So my friend was showing me all the images and clips that he has recorded of himself playing video games. It was almost exclusively close ups of female ass. He is the kind of guy that convinces himself that it's somehow a funny quirk. But really he just loves ass. He could line the walls of his apartment with pictures of ass and he'd never think it was weird. He likes ass like how I like to check for new customers at the host stand. Obsessively.
I don't find anything wrong with it, this ass obsession. It just makes me laugh that his art, the art that he makes, the stuff that he likes, the clips that he records almost always are about ass. I think if there are any single ladies out there that want a man that knows how to appreciate an ass, then hit me up and I'll put you touch with this man of many asses.
Move Review: Friday The 13th (1980)
This movie loses half of it's score because they actually did kill a snake on camera. What the fuck man? You guys were filmmakers, you didn't know how to fake that shit? What's next? Every guy that John Wick shoots in the next film is going to actually be dead? I fucking hate that they killed the snake. Snakes are great. I see one around my work all the time. He doesn't bother anybody, he doesn't even try to scare people. People are just actually scared of snakes so they jump and scream when they see him. But it's not like he goes out of his way to jump scare them. He just wants to do some sun bathing.
The movie features a pretty good twist. This was a very influential film, blah blah blah. Kubrick released The Shining in the same year. A much better film I might add. But I think that The Shining is a much better film than any film. So here is where I present that I am not a real critic again.
So I watched this back in September. I'm publishing this review now because it is Halloween. Or maybe it's tomorrow. I don't know or care enough to google it. I am excited about binge eating candy and binge eating turkey next month. Then binge eating cookies in December. Then drinking in January. I work during New Years and make up for missing out on the drinking that night by drinking the rest of the month away.
The kills in this movie are pretty good. The movie has some genuinely scary moments. But you watch it for the title and for the experience. Then you realize that they senselessly murdered a snake in the making of the film and you just wish that you could wash that terrible taste that it puts in your mouth out. The movie is entertaining but I'd never own it and I'll never watch it again. Because I could be watching The Shining instead.
The movie features a pretty good twist. This was a very influential film, blah blah blah. Kubrick released The Shining in the same year. A much better film I might add. But I think that The Shining is a much better film than any film. So here is where I present that I am not a real critic again.
So I watched this back in September. I'm publishing this review now because it is Halloween. Or maybe it's tomorrow. I don't know or care enough to google it. I am excited about binge eating candy and binge eating turkey next month. Then binge eating cookies in December. Then drinking in January. I work during New Years and make up for missing out on the drinking that night by drinking the rest of the month away.
The kills in this movie are pretty good. The movie has some genuinely scary moments. But you watch it for the title and for the experience. Then you realize that they senselessly murdered a snake in the making of the film and you just wish that you could wash that terrible taste that it puts in your mouth out. The movie is entertaining but I'd never own it and I'll never watch it again. Because I could be watching The Shining instead.
Shot Glass Thought: My Bald Head Gets Cold
My big bald head gets so freaking cold. I know I could wear a beanie or whatever, but hats aren't something that I'm used to. I have had a thick mop of hair for most of my life. So this whole being bald all the time thing has taken some getting used to. I now wear windbrakers and sweaters far more than I used to. I put my hood up when I go in the grocery store because it is so fucking cold in there. But it's worth it. I would rather have my head be all one thing. Either all hair, or no hair. I want to have hair like I did when I was 15 or I want to be balder than a bald eagle with a shotgun and a cheeseburger with an American flag cape. America fuck yeah!
Video Game Review: Code Vein (2019)
So if you want a Dark Souls experience, then just play the first Dark Souls. Stop playing all these weird ass clones with new paint jobs. The paint job on this one is anime.
The combat with this game is not as carefully crafted and the difficulty is not as meaningful. The enemies are too plentiful and the combat doesn't feel as rewarding. There doesn't seem to be much staggering of the enemies either. Which makes the combat have less weight. I don't feel like me or the enemy are doing much of anything when we clang each other with our weapons but neither one of us reacts.
The environments are bland. I don't care if it's the end of the world, I am playing the game to be entertained. Part of that is having a visually appealing landscape. The cathedral section was kinda cool but it was repetitive. It was also clearly supposed to be Anor Londo.
I wish that there was a bartending mini game in the place where you hang out in between missions. That would be cool to throw rocking parties in there on a whim.
The game is for you if you are a weeb and you want to play dark souls but with the square button to spam instead of R1.
The combat with this game is not as carefully crafted and the difficulty is not as meaningful. The enemies are too plentiful and the combat doesn't feel as rewarding. There doesn't seem to be much staggering of the enemies either. Which makes the combat have less weight. I don't feel like me or the enemy are doing much of anything when we clang each other with our weapons but neither one of us reacts.
The environments are bland. I don't care if it's the end of the world, I am playing the game to be entertained. Part of that is having a visually appealing landscape. The cathedral section was kinda cool but it was repetitive. It was also clearly supposed to be Anor Londo.
I wish that there was a bartending mini game in the place where you hang out in between missions. That would be cool to throw rocking parties in there on a whim.
The game is for you if you are a weeb and you want to play dark souls but with the square button to spam instead of R1.
Comedy Story: Irrational Anger at the Past
Sometimes things from the past get to bothering right as I'm trying to drive down the road. Nobody else is is the car, just me and my thoughts that I do not want to get reacquainted with. The thoughts that I want to leave behind are the ones that make me angry. I don't want to be venting about the past in five lanes of traffic with three overly sensitive soccer moms hovering around my car thinking that my rage is directed at them. Then I get flicked off for no reason. I cut them off in order to pay them back. Then I get pulled over and given a ticket. So fuck me. That didn't really happen, but I think it definitely could.
I act out what I "should have done" in the car to show the situation who was really boss. I put "should have done" in quotation marks because I really did what was best and now am just venting like a madman about it. The "Should have done" stuff is always violent and confrontational. Like thinking that I should have knocked every tooth out of the mouth of the guy that shoved me at a party for no reason. Maybe his teeth would've been really sturdy and sharp. I might have ruined my hands while trying to beat him up. Good thing that I just glared at him and then walked on.
