by the ghosts of former anger and resentment, I haul off and punch something. This is the dumbest thing in the world. I make my living with my personality and my hands. Why would I ever take a chance on messing up one of the only two necessary components of that equation? Because emotion, specifically rage, is a powerful thing. It can make you damage relationships in ways that you never thought imaginable. The first time I ever buzzed my head was because I saw myself in the camera at a McDonald's. I was pissed that I had to wait so long for service that I started looking around and ended up discovering I was going bald. That is some bullshit. Although, now I like being bald because it's really comfortable. But you better believe that I was ranting like a madman when I was buzzing off my hair.
I don't need anger management because I never explode in the moment, I only get angry 3 months later when none of it matters. I just need to continue to give less of a fuck each day that goes by. That's the only solution. I am already on enough pills. I have already wasted enough time "talking to someone." I just need to dig deep into my soul and see that nothing is worth giving a fuck about. Then I'll be happy. I might get devoted enough to this idea that one day someone will find my blog and think that it was my religion/philosophy. But it's not anything new and it certainly wasn't my fresh new idea. Diogenes was busy not giving a fuck long before any of us were a thought. There were probably others just similar to him before he was around.
I act out what I "should have done" in the car to show the situation who was really boss. I put "should have done" in quotation marks because I really did what was best and now am just venting like a madman about it. The "Should have done" stuff is always violent and confrontational. Like thinking that I should have knocked every tooth out of the mouth of the guy that shoved me at a party for no reason. Maybe his teeth would've been really sturdy and sharp. I might have ruined my hands while trying to beat him up. Good thing that I just glared at him and then walked on.
Another place where I get angry at the past is when I'm in the shower. Showers should be for masturbating or sex. Also it's a place where you can get clean. But it should never be a place where you pace back and forth pretending to punch and elbow an cocky ghost from the past. You shouldn't pace in the shower because it is dangerous. The only time when it is safe to pace on a wet surface is when you have on non slip shoes. I don't think anybody in the world is stripping naked and then pacing around the shower in their non slip shoes.
Sometimes when I'm being haunted by the ghosts of former anger and resentment, I haul off and punch something. This is the dumbest thing in the world. I make my living with my personality and my hands. Why would I ever take a chance on messing up one of the only two necessary components of that equation? Because emotion, specifically rage, is a powerful thing. It can make you damage relationships in ways that you never thought imaginable. The first time I ever buzzed my head was because I saw myself in the camera at a McDonald's. I was pissed that I had to wait so long for service that I started looking around and ended up discovering I was going bald. That is some bullshit. Although, now I like being bald because it's really comfortable. But you better believe that I was ranting like a madman when I was buzzing off my hair.
I don't need anger management because I never explode in the moment, I only get angry 3 months later when none of it matters. I just need to continue to give less of a fuck each day that goes by. That's the only solution. I am already on enough pills. I have already wasted enough time "talking to someone." I just need to dig deep into my soul and see that nothing is worth giving a fuck about. Then I'll be happy. I might get devoted enough to this idea that one day someone will find my blog and think that it was my religion/philosophy. But it's not anything new and it certainly wasn't my fresh new idea. Diogenes was busy not giving a fuck long before any of us were a thought. There were probably others just similar to him before he was around.
Shot Glass Thought: Setting Goals, Doing Something
Setting goals is important when it comes to getting something done. Making a plan and doing your best to stick to it is important as well. But the most important thing is actually doing shit. I can plan on being the president of the United States but if I never leave the mountains of North Carolina, then my plan isn't worth a fuck when you're alone. I mean, you won't be fucking anyone if you're alone. I think that makes sense.
When I set a plan, and I've found that mental plans are better than written ones. If I write it down, then it's only to remember it as a mental plan later. But if the plan stays mental the whole time, then I can always be adjusting and working in other factors that perhaps where not a part of the equation before. This is how it is helpful for me.
There one thing that I've been doing that has made me feel better and is also kind of related to this topic. It's laying on my bed and doing deep breathing and then just imagining something really great happening for someone else. I see their reaction and the joy that they experience and it makes me feel good too. This is kind of like keeping a plan mental. I don't need to email my imagined scenario to the person I was thinking of so that we can iron out the details of how they will get to that joy. I can just feel good for a bit and then go back to life. If nothing else happens, then me feeling good for a bit is good enough for me.
When I set a plan, and I've found that mental plans are better than written ones. If I write it down, then it's only to remember it as a mental plan later. But if the plan stays mental the whole time, then I can always be adjusting and working in other factors that perhaps where not a part of the equation before. This is how it is helpful for me.
