This game is a modern day classic and the all important starting point for the Mass Effect trilogy. Playing through it today, it's pretty archaic and boring at times. But that's on all the stuff that is outside of the main missions, side objectives and character interaction. All of that is brilliant in this game. The story is fun and introduces you to the incredible world of galaxy hopping and future reaper destroying.
This version of the game has quite a bit of slowdown at times. I have never had a crash, but I've seen plenty of slowdown and odd visual glitches. Playing the game on it's hardest difficulty is pretty much mathematically impossible. You just don't do enough damage points to make it practical. So that kind of stinks as I like when the difficulty is geared more towards the skill level of the player and not just numbers.
Saren is a worthy bad guy and worth the trouble of chasing across the galaxy to destroy. The mission on Illos will stand out in most player's minds. The final battle is pretty memorable too, even if it is a bit clunky at times. The combat could be described as clunky by and large. But it's still fun if you're patient and a big fan of the series already. The changes they made to the combat from 1 to 2 and then 2 to 3 were incredible. That's not to say that commanding your squad in this game isn't fun. But it does play at a much slower pace. The difference between 1 and three is so great that I would not blame someone for thinking they weren't from the same series.
Overall, this game was well worth revisiting for probably the 5th or 6th time. I love the Mass Effect series. Just remember that if you decide to revisit one and create a new character, you will have to destroy Saren, the Collectors and the Reapers all over again. So do it..that's what I'm saying. It will be great!
Showing posts with label Video Game Reviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Video Game Reviews. Show all posts
Video Game Review: Ghost Squad Wii (2007)
I think I explained earlier in my writings that I really love shooting games that let you get your shooty on. I don't need a tutorial or a bunch of screens and text. I just want to get right to shooting. This game certainly delivers. I don't pop a game about shooting bad guys into the console with all my hopes and dreams aimed at sitting through an explanation. The only time I ever listen to explanations is when my doctor is giving them. I ignore them at work because after pretty much a whole lifetime of working I think I fucking get it. I get working that is. I make a shit ton of mistakes at work, but thankfully my job mostly has to do with personality. At least that's what I always say.
Okay the game is fucking short. A friend and I tried it out for the first time before I had to go to work and we accidentally beat the game in about 48 minutes. But that's really not a negative because I didn't plan on spending the rest of my life playing games anyway. If you're a gamer and spending your whole life on playing games then well you are a twat. I'm just kidding, games are fucking awesome and I'd rather have a full library of them than kids and a wife.
There is potential to make your friend that plays with you, and with light gun games, yes that is pretty much mandatory. A little bit uncomfortable when you are so obviously way better at light gun games. So when you're like me and you just rattle off pretty much nothing but headshoots, this can cause your friend to be a bit insecure. I wrote headshoots on purpose because I think it's really fucking hilarious.
Shoot everything on screen in every scene. There are hidden power ups that you can get by shooting random objects. If you do this then you'll be shooting all the time and that is really all I want from almost any game. I love Persona 4: Golden for the constant interaction with virtual, pretend friends. I love them more than most of the friends I've made the last few years. If I could take the characters from that game and play a light gun game with them, then I would be in Heaven. That doesn't have much to do with this review, I'm just telling you that.
The game has you blasting terrorists in a very anime flavored setting. There is nothing here but dumb entertainment that happens to be fun. I can't stress it enough, that this is all a game really has to be. I don't want every game to be The Last of Us. When I'm tired from work or just tired from depression, sometimes I don't want to contemplate the failures of humanity and the tirelessness of the human spirit. Sometimes I just want to shoot baddies. If you're like me, then you'll like this game.
Okay the game is fucking short. A friend and I tried it out for the first time before I had to go to work and we accidentally beat the game in about 48 minutes. But that's really not a negative because I didn't plan on spending the rest of my life playing games anyway. If you're a gamer and spending your whole life on playing games then well you are a twat. I'm just kidding, games are fucking awesome and I'd rather have a full library of them than kids and a wife.
There is potential to make your friend that plays with you, and with light gun games, yes that is pretty much mandatory. A little bit uncomfortable when you are so obviously way better at light gun games. So when you're like me and you just rattle off pretty much nothing but headshoots, this can cause your friend to be a bit insecure. I wrote headshoots on purpose because I think it's really fucking hilarious.
Shoot everything on screen in every scene. There are hidden power ups that you can get by shooting random objects. If you do this then you'll be shooting all the time and that is really all I want from almost any game. I love Persona 4: Golden for the constant interaction with virtual, pretend friends. I love them more than most of the friends I've made the last few years. If I could take the characters from that game and play a light gun game with them, then I would be in Heaven. That doesn't have much to do with this review, I'm just telling you that.
The game has you blasting terrorists in a very anime flavored setting. There is nothing here but dumb entertainment that happens to be fun. I can't stress it enough, that this is all a game really has to be. I don't want every game to be The Last of Us. When I'm tired from work or just tired from depression, sometimes I don't want to contemplate the failures of humanity and the tirelessness of the human spirit. Sometimes I just want to shoot baddies. If you're like me, then you'll like this game.
Video Game Review: Code Vein (2019)
So if you want a Dark Souls experience, then just play the first Dark Souls. Stop playing all these weird ass clones with new paint jobs. The paint job on this one is anime.