Another place where I get angry at the past is when I'm in the shower. Showers should be for masturbating or sex. Also it's a place where you can get clean. But it should never be a place where you pace back and forth pretending to punch and elbow an cocky ghost from the past. You shouldn't pace in the shower because it is dangerous. The only time when it is safe to pace on a wet surface is when you have on non slip shoes. I don't think anybody in the world is stripping naked and then pacing around the shower in their non slip shoes.
Sometimes when I'm being haunted by the ghosts of former anger and resentment, I haul off and punch something. This is the dumbest thing in the world. I make my living with my personality and my hands. Why would I ever take a chance on messing up one of the only two necessary components of that equation? Because emotion, specifically rage, is a powerful thing. It can make you damage relationships in ways that you never thought imaginable. The first time I ever buzzed my head was because I saw myself in the camera at a McDonald's. I was pissed that I had to wait so long for service that I started looking around and ended up discovering I was going bald. That is some bullshit. Although, now I like being bald because it's really comfortable. But you better believe that I was ranting like a madman when I was buzzing off my hair.
I don't need anger management because I never explode in the moment, I only get angry 3 months later when none of it matters. I just need to continue to give less of a fuck each day that goes by. That's the only solution. I am already on enough pills. I have already wasted enough time "talking to someone." I just need to dig deep into my soul and see that nothing is worth giving a fuck about. Then I'll be happy. I might get devoted enough to this idea that one day someone will find my blog and think that it was my religion/philosophy. But it's not anything new and it certainly wasn't my fresh new idea. Diogenes was busy not giving a fuck long before any of us were a thought. There were probably others just similar to him before he was around.
I act out what I "should have done" in the car to show the situation who was really boss. I put "should have done" in quotation marks because I really did what was best and now am just venting like a madman about it. The "Should have done" stuff is always violent and confrontational. Like thinking that I should have knocked every tooth out of the mouth of the guy that shoved me at a party for no reason. Maybe his teeth would've been really sturdy and sharp. I might have ruined my hands while trying to beat him up. Good thing that I just glared at him and then walked on.
Another place where I get angry at the past is when I'm in the shower. Showers should be for masturbating or sex. Also it's a place where you can get clean. But it should never be a place where you pace back and forth pretending to punch and elbow an cocky ghost from the past. You shouldn't pace in the shower because it is dangerous. The only time when it is safe to pace on a wet surface is when you have on non slip shoes. I don't think anybody in the world is stripping naked and then pacing around the shower in their non slip shoes.
Sometimes when I'm being haunted by the ghosts of former anger and resentment, I haul off and punch something. This is the dumbest thing in the world. I make my living with my personality and my hands. Why would I ever take a chance on messing up one of the only two necessary components of that equation? Because emotion, specifically rage, is a powerful thing. It can make you damage relationships in ways that you never thought imaginable. The first time I ever buzzed my head was because I saw myself in the camera at a McDonald's. I was pissed that I had to wait so long for service that I started looking around and ended up discovering I was going bald. That is some bullshit. Although, now I like being bald because it's really comfortable. But you better believe that I was ranting like a madman when I was buzzing off my hair.
I don't need anger management because I never explode in the moment, I only get angry 3 months later when none of it matters. I just need to continue to give less of a fuck each day that goes by. That's the only solution. I am already on enough pills. I have already wasted enough time "talking to someone." I just need to dig deep into my soul and see that nothing is worth giving a fuck about. Then I'll be happy. I might get devoted enough to this idea that one day someone will find my blog and think that it was my religion/philosophy. But it's not anything new and it certainly wasn't my fresh new idea. Diogenes was busy not giving a fuck long before any of us were a thought. There were probably others just similar to him before he was around.
Shot Glass Thought: Setting Goals, Doing Something
Setting goals is important when it comes to getting something done. Making a plan and doing your best to stick to it is important as well. But the most important thing is actually doing shit. I can plan on being the president of the United States but if I never leave the mountains of North Carolina, then my plan isn't worth a fuck when you're alone. I mean, you won't be fucking anyone if you're alone. I think that makes sense.
When I set a plan, and I've found that mental plans are better than written ones. If I write it down, then it's only to remember it as a mental plan later. But if the plan stays mental the whole time, then I can always be adjusting and working in other factors that perhaps where not a part of the equation before. This is how it is helpful for me.
There one thing that I've been doing that has made me feel better and is also kind of related to this topic. It's laying on my bed and doing deep breathing and then just imagining something really great happening for someone else. I see their reaction and the joy that they experience and it makes me feel good too. This is kind of like keeping a plan mental. I don't need to email my imagined scenario to the person I was thinking of so that we can iron out the details of how they will get to that joy. I can just feel good for a bit and then go back to life. If nothing else happens, then me feeling good for a bit is good enough for me.
When I set a plan, and I've found that mental plans are better than written ones. If I write it down, then it's only to remember it as a mental plan later. But if the plan stays mental the whole time, then I can always be adjusting and working in other factors that perhaps where not a part of the equation before. This is how it is helpful for me.
There one thing that I've been doing that has made me feel better and is also kind of related to this topic. It's laying on my bed and doing deep breathing and then just imagining something really great happening for someone else. I see their reaction and the joy that they experience and it makes me feel good too. This is kind of like keeping a plan mental. I don't need to email my imagined scenario to the person I was thinking of so that we can iron out the details of how they will get to that joy. I can just feel good for a bit and then go back to life. If nothing else happens, then me feeling good for a bit is good enough for me.
Short Funny Story: First Instinct in Emergency? Prostitution
So I was talking to this really sweet, pretty funny girl the other day. Sometimes that happens to me. I don't always just scowl at everyone I pass during my day. Sometimes good things happen and I smile and have a good time. But usually I scowl at everyone that I pass and angrily rant to myself until I can either get to work or get back home. The reason why I'm always so angry? Because I want to get to work already or get back home.
I asked the girl and her friend what they would do if they got in a bad situation and ended up homeless. Without even the slightest pause, the funny one said "Prostitution, yep... yeah definitely prostitution." She went on to elaborate that the world is a fucked up place, but she could be sheltered and taken care of if she got lucky and found a casual pimp. Now Socrates would want to know the exact definition of "casual pimp" and he would not have stopped until we had all arrived at what would probably be a very uncomfortable truth about pimps and hoes. But I let it go, as I imagine she meant a pimp that won't beat or kill you and does pay you enough to survive on.
