Lung cancer patient addicted to coughing, not cigarettes.
I have hurt myself while drinking alcohol but only because it makes me want to run on the treadmill...obviously, without the safety belt.
Audacious southern preacher claims swearing to be a first class ticket to Hell while also ruining his congregation by instigating petty squabbles.
Bigoted liberal insists on destroying poor neighborhoods with handouts instead of advocating increases in education funding.
Selfish conservative doesn't care enough to notice poor neighborhood or maniacal bigoted liberal.
Wrote those last two jokes because a deranged anarchist picked the lock on my front door.
To be honest, the deranged anarchist is probably just me but in a delusion. To be clear, I do hate both sides of the political isle. So, both of you can find unity in hating me back. I could give a fuck less. Plus, it's what our first president would have wanted. The unity part, not the hating of a comedian.
Two good friends of mine have taken up smoking and I can't figure out why. When I want to kill myself I Google "Cliffs near me" because, why not make it quick? Smoking and cancer takes forever and really, really hurts. Shooting over the railing at 99 miles per hour and crashing in catastrophic fashion at the bottom of a ravine only hurts once and not for very long.
That was 8 Sketchy Dark Jokes From a Guy Who Doesn't Draw. I used to draw and maybe I should again. It is great for stress relief. Though, so is writing dark jokes. Two of my friends are having a drawing contest challenge thing. It's been great to watch because one of them is discovering a new passion and the other one is demonstrating step-by-step how to half ass something that is supposedly your passion. Maybe that should be in my next The Answers post. Those things take time, so don't expect it soon. Anyway, thanks for reading and cheers!
No comments:
Post a Comment