The combat with this game is not as carefully crafted and the difficulty is not as meaningful. The enemies are too plentiful and the combat doesn't feel as rewarding. There doesn't seem to be much staggering of the enemies either. Which makes the combat have less weight. I don't feel like me or the enemy are doing much of anything when we clang each other with our weapons but neither one of us reacts.
The environments are bland. I don't care if it's the end of the world, I am playing the game to be entertained. Part of that is having a visually appealing landscape. The cathedral section was kinda cool but it was repetitive. It was also clearly supposed to be Anor Londo.
I wish that there was a bartending mini game in the place where you hang out in between missions. That would be cool to throw rocking parties in there on a whim.
The game is for you if you are a weeb and you want to play dark souls but with the square button to spam instead of R1.
The combat with this game is not as carefully crafted and the difficulty is not as meaningful. The enemies are too plentiful and the combat doesn't feel as rewarding. There doesn't seem to be much staggering of the enemies either. Which makes the combat have less weight. I don't feel like me or the enemy are doing much of anything when we clang each other with our weapons but neither one of us reacts.
The environments are bland. I don't care if it's the end of the world, I am playing the game to be entertained. Part of that is having a visually appealing landscape. The cathedral section was kinda cool but it was repetitive. It was also clearly supposed to be Anor Londo.
I wish that there was a bartending mini game in the place where you hang out in between missions. That would be cool to throw rocking parties in there on a whim.
The game is for you if you are a weeb and you want to play dark souls but with the square button to spam instead of R1.
Video Game Reviews: Golden Sun GBA (2001)
This fucking game was and is great. I don't know which consoles you can play it on. But I know that you can still play it on GBA. That's the ultimate nostalgia gasm for all of us millennials from that particular time segment. This game made you have hope. Even though you were a kid and the twinkle of a good, happy life was still in your eye, this game preserved that twinkle. Whereas something like Superman on the N64 just made you wonder why the world was so cruel and unfair.
The story is rad. It's the expected and typical jrpg style story. Which means that it's perfect. I know it's been said before, but it's not really a jrpg if the main characters don't bond and grow stronger over the course of a long journey and then team up to kill the god of their world, then it's really not a jrpg.
The exploration of the in game continent is rad. Imagine the magic in the eyes of a young babby Austin when I realized I had an entire continent to explore with my ragtag group of pre-teens. They have Ice, Earth, Fire and Wind powers. So basically everything that makes Captain Planet get an erection.
The bosses are rad. The regular enemies are rad too. You also have plenty of towns and dungeons to go walking around. You can capture little magic squirrel/bird things that boost your powers. The game is basically flawless and should have already had a major console release. Oh and the weapons are rad. Almost forgot. The animations of pretty much everything is great. It's either really cute and shows what they were able to accomplish back in the day. Or they are really impressive mini cut scenes that demonstrate the full scope of your badassery.
No surprises here, if you love games then give this one a try. Treat yourself to a fantastic experience that still holds up today as well as it did back when it was new. The timeless experience of enjoying a classic game.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg
The story is rad. It's the expected and typical jrpg style story. Which means that it's perfect. I know it's been said before, but it's not really a jrpg if the main characters don't bond and grow stronger over the course of a long journey and then team up to kill the god of their world, then it's really not a jrpg.
The exploration of the in game continent is rad. Imagine the magic in the eyes of a young babby Austin when I realized I had an entire continent to explore with my ragtag group of pre-teens. They have Ice, Earth, Fire and Wind powers. So basically everything that makes Captain Planet get an erection.
The bosses are rad. The regular enemies are rad too. You also have plenty of towns and dungeons to go walking around. You can capture little magic squirrel/bird things that boost your powers. The game is basically flawless and should have already had a major console release. Oh and the weapons are rad. Almost forgot. The animations of pretty much everything is great. It's either really cute and shows what they were able to accomplish back in the day. Or they are really impressive mini cut scenes that demonstrate the full scope of your badassery.
No surprises here, if you love games then give this one a try. Treat yourself to a fantastic experience that still holds up today as well as it did back when it was new. The timeless experience of enjoying a classic game.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg
Video Game Review: Mass Effect 3 WiiU (2012)
This is only a recent pickup for me as I was playing the entire trilogy on Xbox 360 back in the day.
The Mass Effect series has always appealed to me because it allows you to make friends with people that don't exist, who will love you unconditionally and will die for you if you ask them to. I mean, if that's not the highest quality escapism, then I don't know what is. You can even have sex with a bisexual blue alien lady. I'm still looking for someone out there to enact that fantasy with me in real life.
This one is the final entry in the trilogy of ME games. But the rest of the series cannot be played on WiiU. So the experience as a whole is greatly diminished. But if you take the game for it's own merits, it's still pretty fun.
I love playing multiplayer in this game. It's a repetitive ass horde mode that nobody plays anymore. I'm serious, I've played with the same four people that still play this game on this console. The WiiU is a dead console but seriously. There are only five of us out here still trying to win the war. But it's still fun.
The shooting sounds and feels great on every gun. The powers are awesome and figuring out how to build your character in order to do the most damage possible is a great time. The main story has amazing music and plenty of great missions. The reapers feel unstoppable, like an unknowable force from deep space that rains down terror on the masses. That's because they are that, but just saying it is not enough. These are enemies that we waited to duke it out with for 2 other long ass games. They are awesome and always a pleasure to kill.