The other girl said she would try other things before prostitution but honestly, being a hoe probably is one of the best calls for girls stuck on the streets. I mean, if you can't get help from anywhere else and you could starve to death or get killed, then what would you do? Well you would eventually contract STD's. Probably sooner rather than later. I can't imagine there is a super thorough pimp out there that won't let anyone fuck unless they provide papers proving that they have had all their tests done.
I was thinking that I would try to get one of those menial labor jobs and then hopefully buy some warm, sturdy clothes so that I could keep working and have a little more survivability. None of that would matter if I got mauled by a black bear sized rat crawling out of the sewers. So I guess I would need a weapon too. I'm thinking if you're stuck on the streets, you probably do want a gun. I mean, c'mon, we're talking about the most desperate human beings in our world. Don't you think a gun would be pretty handy, or shooty rather when it comes to self preservation?
Anyway, the point is that in this world, there are at least a few young women out there that value their bodies so little that they would willingly forfeit them as their first option in desperation. That was a bit sad to me when I heard it. But life is life is life. My jokes won't fix the way things are. But you did get the chance to imagine a homeless version of me screaming like a bitch and wildly firing a handgun at a black bear sized rat that might explode out of a manhole at any moment. You know that they are down there and so do I. We just have to not talk about it or it will run our lives.
I asked the girl and her friend what they would do if they got in a bad situation and ended up homeless. Without even the slightest pause, the funny one said "Prostitution, yep... yeah definitely prostitution." She went on to elaborate that the world is a fucked up place, but she could be sheltered and taken care of if she got lucky and found a casual pimp. Now Socrates would want to know the exact definition of "casual pimp" and he would not have stopped until we had all arrived at what would probably be a very uncomfortable truth about pimps and hoes. But I let it go, as I imagine she meant a pimp that won't beat or kill you and does pay you enough to survive on.
The other girl said she would try other things before prostitution but honestly, being a hoe probably is one of the best calls for girls stuck on the streets. I mean, if you can't get help from anywhere else and you could starve to death or get killed, then what would you do? Well you would eventually contract STD's. Probably sooner rather than later. I can't imagine there is a super thorough pimp out there that won't let anyone fuck unless they provide papers proving that they have had all their tests done.
I was thinking that I would try to get one of those menial labor jobs and then hopefully buy some warm, sturdy clothes so that I could keep working and have a little more survivability. None of that would matter if I got mauled by a black bear sized rat crawling out of the sewers. So I guess I would need a weapon too. I'm thinking if you're stuck on the streets, you probably do want a gun. I mean, c'mon, we're talking about the most desperate human beings in our world. Don't you think a gun would be pretty handy, or shooty rather when it comes to self preservation?
Anyway, the point is that in this world, there are at least a few young women out there that value their bodies so little that they would willingly forfeit them as their first option in desperation. That was a bit sad to me when I heard it. But life is life is life. My jokes won't fix the way things are. But you did get the chance to imagine a homeless version of me screaming like a bitch and wildly firing a handgun at a black bear sized rat that might explode out of a manhole at any moment. You know that they are down there and so do I. We just have to not talk about it or it will run our lives.
Book Review: Victims of Groupthink (1972)
Well this book will certainly teach you how stupid our government is, if nothing else. Most of the worst military and political blunders that the book goes over all feature a few common elements. The group that precided over all the decisions was composed of a bunch of circle jerking, high fiving morons that didn't even consider the negatives so long as they all felt good about each other.
The book has several relevant pictures, yes I did enjoy them. Thank you for asking. Sometimes I just need something else to look at besides the walls and walls of text that trap my eyes like a prison cell. Though pictures are all in black and white. They aren't the kind of black and white that looks smoky and mysterious. They just look like documentary style photos. So the book loses credit for having boring photos.
The general idea behind the hypothesis presented in the book is that if you are with a group of people that you admire and want to do well with, you will ignore evidence in order to do what the group thinks is best. D.A.R.E. tried to convince us that this was called peer pressure when we were growing up. They wanted to make sure that we didn't start doing drugs or boning because our friends thought it would be cool. But I started doing drugs and boning because I thought it would be awesome. It was awesome! Seems like D.A.R.E. was a campaign against all things awesome.
My copy has a bunch of starring and underlining in it. So somebody thought they were really learning a lot from it. Or maybe I did all that when I was in a scholarly drinking session. Those are rare for me, but they are usually brought on by Scotch.
If you've ever read Ayn Rand then you already know that groups are shit and individuals are the best. This book doesn't find that individuals are the best way to go, but it does show that group ideas and rationalizations will override the individuality of each member of the group.
I think anyone that has ever had to do a group project already knows that groups are shit. Just reduce the amount of workload and giver everyone an assignment on their own. See what we are made of just one to another. Don't test us on how well we can work with other people. Although this book does make me wonder, if you are always making the wrong calls in a group of people that you like, will you ascend to total mastery of the universe if you are in a group with people that you can't stand? I can't stand anyone really, so maybe that's what I need. A group of random people that I can't stand. Or, just a group of random people.
The book has several relevant pictures, yes I did enjoy them. Thank you for asking. Sometimes I just need something else to look at besides the walls and walls of text that trap my eyes like a prison cell. Though pictures are all in black and white. They aren't the kind of black and white that looks smoky and mysterious. They just look like documentary style photos. So the book loses credit for having boring photos.
The general idea behind the hypothesis presented in the book is that if you are with a group of people that you admire and want to do well with, you will ignore evidence in order to do what the group thinks is best. D.A.R.E. tried to convince us that this was called peer pressure when we were growing up. They wanted to make sure that we didn't start doing drugs or boning because our friends thought it would be cool. But I started doing drugs and boning because I thought it would be awesome. It was awesome! Seems like D.A.R.E. was a campaign against all things awesome.
My copy has a bunch of starring and underlining in it. So somebody thought they were really learning a lot from it. Or maybe I did all that when I was in a scholarly drinking session. Those are rare for me, but they are usually brought on by Scotch.
If you've ever read Ayn Rand then you already know that groups are shit and individuals are the best. This book doesn't find that individuals are the best way to go, but it does show that group ideas and rationalizations will override the individuality of each member of the group.