There one thing that I've been doing that has made me feel better and is also kind of related to this topic. It's laying on my bed and doing deep breathing and then just imagining something really great happening for someone else. I see their reaction and the joy that they experience and it makes me feel good too. This is kind of like keeping a plan mental. I don't need to email my imagined scenario to the person I was thinking of so that we can iron out the details of how they will get to that joy. I can just feel good for a bit and then go back to life. If nothing else happens, then me feeling good for a bit is good enough for me.
Short Funny Story: First Instinct in Emergency? Prostitution
So I was talking to this really sweet, pretty funny girl the other day. Sometimes that happens to me. I don't always just scowl at everyone I pass during my day. Sometimes good things happen and I smile and have a good time. But usually I scowl at everyone that I pass and angrily rant to myself until I can either get to work or get back home. The reason why I'm always so angry? Because I want to get to work already or get back home.
I asked the girl and her friend what they would do if they got in a bad situation and ended up homeless. Without even the slightest pause, the funny one said "Prostitution, yep... yeah definitely prostitution." She went on to elaborate that the world is a fucked up place, but she could be sheltered and taken care of if she got lucky and found a casual pimp. Now Socrates would want to know the exact definition of "casual pimp" and he would not have stopped until we had all arrived at what would probably be a very uncomfortable truth about pimps and hoes. But I let it go, as I imagine she meant a pimp that won't beat or kill you and does pay you enough to survive on.
The other girl said she would try other things before prostitution but honestly, being a hoe probably is one of the best calls for girls stuck on the streets. I mean, if you can't get help from anywhere else and you could starve to death or get killed, then what would you do? Well you would eventually contract STD's. Probably sooner rather than later. I can't imagine there is a super thorough pimp out there that won't let anyone fuck unless they provide papers proving that they have had all their tests done.
I was thinking that I would try to get one of those menial labor jobs and then hopefully buy some warm, sturdy clothes so that I could keep working and have a little more survivability. None of that would matter if I got mauled by a black bear sized rat crawling out of the sewers. So I guess I would need a weapon too. I'm thinking if you're stuck on the streets, you probably do want a gun. I mean, c'mon, we're talking about the most desperate human beings in our world. Don't you think a gun would be pretty handy, or shooty rather when it comes to self preservation?
Anyway, the point is that in this world, there are at least a few young women out there that value their bodies so little that they would willingly forfeit them as their first option in desperation. That was a bit sad to me when I heard it. But life is life is life. My jokes won't fix the way things are. But you did get the chance to imagine a homeless version of me screaming like a bitch and wildly firing a handgun at a black bear sized rat that might explode out of a manhole at any moment. You know that they are down there and so do I. We just have to not talk about it or it will run our lives.
I asked the girl and her friend what they would do if they got in a bad situation and ended up homeless. Without even the slightest pause, the funny one said "Prostitution, yep... yeah definitely prostitution." She went on to elaborate that the world is a fucked up place, but she could be sheltered and taken care of if she got lucky and found a casual pimp. Now Socrates would want to know the exact definition of "casual pimp" and he would not have stopped until we had all arrived at what would probably be a very uncomfortable truth about pimps and hoes. But I let it go, as I imagine she meant a pimp that won't beat or kill you and does pay you enough to survive on.
The other girl said she would try other things before prostitution but honestly, being a hoe probably is one of the best calls for girls stuck on the streets. I mean, if you can't get help from anywhere else and you could starve to death or get killed, then what would you do? Well you would eventually contract STD's. Probably sooner rather than later. I can't imagine there is a super thorough pimp out there that won't let anyone fuck unless they provide papers proving that they have had all their tests done.
I was thinking that I would try to get one of those menial labor jobs and then hopefully buy some warm, sturdy clothes so that I could keep working and have a little more survivability. None of that would matter if I got mauled by a black bear sized rat crawling out of the sewers. So I guess I would need a weapon too. I'm thinking if you're stuck on the streets, you probably do want a gun. I mean, c'mon, we're talking about the most desperate human beings in our world. Don't you think a gun would be pretty handy, or shooty rather when it comes to self preservation?
Anyway, the point is that in this world, there are at least a few young women out there that value their bodies so little that they would willingly forfeit them as their first option in desperation. That was a bit sad to me when I heard it. But life is life is life. My jokes won't fix the way things are. But you did get the chance to imagine a homeless version of me screaming like a bitch and wildly firing a handgun at a black bear sized rat that might explode out of a manhole at any moment. You know that they are down there and so do I. We just have to not talk about it or it will run our lives.
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