Some of you have heard about the crappy ending. I don't really care about the ending, because I loved the games for what they were on their own. I only play games to have fun. This is a fun game with a disappointing ending. But if you didn't take the time to get to know all of the characters and love them with all your heart, then the ending will not matter. You'll just have enjoyed a really good game. So take my word for what it's worth and give this classic a revisit. If you want to play with me on WiiU then my tag is legendoeddiebob. It's a really stupid name but it always makes me laugh when I say it out loud.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
The Mass Effect series has always appealed to me because it allows you to make friends with people that don't exist, who will love you unconditionally and will die for you if you ask them to. I mean, if that's not the highest quality escapism, then I don't know what is. You can even have sex with a bisexual blue alien lady. I'm still looking for someone out there to enact that fantasy with me in real life.
This one is the final entry in the trilogy of ME games. But the rest of the series cannot be played on WiiU. So the experience as a whole is greatly diminished. But if you take the game for it's own merits, it's still pretty fun.
I love playing multiplayer in this game. It's a repetitive ass horde mode that nobody plays anymore. I'm serious, I've played with the same four people that still play this game on this console. The WiiU is a dead console but seriously. There are only five of us out here still trying to win the war. But it's still fun.
The shooting sounds and feels great on every gun. The powers are awesome and figuring out how to build your character in order to do the most damage possible is a great time. The main story has amazing music and plenty of great missions. The reapers feel unstoppable, like an unknowable force from deep space that rains down terror on the masses. That's because they are that, but just saying it is not enough. These are enemies that we waited to duke it out with for 2 other long ass games. They are awesome and always a pleasure to kill.
Some of you have heard about the crappy ending. I don't really care about the ending, because I loved the games for what they were on their own. I only play games to have fun. This is a fun game with a disappointing ending. But if you didn't take the time to get to know all of the characters and love them with all your heart, then the ending will not matter. You'll just have enjoyed a really good game. So take my word for what it's worth and give this classic a revisit. If you want to play with me on WiiU then my tag is legendoeddiebob. It's a really stupid name but it always makes me laugh when I say it out loud.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Video Game Reviews: House of The Dead 2 and 3 Return Wii (2008)
I can't believe I didn't play this game sooner. It is so much fun and is exactly what I was looking for on my Wii. Before anybody moans and groans, yes the controls are perfect and arcade quality. But also better than arcade quality if you went to an arcade back in the day that had a bunch of kids in there always throwing things and breaking things. Little shits. I am not an arcade repair man, I don't know how to re-calibrate a snapped in half plastic uzi.
Do you like to partake in the old rooty tooty point and shooty? Well do you like to point your shooter at NINJA FUCKING ZOMBIES? These aren't ninjas that are fucking zombies. They are zombie ninjas. How can anyone not want to shoot that? If there is a porno where ninjas fuck zombie broads then WHY haven't I wacked off to that yet? It sounds awesome! Maybe now is the time when most people would feel shame, but I've been alive and miserable too long for any of that.
The game is hard as fuck and you will only really enjoy the experience of playing it if you play with a friend. I was playing with a close friend of mine and we both had a blast, got frustrated, planned on quitting and then played some more. We went through that cycle like 3 times before the night was out. I had a great time. I think he got tired of me blaming all of our game overs on him. That's my bad, the game is hard enough without having the one person that's on your side turn on you.
The graphics and sound look fine. Don't be such a pampered little pussy. You don't need to be able to zoom in on every HD screenshot of zombie boogers in order to know if you're having fun playing the game or not. The voice acting is hilarious and the gameplay is fast paced. There are fuck tons of zombies. What else could you want? For you father to come back home with that pack of cigarettes that he went out to get 12 years ago? Well it's not gonna happen but this game did happen. And playing it should happen to you!
The boss fights are a big plus as well. I love the crazy movements of the first boss. He fights like the grooviest dancing monster thing at the club. He doesn't buy drinks for anyone, they just buy drinks for him and slip him ecstacy when he looks like he's about to pass out. Fucking wild man, party machine monster.
I recommend the game if you couldn't tell. If you can't tolerate seeing a game over screen then you are a pussy. But you also probably won't like this game. So just save your money. But if you aren't a pussy then definitely give this energetic old classic a try.
Click here to check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Do you like to partake in the old rooty tooty point and shooty? Well do you like to point your shooter at NINJA FUCKING ZOMBIES? These aren't ninjas that are fucking zombies. They are zombie ninjas. How can anyone not want to shoot that? If there is a porno where ninjas fuck zombie broads then WHY haven't I wacked off to that yet? It sounds awesome! Maybe now is the time when most people would feel shame, but I've been alive and miserable too long for any of that.
The game is hard as fuck and you will only really enjoy the experience of playing it if you play with a friend. I was playing with a close friend of mine and we both had a blast, got frustrated, planned on quitting and then played some more. We went through that cycle like 3 times before the night was out. I had a great time. I think he got tired of me blaming all of our game overs on him. That's my bad, the game is hard enough without having the one person that's on your side turn on you.
The graphics and sound look fine. Don't be such a pampered little pussy. You don't need to be able to zoom in on every HD screenshot of zombie boogers in order to know if you're having fun playing the game or not. The voice acting is hilarious and the gameplay is fast paced. There are fuck tons of zombies. What else could you want? For you father to come back home with that pack of cigarettes that he went out to get 12 years ago? Well it's not gonna happen but this game did happen. And playing it should happen to you!