I think anyone that has ever had to do a group project already knows that groups are shit. Just reduce the amount of workload and giver everyone an assignment on their own. See what we are made of just one to another. Don't test us on how well we can work with other people. Although this book does make me wonder, if you are always making the wrong calls in a group of people that you like, will you ascend to total mastery of the universe if you are in a group with people that you can't stand? I can't stand anyone really, so maybe that's what I need. A group of random people that I can't stand. Or, just a group of random people.
Shot Glass Thought: Waking Up Late
I am never happier and more content than when I am waking up around lunchtime each day. I love that time period. I fucking hate mornings. Midday to late night are my preferred times. I think it's mostly because I know that if I have woke up around 12, then I have certainly gotten enough sleep.
I've struggled with mental illness all my life and sleep has been a big part of my struggles. I can recall once when I worked over sixty hours on only 8 hours of sleep total. That was for one week. The next week was a little better but not much. eventually I just tried to accept that I would have to just live that way. I wasn't partying either, I just could not get my body to go to sleep. My body and mind want me dead I think. They want to feed the good, sane part of me to the angry psychotic beast that lurks beneath the surface. The one that makes me tell inappropriate jokes at work all the time. Actually, I'm not sure what category that part of me falls into. But I'm keeping him around anyway.
I get my sleep nowadays because of the pills I take. So if you're having a hard time then go see the doc and get some pills. Don't be an idiot like me and try to tough it out. It will not work. Let's just be okay with a cabinet full of pills instead of an asylum full of crazies.
My YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
I've struggled with mental illness all my life and sleep has been a big part of my struggles. I can recall once when I worked over sixty hours on only 8 hours of sleep total. That was for one week. The next week was a little better but not much. eventually I just tried to accept that I would have to just live that way. I wasn't partying either, I just could not get my body to go to sleep. My body and mind want me dead I think. They want to feed the good, sane part of me to the angry psychotic beast that lurks beneath the surface. The one that makes me tell inappropriate jokes at work all the time. Actually, I'm not sure what category that part of me falls into. But I'm keeping him around anyway.
I get my sleep nowadays because of the pills I take. So if you're having a hard time then go see the doc and get some pills. Don't be an idiot like me and try to tough it out. It will not work. Let's just be okay with a cabinet full of pills instead of an asylum full of crazies.
My YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
Short Funny Story: The Sexiest People at Work
Everyone looks around their work place and thinks about who is the most attractive. We do the same thing in the bar when we are scoping the place out. Scoping out the bar is for who you think you might want to take home to some likely forgettable sex. Work sexiness is for admiration and possible marriage down the road when you two work at different places.
I move that the sexiest people in the workplace are the ones that work the hardest, but complain the least. They are also the ones that get the most done while doing the least amount of damage. Complaining is super un-sexy no matter where you are. The only time where people want to hear complaining is when it is actually comedy in disguise. Can you imagine trying to have sex with a lady that keeps telling you that her pussy is a little more smelly than usual and she thinks it's because she's forgot to do something with the thing and life is just so unfair and blah blah blah. Nah that wouldn't work. Well, I could do it but that's only because I never listen to women.
The rules are different for sexiness in the work place. At the bar, or club or whatever, the only rule is who looks like my type while also looking really slutty. Once you find and talk to the person that meets that criteria, you are set. Set to attempt to woo the person. You will hear no a lot. It's just a part of it. When you are interested, you will show at least accidentally that you are a bit interested and that alone could be enough to derail the whole thing.
Work is about getting things done as well as possible while also doing as little damage/cost in the meantime. The people who are able to do that are doing the best work and they usually happen to also be the hardest workers. I knew this lady that worked her ass off constantly at work. She never did a great job. She always made the least amount of money for the company and she constantly complained. When she couldn't get the most visually appealing man on our staff to bang her she was really shocked and a bit insulted. Instead she had me at the ready because I'm a sadist and I felt like torturing her mentally through a romantic relationship would be the key to her getting what she deserved from life. She wasn't interested though. Oh well, there is always a next time.
My YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
Shot Glass Thought: What Makes Killers?
Shooting enemies in video games is one of the most relaxing and enjoyable things that I can think of. I almost always customize characters to have bonuses towards head shots if that is an option in whatever game I'm playing. Because head shots are rad. I would rather miss my first 7 shots while trying to score one head shot than to hit all the targets in the chest. Chests are big and we can see them from far away. But most heads are pretty small and you have to really focus in order to pop one off of the enemy. Now this kind of talk would disturb the hell out of me if I was talking to a hitman or national hit man. Also known as an underpaid government killer. Or as it is most commonly known, a soldier. The business of killing pays really well I imagine. So when you get your killing training in the military and then go into business in private later on, it's probably pretty lucrative. But I would never know, because I play video games. I've never wanted to shoot anyone and I never will. I hate war and violence, but that doesn't mean that I don't love a good shooting game. I'm 26 now and I've been virtually killing people since I was 16. In 10 years I've never once wanted to harm someone. I think if you looked into more people like me you'd find that we're all the same for the most part. Video games do not make people violent. But the military is designed to teach regular men and women how to be killers. If you think more or less of it than that, then you are missing the point. If you go to war with an army you go into it knowing that people on both sides will die. That's the whole point of military training, everywhere in the world. To make more killers.
my YouYube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
my YouYube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
Shot Glass Thought: Journey is Great; Inner Critic
I don't care how cheesy it may be. There is really only one way to start a work day if you care about doing a good job. You blast Journey all the way to work. Separate ways is dope. Don't stop believing is dope. I'll be alright without you is a bit sad but still is kinda badass if you've ever felt the need to burn a relationship to the ground like I often do. Lovin Touchin Squeezin is rad too. I didn't correctly punctuate any of this shit and if you've been reading my more recent posts, you might have noticed that the grammar and spelling have taken a bit of a hit. This is in response to my inner critic that tells me that how massive a retard I am for making mistakes on basic shit. Well fuck you inner critic. This asshole also thinks that my morning ritual with Journey is stupid. He's an asshole, but sometimes he's right. When I want to follow the guy who cut me off in traffic and then slash his tires while he is picking up his prescriptions in the pharmacy, the inner critic argues really loudly that it's a terrible idea. At the very least he argues that it is a poorly planned idea and that if I really want to go around slashing tires, then I need to invest more time and energy in planning and executing the slashing of tires. So he has his uses.