The boss fights are a big plus as well. I love the crazy movements of the first boss. He fights like the grooviest dancing monster thing at the club. He doesn't buy drinks for anyone, they just buy drinks for him and slip him ecstacy when he looks like he's about to pass out. Fucking wild man, party machine monster.
I recommend the game if you couldn't tell. If you can't tolerate seeing a game over screen then you are a pussy. But you also probably won't like this game. So just save your money. But if you aren't a pussy then definitely give this energetic old classic a try.
Click here to check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Video Game Review: Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles and Darkside Chronicles Wii (2007 & 2009)
Both games are light gun games that you can play with a friend. They are supposed to flesh out the story from Resident Evil games that came before resident evil 4 I believe. If I wanted a history lesson I would consult my former uninterested high school history teacher about the historical context of Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. But I don't want a history lesson and these games are ass.
The thing I love about a light gun game is being able to shoot a lot of targets in a short amount of time with a good degree of intensity. The zombies do not die quick enough. Sure you can kill them in one shot with a head shot sometimes, but not all of the time. I want it to work every time so I can go racing through your levels. I think the action in these games would excite only my aforementioned history teacher who probably works as a security guard on the weekend. I'm saying that because he was fat and boring. That's pretty much it. That also summarizes what I think of security guards.
You can enjoy anything that you do with a friend. That's about it for these games. You could probably have a good time trying to build your own coffee machine with a friend. You might even enjoy building your own meth lab with a friend, but that doesn't mean that you should do either or play these games.
Jack Krauser is in Darkside Chronicles, so that's a big plus. Krauser in these games is like going to a friend's house where all they have is cabbage soup and a spectacular dessert. The desert was great, but it wasn't really worth dealing with the smell and flavor of the cabbage soup. Krauser is that desert.
These games could give you a good degree of nostalgia if you love Resident Evil, or if you loved these games when they came out. But they just move too slowly for me. They might convey the frantic action tone they were going for if I had french fries seasoned with Carolina Reaper dust right before playing them.
I've always pretty much hated these games, because back in the day Capcom, the folks who made these games hinted that they might make a Wii exclusive game that would play like Resident Evil 4. Re4 is my favorite game of all time and was back then too. So I had my hopes way up high for that game and then they gave us two average light gun games instead. I'm still salty about it and that will probably never change.
The thing I love about a light gun game is being able to shoot a lot of targets in a short amount of time with a good degree of intensity. The zombies do not die quick enough. Sure you can kill them in one shot with a head shot sometimes, but not all of the time. I want it to work every time so I can go racing through your levels. I think the action in these games would excite only my aforementioned history teacher who probably works as a security guard on the weekend. I'm saying that because he was fat and boring. That's pretty much it. That also summarizes what I think of security guards.
You can enjoy anything that you do with a friend. That's about it for these games. You could probably have a good time trying to build your own coffee machine with a friend. You might even enjoy building your own meth lab with a friend, but that doesn't mean that you should do either or play these games.
Jack Krauser is in Darkside Chronicles, so that's a big plus. Krauser in these games is like going to a friend's house where all they have is cabbage soup and a spectacular dessert. The desert was great, but it wasn't really worth dealing with the smell and flavor of the cabbage soup. Krauser is that desert.
These games could give you a good degree of nostalgia if you love Resident Evil, or if you loved these games when they came out. But they just move too slowly for me. They might convey the frantic action tone they were going for if I had french fries seasoned with Carolina Reaper dust right before playing them.
I've always pretty much hated these games, because back in the day Capcom, the folks who made these games hinted that they might make a Wii exclusive game that would play like Resident Evil 4. Re4 is my favorite game of all time and was back then too. So I had my hopes way up high for that game and then they gave us two average light gun games instead. I'm still salty about it and that will probably never change.
Video Game Review: My Love will go on for Red Steel Wii (2006)
This is first person shooting and sword fighting game. That's enough of a sell for me right out of the gate. I played this game when it came out way back in ye good olden year of 2006. I only recently beat it because I like to put things off in a major way. Actually, I didn't beat it all those years ago because I thought that it was terrible and I didn't want to play it anymore. Now, in 2019 and in 2020 I've revisited the game twice and I can honestly say, I love it.
This is by no means a perfect game. Your aiming dot will sometimes just fly out of control no matter how steady your hands are. By sometimes, I mean there is a constant flickering and jankiness to the aiming. The flickering and jankiness can be compounded by the dot flying totally out of control. You can expect this to happen a few times when you're activating the slow motion shooting power. This is because you have to hold down the A button and then lurch the controller forward like you're trying to stab a ghost.
My hands shake like I need a drink, because I need a drink. Though I wouldn't recommend drinking while you play this game, you could get really frustrated and break something valuable in your place. Controllers learn to fly much easier when there is some alcohol fueled rage in the room with you. Yes I might be disassociating from the booze rage I get after 7 consecutive deaths to a highly pixelated samurai lady. I'm not gonna tell you directly of my booze rage situation, but it may have happened over at my friend's apartment who happened to be revisiting this game around the same time.
Sometimes the sword fighting controls will feel perfect and sometimes they will ignore you the way most women ignore me after our first conversation. Something about sending a lady 8 straight one-liners about my penis that sends them running in the opposite direction. I thought people loved hearing about my penis? Anyway, the sword mechanics in the game. Sometimes you can sneak up on an enemy and whip the nunchuck at them for a stealth sword kill. The kill part of the equation work pretty reliably but the stealth part doesn't. As your character winds up for the kill, the bad guy usually turns around and shoots you at least once. That kind of blows, but it doesn't ruin the experience.
The 1v1 sword battles are just plain rad. I know a lot of people hate them because they make no logical sense. Scott, the main character is a gun expert. Why on Earth would he swap to a sword and battle it out with some fools instead of gunning them down on the spot? Because this is a video game! Scott knows that we need these sword battles whether we want them to make sense or not. So he delivers.
The sword combo moves can be somewhat difficult to pull off at first, but I found them to work consistently after a good bit of practice. Regular sword fighting enemies are usually fast or heavy hitters. You have to dodge and counter the heavy hitters and you have to parry the fast hitters. Sometimes they will swap styles in the middle of the fight. Even so, once you get the hang of it, they are not that hard to handle.
The sword fighting boss fights are tense and challenging. Specifically the one with the babe that you see sitting on Scott's lap in the loading screen. She swaps styles and you have to lower her aggression meter or something like that, I don't know I wasn't really paying attention to that part. You parry, dodge and unleash combos to win, just like every other game. This tough babe is in the geisha mission and fighting her is probably one of the highlights of the game. So if you play the game, look forward to that mission.
So, like I said, the asian sword hotty is on Scott's lap in every load screen. Does that loading screen imply that we boned her off camera and cheated on our fiance that we are trying to rescue? If that's the case then why was that scene cut from the game? As a total creep, I would have loved to have observed a bit of pixelated junk bumping. Plus the lady is Asian and I think we all know that they have blurry genitals anyway, so, no need for censorship. Real missed opportunity there.
When I first saw that loading screen I thought it meant that we would befriend her and then turn over a few buddy cop missions. Maybe they had something like this in the game but had to cut it later on. It would have been so cool to get to work alongside her to stealthfully take out unsuspecting enemies like a couple of ninja lovers. Then at the end of the game you have to decide if you want to make your lifu about your sword waifu or go back to plane Jane damsel in distress. I'm 100% in the marry plane Jane and then cheat on her with sword waifu third category.
The final sword boss fight sets up a twist ending that you could probably see coming. But it's still fun anyway. I'm not sure that it really counts as a twist ending, but it does go against your expectations, so it's pretty good in that way. Like I've said before, you don't make your way through this murky, pixelated shoot and slash fest for the riveting story and deep symbolism. You don't even play this game to learn more about a culture. Well, maybe they had some kind of consultant for that stuff but I really doubt it. Most of the time the voice acting sounds like an offensive impersonation of an Asian person. That's not a dig against the voice actors if they really do sound like that, but it does at times make me laugh just listening to the dialogue.
The technology of the Wii was brand spanking new when this game was made. So it is pretty janky control wise. The graphics are pretty bad and the story is pretty dumb. But you shouldn't come into a game like this expecting cinematic brilliance and cutting edge realism. You should be in the mood to make the bad guys go boom-boom and to whip the controller around your apartment in a virtual sword fight. I got way too into one fight and slightly strained my left bicep. I told everyone at work that I did it at the gym but I think they can tell that I don't go to the gym.
The fight where I strained my left bicep was during a parrying mission against a guy that you are lead to believe is your friend. His fight is in place to make you master parrying. I didn't really understand the levels of parrying in the game at the time and so the constant whipping of the nunchuk during the fight caused me my minor injury. After something like 21 straight half parries I was able to figure out that I needed to wait a little longer to swing the nunchuk and to make the movement shorter. This allows for the full disarming parry and that's how you beat the bastard.
I was happy for most of the experience with this game. The shooting felt really good. The slow down time power was pretty rad and the game as a whole has this silliness but sometimes seriousness to it. It's really an interesting flavor. It's not always ironically funny either, some of it is intentional. The highlight of the game is probably this comical but also horrifying rabbit level. At first it plays like it's comedy, but then you have a pitch black fight scene with a bunch of ninjas or something like that. I got kind of spooked to be honest. There is no shortage of demented rabbit heads in the level. It's weird man. It's like the people who made it wanted a way to communicate that they are in fact Japanese and therefore the champions of being weird.
There are two scenes in the rabbit level that gave me jump scares to be more specific. One of them is the moment directly after the lights are turned out on you. There are two flying white orbs in the room. Turns out, those are the masks of two guys who will shoot you when you get close enough. Pretty damn spooky yo. The second time is when you walk down a corridor and see a green dinosaur looking mannequin. You can walk right past it and get a shotgun blast to the back. The green dinosaur mannequin is a man! For a rated T 2006 Wii game, these two moments got me pretty good.
When the sword fighting is responsive, which is about 75% of the time, the game feels awesome. When the shooting feels responsive, which is about 90% of the time then you feel like a total badass. The uzi is fun to blaze away with, the pistols are all great. The semi auto shotgun and the Scar assault rifle are just a great time. Both guns make you feel really powerful. The game is fun if a bit dated and janky. I give it my full recommendation. You might want to take a pass if you are easily frustrated though. In those moments where you are swinging away as if you're a madman trying to kill a house fly that isn't there, the game can get pretty frustrating.
This is by no means a perfect game. Your aiming dot will sometimes just fly out of control no matter how steady your hands are. By sometimes, I mean there is a constant flickering and jankiness to the aiming. The flickering and jankiness can be compounded by the dot flying totally out of control. You can expect this to happen a few times when you're activating the slow motion shooting power. This is because you have to hold down the A button and then lurch the controller forward like you're trying to stab a ghost.