Video Game Reviews: Golden Sun GBA (2001)
This fucking game was and is great. I don't know which consoles you can play it on. But I know that you can still play it on GBA. That's the ultimate nostalgia gasm for all of us millennials from that particular time segment. This game made you have hope. Even though you were a kid and the twinkle of a good, happy life was still in your eye, this game preserved that twinkle. Whereas something like Superman on the N64 just made you wonder why the world was so cruel and unfair.
The story is rad. It's the expected and typical jrpg style story. Which means that it's perfect. I know it's been said before, but it's not really a jrpg if the main characters don't bond and grow stronger over the course of a long journey and then team up to kill the god of their world, then it's really not a jrpg.
The exploration of the in game continent is rad. Imagine the magic in the eyes of a young babby Austin when I realized I had an entire continent to explore with my ragtag group of pre-teens. They have Ice, Earth, Fire and Wind powers. So basically everything that makes Captain Planet get an erection.
The bosses are rad. The regular enemies are rad too. You also have plenty of towns and dungeons to go walking around. You can capture little magic squirrel/bird things that boost your powers. The game is basically flawless and should have already had a major console release. Oh and the weapons are rad. Almost forgot. The animations of pretty much everything is great. It's either really cute and shows what they were able to accomplish back in the day. Or they are really impressive mini cut scenes that demonstrate the full scope of your badassery.
No surprises here, if you love games then give this one a try. Treat yourself to a fantastic experience that still holds up today as well as it did back when it was new. The timeless experience of enjoying a classic game.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg
The story is rad. It's the expected and typical jrpg style story. Which means that it's perfect. I know it's been said before, but it's not really a jrpg if the main characters don't bond and grow stronger over the course of a long journey and then team up to kill the god of their world, then it's really not a jrpg.
The exploration of the in game continent is rad. Imagine the magic in the eyes of a young babby Austin when I realized I had an entire continent to explore with my ragtag group of pre-teens. They have Ice, Earth, Fire and Wind powers. So basically everything that makes Captain Planet get an erection.
The bosses are rad. The regular enemies are rad too. You also have plenty of towns and dungeons to go walking around. You can capture little magic squirrel/bird things that boost your powers. The game is basically flawless and should have already had a major console release. Oh and the weapons are rad. Almost forgot. The animations of pretty much everything is great. It's either really cute and shows what they were able to accomplish back in the day. Or they are really impressive mini cut scenes that demonstrate the full scope of your badassery.
No surprises here, if you love games then give this one a try. Treat yourself to a fantastic experience that still holds up today as well as it did back when it was new. The timeless experience of enjoying a classic game.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg
Short Funny Story: Advice Sources
Listening to the advice of a friend is totally optional. Friends come in varying degrees of importance and usefulness. If you have a friend that is a lot of fun to hang out with and do....cocaine with. Then this guy or gal might not have the best advice to contribute to your life.
Listening to the advice of your family is totally optional. Some of us have fucked up families. You should still listen to what they are saying out of respect for who they are. But applying it to your life a whole other story. If your family is fucked up, or you are having to listen to advice from a fucked up family member, then you keep looking like you're listening but don't apply the shit. You don't want to end up like them. When people have done fucked up shit in the past, they are pretty likely to do fucked up shit later on.
Listening to the advice of your video game mentor is absolutely essential. Without this wizardly old man or whatever he is in the game that you're playing, you aren't shit. Archsage Athos in Fire Emblem 7 was like that. There was no aspect of the plot that he didn't already know. He acted like he didn't know how the whole game was going to play out, but his every prediction was spot on. So how could he not? Dude was just humble. He verbally guides you through the whole game with cracking good advice. When you get to the final mission, he insists on joining your party so that you have a chance of beating the game. He has seen your squad and knows your stats. He knows that you're ass. He knows that your squad is ass. But the game still has to get beat. So if you saved yourself a Luna tome and you have a couple competent healers, Athos will guide your hips right to the ending credits.
Shot Glass Thought: Older Music is Relative
There are people in this world that act like T-Pain is unimaginably old music. I love the music of Al Bowly. So old is very relative to me. I'd listen to the modern adaptation of ancient Egyptian religious chanting. I'd listen to it and I'd have an opinion on it and that's really all that matters. Can you think of something that you don't have an opinion on? No, because that shit doesn't matter. I can't say that I don't have an opinion on tractors because that would be untrue. I have an uninteresting opinion on tractors because I don't care to know anything about them. So my opinion on tractors is that I don't find them interesting enough to merit learning about. I loved tractors as a kid. I admire people who love tractors. I think there is a simplicity to that sort of living that is very admirable. But I have other things to be doing, like frantically searching the internet for some kind of recreation of ancient Egyptian chanting and rituals. If I can find something in there that sounds like T-Pain then I believe I will have uncovered some universal truth about our world. So, gotta go.
Shot Glass Thought: How Much Apartment Do You Need?
Sometimes all you need to clear your head is a few seconds of motionless groaning on the couch. Everybody needs a couch or a bed that functions as a couch. If you have a couch, then anything can happen. You might make your first moves with your new chick and then when she says "let's take this to the bedroom.." Surprise! Your apartment is smaller than she thought, you guys can fuck right where you are. Now that's the kind of surprise that will tell you how important money is to her. If she couldn't tell that it was a run down studio apartment before, then she knows now. It's not even really a bedroom and a bathroom. It's more like a ....room that has a bed and a toilet. But really, you don't need much more than that.
https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
Comedy Story: Take A Breath Before Reading the News
Take a big deep breath, maybe three before you read the news. Taking deep breaths makes me feel better about anything. I don't know if it releases endorphins, but it feels like it does. When I drink a glass of diet Sunkist, I feel like endorphins must've been released. I feel even better when I take deep breaths. I feel great when I get my check from work. So I don't know where and when the spectrum of feeling begins or ends, but I love feeling good. Because I always feel like shit. That would be why I like the good so much. I always go down this rabbit hole, to the point that now it's more like a rattle snake pit where I occasionally dive in and wrestle the inhabitants. Because I'm immune to their poison after so much exposure I guess. Anyway....
For something that is mandatory when it comes to wanting to know what the world around you is like, this sure is a hard thing to experience. I checked a general news feed, not a search, just a default news page. There were shootings, a rape and enough political nonsense to make anyone puke. I don't know what your politics are, but if you have politics then you are wrong. The idea is to not waste your life on bullshit, c'mon dude!! Or lady. I remember a terrible math teacher that I had once upon a time and she always talked politics. Wow very brave madame Bitch tits, spill your beliefs onto a group of kids that can't possible have a relevant perspective on what you're talking about. This applies to her politics and mathematics.