My hands shake like I need a drink, because I need a drink. Though I wouldn't recommend drinking while you play this game, you could get really frustrated and break something valuable in your place. Controllers learn to fly much easier when there is some alcohol fueled rage in the room with you. Yes I might be disassociating from the booze rage I get after 7 consecutive deaths to a highly pixelated samurai lady. I'm not gonna tell you directly of my booze rage situation, but it may have happened over at my friend's apartment who happened to be revisiting this game around the same time.
Sometimes the sword fighting controls will feel perfect and sometimes they will ignore you the way most women ignore me after our first conversation. Something about sending a lady 8 straight one-liners about my penis that sends them running in the opposite direction. I thought people loved hearing about my penis? Anyway, the sword mechanics in the game. Sometimes you can sneak up on an enemy and whip the nunchuck at them for a stealth sword kill. The kill part of the equation work pretty reliably but the stealth part doesn't. As your character winds up for the kill, the bad guy usually turns around and shoots you at least once. That kind of blows, but it doesn't ruin the experience.
The 1v1 sword battles are just plain rad. I know a lot of people hate them because they make no logical sense. Scott, the main character is a gun expert. Why on Earth would he swap to a sword and battle it out with some fools instead of gunning them down on the spot? Because this is a video game! Scott knows that we need these sword battles whether we want them to make sense or not. So he delivers.
The sword combo moves can be somewhat difficult to pull off at first, but I found them to work consistently after a good bit of practice. Regular sword fighting enemies are usually fast or heavy hitters. You have to dodge and counter the heavy hitters and you have to parry the fast hitters. Sometimes they will swap styles in the middle of the fight. Even so, once you get the hang of it, they are not that hard to handle.
The sword fighting boss fights are tense and challenging. Specifically the one with the babe that you see sitting on Scott's lap in the loading screen. She swaps styles and you have to lower her aggression meter or something like that, I don't know I wasn't really paying attention to that part. You parry, dodge and unleash combos to win, just like every other game. This tough babe is in the geisha mission and fighting her is probably one of the highlights of the game. So if you play the game, look forward to that mission.
So, like I said, the asian sword hotty is on Scott's lap in every load screen. Does that loading screen imply that we boned her off camera and cheated on our fiance that we are trying to rescue? If that's the case then why was that scene cut from the game? As a total creep, I would have loved to have observed a bit of pixelated junk bumping. Plus the lady is Asian and I think we all know that they have blurry genitals anyway, so, no need for censorship. Real missed opportunity there.
When I first saw that loading screen I thought it meant that we would befriend her and then turn over a few buddy cop missions. Maybe they had something like this in the game but had to cut it later on. It would have been so cool to get to work alongside her to stealthfully take out unsuspecting enemies like a couple of ninja lovers. Then at the end of the game you have to decide if you want to make your lifu about your sword waifu or go back to plane Jane damsel in distress. I'm 100% in the marry plane Jane and then cheat on her with sword waifu third category.
The final sword boss fight sets up a twist ending that you could probably see coming. But it's still fun anyway. I'm not sure that it really counts as a twist ending, but it does go against your expectations, so it's pretty good in that way. Like I've said before, you don't make your way through this murky, pixelated shoot and slash fest for the riveting story and deep symbolism. You don't even play this game to learn more about a culture. Well, maybe they had some kind of consultant for that stuff but I really doubt it. Most of the time the voice acting sounds like an offensive impersonation of an Asian person. That's not a dig against the voice actors if they really do sound like that, but it does at times make me laugh just listening to the dialogue.
The technology of the Wii was brand spanking new when this game was made. So it is pretty janky control wise. The graphics are pretty bad and the story is pretty dumb. But you shouldn't come into a game like this expecting cinematic brilliance and cutting edge realism. You should be in the mood to make the bad guys go boom-boom and to whip the controller around your apartment in a virtual sword fight. I got way too into one fight and slightly strained my left bicep. I told everyone at work that I did it at the gym but I think they can tell that I don't go to the gym.
The fight where I strained my left bicep was during a parrying mission against a guy that you are lead to believe is your friend. His fight is in place to make you master parrying. I didn't really understand the levels of parrying in the game at the time and so the constant whipping of the nunchuk during the fight caused me my minor injury. After something like 21 straight half parries I was able to figure out that I needed to wait a little longer to swing the nunchuk and to make the movement shorter. This allows for the full disarming parry and that's how you beat the bastard.
I was happy for most of the experience with this game. The shooting felt really good. The slow down time power was pretty rad and the game as a whole has this silliness but sometimes seriousness to it. It's really an interesting flavor. It's not always ironically funny either, some of it is intentional. The highlight of the game is probably this comical but also horrifying rabbit level. At first it plays like it's comedy, but then you have a pitch black fight scene with a bunch of ninjas or something like that. I got kind of spooked to be honest. There is no shortage of demented rabbit heads in the level. It's weird man. It's like the people who made it wanted a way to communicate that they are in fact Japanese and therefore the champions of being weird.
There are two scenes in the rabbit level that gave me jump scares to be more specific. One of them is the moment directly after the lights are turned out on you. There are two flying white orbs in the room. Turns out, those are the masks of two guys who will shoot you when you get close enough. Pretty damn spooky yo. The second time is when you walk down a corridor and see a green dinosaur looking mannequin. You can walk right past it and get a shotgun blast to the back. The green dinosaur mannequin is a man! For a rated T 2006 Wii game, these two moments got me pretty good.
When the sword fighting is responsive, which is about 75% of the time, the game feels awesome. When the shooting feels responsive, which is about 90% of the time then you feel like a total badass. The uzi is fun to blaze away with, the pistols are all great. The semi auto shotgun and the Scar assault rifle are just a great time. Both guns make you feel really powerful. The game is fun if a bit dated and janky. I give it my full recommendation. You might want to take a pass if you are easily frustrated though. In those moments where you are swinging away as if you're a madman trying to kill a house fly that isn't there, the game can get pretty frustrating.
Video Game Reviews: Brothers in Arms Double Time Wii (2008)
This is a collection of two Brothers in Arms games that are adapted to the Wii. But neither one of them are adapted to fun. It's games like these that make me think that I should be spending my money on a used car on Facebook yard sales instead.
The beginning and end of these two games for me, is boredom. This is one of the most cardinal of video game sins. The other being that a game is unplayable. That is the one thing that you can't forgive of a video game. Not that I beat either game. Couldn't bring myself to play more than 4 hours total of both games. Maybe that will piss someone off that I didn't give them a fair shot, but if you don't grab my attention before the 4 hour mark in literally anything, then I'm out.
The box says that the games are based on a true story, but that really doesn't matter. What you have here is a couple of story driven, ww2, squad based games. That would be perfectly okay with me if there was tons of raw shooting and action and every scene made my toes grip the inside of my shoes even harder, but it doesn't play out like that. It's just uninteresting and archaic feeling. I don't play video games to learn about history, I play them for fun. If someone recommends you this game, it's because they are sadists and probably work as student loan officers because they are obsessed with authority but aren't fit enough to be a cop.
Now I am the guy that said that he had fun playing Far Cry: Vengeance. So take this and all my reviews for what they are worth. But these two games just are not fun. I am obsessing over that quality because that's all a game should be, fun. I am aware that I am obsessed with finding real love, while still employing Tinder as my primary means for meeting women. I'm complex, what can I say?
I wish that I cared about the story and characters in this game. But I don't and maybe that's something that I should think about. All the games that have less story to deal with that I've played recently have been my favorites. I've seen more interesting twitter feuds than the story of these games and way more action in Pokemon battles. If you can't make your all out war game more gripping than Pidgey vs Pikachu then you have a problem.
I've saved the important details for evaluating a game for the last paragraph because I'm cheeky like that. The action is slow paced, the gameplay is archaic and the sound is weak. If you're totally obsessed with WW2 stuff then give this game a shot, it is cheap. But keep your expectations low. I could only see myself ever playing this again on accident. Like someone tricked me into playing it by telling me that it was something else.
The beginning and end of these two games for me, is boredom. This is one of the most cardinal of video game sins. The other being that a game is unplayable. That is the one thing that you can't forgive of a video game. Not that I beat either game. Couldn't bring myself to play more than 4 hours total of both games. Maybe that will piss someone off that I didn't give them a fair shot, but if you don't grab my attention before the 4 hour mark in literally anything, then I'm out.
The box says that the games are based on a true story, but that really doesn't matter. What you have here is a couple of story driven, ww2, squad based games. That would be perfectly okay with me if there was tons of raw shooting and action and every scene made my toes grip the inside of my shoes even harder, but it doesn't play out like that. It's just uninteresting and archaic feeling. I don't play video games to learn about history, I play them for fun. If someone recommends you this game, it's because they are sadists and probably work as student loan officers because they are obsessed with authority but aren't fit enough to be a cop.
Now I am the guy that said that he had fun playing Far Cry: Vengeance. So take this and all my reviews for what they are worth. But these two games just are not fun. I am obsessing over that quality because that's all a game should be, fun. I am aware that I am obsessed with finding real love, while still employing Tinder as my primary means for meeting women. I'm complex, what can I say?
I wish that I cared about the story and characters in this game. But I don't and maybe that's something that I should think about. All the games that have less story to deal with that I've played recently have been my favorites. I've seen more interesting twitter feuds than the story of these games and way more action in Pokemon battles. If you can't make your all out war game more gripping than Pidgey vs Pikachu then you have a problem.
I've saved the important details for evaluating a game for the last paragraph because I'm cheeky like that. The action is slow paced, the gameplay is archaic and the sound is weak. If you're totally obsessed with WW2 stuff then give this game a shot, it is cheap. But keep your expectations low. I could only see myself ever playing this again on accident. Like someone tricked me into playing it by telling me that it was something else.
Video Game Review: Far Cry: Vengeance Wii (2006)
Okay let me get a few things out of the way. This game looks terrible, the sound is terrible, the game play is repetitive and most of what you've heard about it is true. It is a bad game. Having this game stored away in your house is like having a secret room in your basement where all you do is slowly mash your thumb into the sharp end of thumb tacks. It's a strange thing to do for fun is all I'm saying.
That being said, the only important factor in games is having fun. I will likely repeat that again somewhere else. I never got into rhythm games because I didn't think they were fun. Mostly because I didn't have anyone to play them with, because I am not fun. I had a good deal of fun playing this terrible game, and it didn't cost me much. It's not my new favorite game or something like that. That would be like if I went soul searching for a purpose in life and decided to play darts professionally. Except Far Cry: Vengeance is a way better time than darts.