We have to check the news because we need to know what is going on around us, but we also have to realize that the news is constantly lying to us. There is nobody out there with the benefit of the people as their only concern. Nobody has the best of intentions for us. We ain't shit to nobody.
The general public is the thing that you sell to in order to make a lot of money. You can track them and their interests and sell that information to people that want to sell shit to the general public. You also need them to keep working or else they won't be able to afford anything. Then who would you sell too? Rich people? they don't buy anything that isn't going to make them more money later. Their house, clothes and shoes and even their choice of dinner napkins is calculated to turn over the most roi possible.
It seems like it's impossible for regular people to rise into the ranks of the rich. It feels like it's impossible to compete with the people that are at the top. It feels that way, because that's how it is. We can't hope to topple our modern day money empires because we don't all want to devote our lives to that shit. Most of us would snap after the first few months of the misery and then that would be it. One swan dive off your favorite skyscraper or cliff and you're out of there.
It's better to not be on top of the world. These things that people will die for, riches, glory and fame. It's not worth it. I can tell you that, but it doesn't really mean anything. If you want it, you should at least try for it. Just to experience that part of life. The hunt and pursuit of something greater than yourself. Even if the mission is just all about yourself. I am my favorite topic too, don't feel bad or selfish. Just take a few breaths before you do anything though. Doing so has kept my crazy ass from doing a lot of shit that could have been disastrous.
The kinds of things that put you into the warped, fucked up news feeds that we look at all the time. Take solace in the fact that it's always been this way. Humans are the problem of humans. We've always been raping, killing and enslaving each other. There is just no way around it, humans suck ass.
https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
For something that is mandatory when it comes to wanting to know what the world around you is like, this sure is a hard thing to experience. I checked a general news feed, not a search, just a default news page. There were shootings, a rape and enough political nonsense to make anyone puke. I don't know what your politics are, but if you have politics then you are wrong. The idea is to not waste your life on bullshit, c'mon dude!! Or lady. I remember a terrible math teacher that I had once upon a time and she always talked politics. Wow very brave madame Bitch tits, spill your beliefs onto a group of kids that can't possible have a relevant perspective on what you're talking about. This applies to her politics and mathematics.
We have to check the news because we need to know what is going on around us, but we also have to realize that the news is constantly lying to us. There is nobody out there with the benefit of the people as their only concern. Nobody has the best of intentions for us. We ain't shit to nobody.
The general public is the thing that you sell to in order to make a lot of money. You can track them and their interests and sell that information to people that want to sell shit to the general public. You also need them to keep working or else they won't be able to afford anything. Then who would you sell too? Rich people? they don't buy anything that isn't going to make them more money later. Their house, clothes and shoes and even their choice of dinner napkins is calculated to turn over the most roi possible.
It seems like it's impossible for regular people to rise into the ranks of the rich. It feels like it's impossible to compete with the people that are at the top. It feels that way, because that's how it is. We can't hope to topple our modern day money empires because we don't all want to devote our lives to that shit. Most of us would snap after the first few months of the misery and then that would be it. One swan dive off your favorite skyscraper or cliff and you're out of there.
It's better to not be on top of the world. These things that people will die for, riches, glory and fame. It's not worth it. I can tell you that, but it doesn't really mean anything. If you want it, you should at least try for it. Just to experience that part of life. The hunt and pursuit of something greater than yourself. Even if the mission is just all about yourself. I am my favorite topic too, don't feel bad or selfish. Just take a few breaths before you do anything though. Doing so has kept my crazy ass from doing a lot of shit that could have been disastrous.
The kinds of things that put you into the warped, fucked up news feeds that we look at all the time. Take solace in the fact that it's always been this way. Humans are the problem of humans. We've always been raping, killing and enslaving each other. There is just no way around it, humans suck ass.
https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
Shot Glass Thought: Being The Lion
I am a Leo. That means more to me than some of the other things that I have been called. All of the more memorable ones are not really repeatable because they require to much context. Don't worry, I'll eventually be divulging all of my awful dating experiences. I am usually the asshole that poops all over the relationship.
It all started when I decided that words really do have meaning and that we should observe and appreciate that meaning. Words like "I love you" should mean something. IF someone lays those words on you but doesn't contribute the necessary actions to prove the words are true, then they really need to have their every insecurity thrown in their face in the most vitriolic way possible.
That's obviously not true. Unless they deserve it. Then it's the only absolute truth in the universe. We are the kings and queens of our lives. We deserve better than to be lied to. If the best thing in the world really is love, then what kind of person lies about it? A pretty shit one in my opinion. I'm not of the mind to forget, but I'll forgive just about anything. I don't want to see some of the people I've forgiven ever again, but that doesn't mean that I wake up everyday in a heated rage panting about how I hate their guts. That stage usually wraps up within the first few months after the breakup.
https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
It all started when I decided that words really do have meaning and that we should observe and appreciate that meaning. Words like "I love you" should mean something. IF someone lays those words on you but doesn't contribute the necessary actions to prove the words are true, then they really need to have their every insecurity thrown in their face in the most vitriolic way possible.
That's obviously not true. Unless they deserve it. Then it's the only absolute truth in the universe. We are the kings and queens of our lives. We deserve better than to be lied to. If the best thing in the world really is love, then what kind of person lies about it? A pretty shit one in my opinion. I'm not of the mind to forget, but I'll forgive just about anything. I don't want to see some of the people I've forgiven ever again, but that doesn't mean that I wake up everyday in a heated rage panting about how I hate their guts. That stage usually wraps up within the first few months after the breakup.
https://www.youtube.com/user/eyegotskill
Video Game Review: Mass Effect 3 WiiU (2012)
This is only a recent pickup for me as I was playing the entire trilogy on Xbox 360 back in the day.
The Mass Effect series has always appealed to me because it allows you to make friends with people that don't exist, who will love you unconditionally and will die for you if you ask them to. I mean, if that's not the highest quality escapism, then I don't know what is. You can even have sex with a bisexual blue alien lady. I'm still looking for someone out there to enact that fantasy with me in real life.