So I already told you the game was bad and that means that you shouldn't play it right? Wrong. I think everyone that has a Wii and likes shooters should try this game out once. It is actually fun if you come into it just wanting to point and shoot. Yes there are plenty of other games out there and the Wii is old as shit anyway. Most of you already sold yours anyway. I'm not recommending that you buy it back just to play this mess, but if you still have the console, this would not be a bad pickup. Deciding to ignore critics and to just play games for purely for the experience of playing games is a liberating experience. It's like going on a walk in your neighborhood and then stumbling onto ancient Mayan ruins. Maybe other people knew they were there, but you didn't and now you've experience them for yourself. It's exciting and reminds me of being a kid again.
The key to playing and enjoying any Wii shooter is to understand that you aren't really waving a gun and knife around or whatever the game has. You are propping your arm with the Wii mote on your leg or the arm of a comfortable chair. This method will allow for accurate rooty tooty point and shooty. This technique will make you feel like you have the arcade at your place. The arcade is fun, so Far Cry: Vengeance is fun. I was in one of the sections where you shoot a bunch of guys as they run at you, and it wasn't hard at all. The difficulty is pretty low. But you are still a guy with a machine gun, gunning down endless numbers of standard bad guys. I just really enjoy that as a concept I guess. In a world where people will kill each other for attention, I just want a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Far Cry: Vengeance is not quite good enough for me to add the banana to the equation but is a solid peanut butter sandwich in it's own right.
Having the arcade at my place is the whole reason why I never really moved on from the Wii. I never really moved on from a lot of things including the few unlucky girls that have loved me. So that makes me a lonely grown man playing with something intended for a child while hoping for a call to come from more successful and more talented women that I basically swindled into bed once upon a time. It might seem like I have a really negative outlook on things but that's just because I do. Getting to know me is like starting a new job and then remembering how much you hate work.
The main character and the story exist in Far Cry: Vengeance and that's about it. I haven't been paying attention to the that because that isn't what the experience is about for me. But it is pretty funny to see a game try the minimum amount to convey a story to us, the players. The protagonist is douchie and lame and I had a great time laughing at him and the super evil guy that we are supposed to be desperate to defeat. There is a broad in the story too, but whatever you know. Last pro tip for your sanity, do not try to zoom in with the scope of the sniper rifle. It will not go well. Just rename this game in your head to machine gun man the game.
Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business:https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/
Click here if you like your Christmas music early and depressing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI
Click here if a little low grade rooty tooty point and shooty is just what the doctor ordered:
That being said, the only important factor in games is having fun. I will likely repeat that again somewhere else. I never got into rhythm games because I didn't think they were fun. Mostly because I didn't have anyone to play them with, because I am not fun. I had a good deal of fun playing this terrible game, and it didn't cost me much. It's not my new favorite game or something like that. That would be like if I went soul searching for a purpose in life and decided to play darts professionally. Except Far Cry: Vengeance is a way better time than darts.
So I already told you the game was bad and that means that you shouldn't play it right? Wrong. I think everyone that has a Wii and likes shooters should try this game out once. It is actually fun if you come into it just wanting to point and shoot. Yes there are plenty of other games out there and the Wii is old as shit anyway. Most of you already sold yours anyway. I'm not recommending that you buy it back just to play this mess, but if you still have the console, this would not be a bad pickup. Deciding to ignore critics and to just play games for purely for the experience of playing games is a liberating experience. It's like going on a walk in your neighborhood and then stumbling onto ancient Mayan ruins. Maybe other people knew they were there, but you didn't and now you've experience them for yourself. It's exciting and reminds me of being a kid again.
The key to playing and enjoying any Wii shooter is to understand that you aren't really waving a gun and knife around or whatever the game has. You are propping your arm with the Wii mote on your leg or the arm of a comfortable chair. This method will allow for accurate rooty tooty point and shooty. This technique will make you feel like you have the arcade at your place. The arcade is fun, so Far Cry: Vengeance is fun. I was in one of the sections where you shoot a bunch of guys as they run at you, and it wasn't hard at all. The difficulty is pretty low. But you are still a guy with a machine gun, gunning down endless numbers of standard bad guys. I just really enjoy that as a concept I guess. In a world where people will kill each other for attention, I just want a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Far Cry: Vengeance is not quite good enough for me to add the banana to the equation but is a solid peanut butter sandwich in it's own right.
Having the arcade at my place is the whole reason why I never really moved on from the Wii. I never really moved on from a lot of things including the few unlucky girls that have loved me. So that makes me a lonely grown man playing with something intended for a child while hoping for a call to come from more successful and more talented women that I basically swindled into bed once upon a time. It might seem like I have a really negative outlook on things but that's just because I do. Getting to know me is like starting a new job and then remembering how much you hate work.
The main character and the story exist in Far Cry: Vengeance and that's about it. I haven't been paying attention to the that because that isn't what the experience is about for me. But it is pretty funny to see a game try the minimum amount to convey a story to us, the players. The protagonist is douchie and lame and I had a great time laughing at him and the super evil guy that we are supposed to be desperate to defeat. There is a broad in the story too, but whatever you know. Last pro tip for your sanity, do not try to zoom in with the scope of the sniper rifle. It will not go well. Just rename this game in your head to machine gun man the game.
Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business:https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/
Click here if you like your Christmas music early and depressing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8gmARGvPlI
Click here if a little low grade rooty tooty point and shooty is just what the doctor ordered:
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