This one is the final entry in the trilogy of ME games. But the rest of the series cannot be played on WiiU. So the experience as a whole is greatly diminished. But if you take the game for it's own merits, it's still pretty fun.
I love playing multiplayer in this game. It's a repetitive ass horde mode that nobody plays anymore. I'm serious, I've played with the same four people that still play this game on this console. The WiiU is a dead console but seriously. There are only five of us out here still trying to win the war. But it's still fun.
The shooting sounds and feels great on every gun. The powers are awesome and figuring out how to build your character in order to do the most damage possible is a great time. The main story has amazing music and plenty of great missions. The reapers feel unstoppable, like an unknowable force from deep space that rains down terror on the masses. That's because they are that, but just saying it is not enough. These are enemies that we waited to duke it out with for 2 other long ass games. They are awesome and always a pleasure to kill.
Some of you have heard about the crappy ending. I don't really care about the ending, because I loved the games for what they were on their own. I only play games to have fun. This is a fun game with a disappointing ending. But if you didn't take the time to get to know all of the characters and love them with all your heart, then the ending will not matter. You'll just have enjoyed a really good game. So take my word for what it's worth and give this classic a revisit. If you want to play with me on WiiU then my tag is legendoeddiebob. It's a really stupid name but it always makes me laugh when I say it out loud.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
The Mass Effect series has always appealed to me because it allows you to make friends with people that don't exist, who will love you unconditionally and will die for you if you ask them to. I mean, if that's not the highest quality escapism, then I don't know what is. You can even have sex with a bisexual blue alien lady. I'm still looking for someone out there to enact that fantasy with me in real life.
This one is the final entry in the trilogy of ME games. But the rest of the series cannot be played on WiiU. So the experience as a whole is greatly diminished. But if you take the game for it's own merits, it's still pretty fun.
I love playing multiplayer in this game. It's a repetitive ass horde mode that nobody plays anymore. I'm serious, I've played with the same four people that still play this game on this console. The WiiU is a dead console but seriously. There are only five of us out here still trying to win the war. But it's still fun.
The shooting sounds and feels great on every gun. The powers are awesome and figuring out how to build your character in order to do the most damage possible is a great time. The main story has amazing music and plenty of great missions. The reapers feel unstoppable, like an unknowable force from deep space that rains down terror on the masses. That's because they are that, but just saying it is not enough. These are enemies that we waited to duke it out with for 2 other long ass games. They are awesome and always a pleasure to kill.
Some of you have heard about the crappy ending. I don't really care about the ending, because I loved the games for what they were on their own. I only play games to have fun. This is a fun game with a disappointing ending. But if you didn't take the time to get to know all of the characters and love them with all your heart, then the ending will not matter. You'll just have enjoyed a really good game. So take my word for what it's worth and give this classic a revisit. If you want to play with me on WiiU then my tag is legendoeddiebob. It's a really stupid name but it always makes me laugh when I say it out loud.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Shot Glass Thoughts: Waiting For Assistance
I find myself getting drunk when I don't want to anything else besides get drunk. Upon arriving at shit faced town is when I really want to go across town and get a bunch of shit done. I can't tolerate being alive is why I like to get drunk like this. I think if you don't understand where I'm coming from, then you haven't suffered nearly enough yet in life. Life is hard and there is just no way around that. No matter how good work is going, no matter how passionate you might be about what you're doing, you could still be pining for the chance to blow your brains out at any time.
That's just how life is, I go to work and spread laughter and smiles all day. And approximately 17 minutes after I leave work I start to feel like I should probably just off myself. It doesn't matter how I do it, it just matters that I think about it every day and that it doesn't matter. If it did or does matter, I wouldn't know. because I can't understand love, forgiveness or leading a meaningful life. All I know is that I've never been a okay and in the meantime I want to make people laugh about that.
So you could say that I'm waiting on assistance. I really want to go across town to Mcdonald's and then pick up some cream cicle ice cream for my apartment. But I don't want to drink and drive because that would end up killing someone else. I only want me to die. At least, that's what probably more than half of my psyche is telling me. "Maybe you should talk to someone?" Nah I don't want to waste their time. "But that's why they are there!" I don't care how other people choose to waste their life, I only want to tell jokes about my penis and play the Mass Effect trilogy over and over until they make another good one.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
That's just how life is, I go to work and spread laughter and smiles all day. And approximately 17 minutes after I leave work I start to feel like I should probably just off myself. It doesn't matter how I do it, it just matters that I think about it every day and that it doesn't matter. If it did or does matter, I wouldn't know. because I can't understand love, forgiveness or leading a meaningful life. All I know is that I've never been a okay and in the meantime I want to make people laugh about that.
So you could say that I'm waiting on assistance. I really want to go across town to Mcdonald's and then pick up some cream cicle ice cream for my apartment. But I don't want to drink and drive because that would end up killing someone else. I only want me to die. At least, that's what probably more than half of my psyche is telling me. "Maybe you should talk to someone?" Nah I don't want to waste their time. "But that's why they are there!" I don't care how other people choose to waste their life, I only want to tell jokes about my penis and play the Mass Effect trilogy over and over until they make another good one.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Video Game Reviews: House of The Dead 2 and 3 Return Wii (2008)
I can't believe I didn't play this game sooner. It is so much fun and is exactly what I was looking for on my Wii. Before anybody moans and groans, yes the controls are perfect and arcade quality. But also better than arcade quality if you went to an arcade back in the day that had a bunch of kids in there always throwing things and breaking things. Little shits. I am not an arcade repair man, I don't know how to re-calibrate a snapped in half plastic uzi.
Do you like to partake in the old rooty tooty point and shooty? Well do you like to point your shooter at NINJA FUCKING ZOMBIES? These aren't ninjas that are fucking zombies. They are zombie ninjas. How can anyone not want to shoot that? If there is a porno where ninjas fuck zombie broads then WHY haven't I wacked off to that yet? It sounds awesome! Maybe now is the time when most people would feel shame, but I've been alive and miserable too long for any of that.
The game is hard as fuck and you will only really enjoy the experience of playing it if you play with a friend. I was playing with a close friend of mine and we both had a blast, got frustrated, planned on quitting and then played some more. We went through that cycle like 3 times before the night was out. I had a great time. I think he got tired of me blaming all of our game overs on him. That's my bad, the game is hard enough without having the one person that's on your side turn on you.
The graphics and sound look fine. Don't be such a pampered little pussy. You don't need to be able to zoom in on every HD screenshot of zombie boogers in order to know if you're having fun playing the game or not. The voice acting is hilarious and the gameplay is fast paced. There are fuck tons of zombies. What else could you want? For you father to come back home with that pack of cigarettes that he went out to get 12 years ago? Well it's not gonna happen but this game did happen. And playing it should happen to you!
The boss fights are a big plus as well. I love the crazy movements of the first boss. He fights like the grooviest dancing monster thing at the club. He doesn't buy drinks for anyone, they just buy drinks for him and slip him ecstacy when he looks like he's about to pass out. Fucking wild man, party machine monster.
I recommend the game if you couldn't tell. If you can't tolerate seeing a game over screen then you are a pussy. But you also probably won't like this game. So just save your money. But if you aren't a pussy then definitely give this energetic old classic a try.
Click here to check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Do you like to partake in the old rooty tooty point and shooty? Well do you like to point your shooter at NINJA FUCKING ZOMBIES? These aren't ninjas that are fucking zombies. They are zombie ninjas. How can anyone not want to shoot that? If there is a porno where ninjas fuck zombie broads then WHY haven't I wacked off to that yet? It sounds awesome! Maybe now is the time when most people would feel shame, but I've been alive and miserable too long for any of that.
The game is hard as fuck and you will only really enjoy the experience of playing it if you play with a friend. I was playing with a close friend of mine and we both had a blast, got frustrated, planned on quitting and then played some more. We went through that cycle like 3 times before the night was out. I had a great time. I think he got tired of me blaming all of our game overs on him. That's my bad, the game is hard enough without having the one person that's on your side turn on you.
The graphics and sound look fine. Don't be such a pampered little pussy. You don't need to be able to zoom in on every HD screenshot of zombie boogers in order to know if you're having fun playing the game or not. The voice acting is hilarious and the gameplay is fast paced. There are fuck tons of zombies. What else could you want? For you father to come back home with that pack of cigarettes that he went out to get 12 years ago? Well it's not gonna happen but this game did happen. And playing it should happen to you!
The boss fights are a big plus as well. I love the crazy movements of the first boss. He fights like the grooviest dancing monster thing at the club. He doesn't buy drinks for anyone, they just buy drinks for him and slip him ecstacy when he looks like he's about to pass out. Fucking wild man, party machine monster.
I recommend the game if you couldn't tell. If you can't tolerate seeing a game over screen then you are a pussy. But you also probably won't like this game. So just save your money. But if you aren't a pussy then definitely give this energetic old classic a try.
Click here to check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Movie Review: Event Horizon (1997)
First of all, the movie has Laurence Fishbourne and Sam Neil in it. That should be enough to make any film fan weak in the knees. Imagine if the movie would have been Jurassic Park meets The Matrix in SPACE! Now that would have been a sure fire hit.
So I've heard, like everyone else on the internet, that the movie is highly edited from it's original cut. They took out a lot of the horrible maiming and mutilation. Well, I agree with that decision. I don't give a fuck about the artist's original vision if the original vision would have made the movie harder to watch.
What important meaning am I supposed to surmise from a bunch of glorified gore and gross out shit? I've seen the movie clown movie from 2017 I think where the clown smears shit all over a restaurant bathroom before going on a killing rampage. I didn't find any meaning in that movie and I don't think there is any meaning in the suffering of humans in general. So yeah, I'm pretty much a Philosopher today. Eat your heart out, ......college. Yeah, mother fucking college can suck it.
There were several times where all I could think was "what a beautifully shot movie." Such a variety of things to look at on what I would normally imagine to be a bland office style workplace. I mean, it's a space ship designed for people to travel to the edge of Hell in or some shit like that. I wouldn't imagine that there would be a whole lot of creativity needed in the interior designing of a ship like that. But they came through with it anyway.
The Doctor and his wife keep meeting in weird places and she usually scares the shit out of him. The ship becomes possessed by the Devil or something like that and everyone on board is at risk of having a flashback to their evil, worse times and deeds.
Eventually the ship turns one of the characters into a slashier version of Pinhead from Hellraiser. He's all hyped to go show everyone what Hell is like. How are there any characters evil enough to be hyped about the trip to Hell? Wouldn't any sort of visit to Hell suck? No matter how evil and sadistic you are, or who you know there, I doubt anybody really enjoys an eternity of torture and evil. Maybe that's just me.
Anyway, I had a flashback of my own while watching the movie. It was to a time when I really believed that life would just get better and better. But it turns out that I was just spinning my wheels and I'm just as alone as I always thought. Maybe that's how Morgan Freeman feels in the world of professional voice over. Can't say for sure, I don't know the guy. Anyway, I recommend the movie, it was pretty good.
Click here to check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
So I've heard, like everyone else on the internet, that the movie is highly edited from it's original cut. They took out a lot of the horrible maiming and mutilation. Well, I agree with that decision. I don't give a fuck about the artist's original vision if the original vision would have made the movie harder to watch.
What important meaning am I supposed to surmise from a bunch of glorified gore and gross out shit? I've seen the movie clown movie from 2017 I think where the clown smears shit all over a restaurant bathroom before going on a killing rampage. I didn't find any meaning in that movie and I don't think there is any meaning in the suffering of humans in general. So yeah, I'm pretty much a Philosopher today. Eat your heart out, ......college. Yeah, mother fucking college can suck it.
There were several times where all I could think was "what a beautifully shot movie." Such a variety of things to look at on what I would normally imagine to be a bland office style workplace. I mean, it's a space ship designed for people to travel to the edge of Hell in or some shit like that. I wouldn't imagine that there would be a whole lot of creativity needed in the interior designing of a ship like that. But they came through with it anyway.
The Doctor and his wife keep meeting in weird places and she usually scares the shit out of him. The ship becomes possessed by the Devil or something like that and everyone on board is at risk of having a flashback to their evil, worse times and deeds.
Eventually the ship turns one of the characters into a slashier version of Pinhead from Hellraiser. He's all hyped to go show everyone what Hell is like. How are there any characters evil enough to be hyped about the trip to Hell? Wouldn't any sort of visit to Hell suck? No matter how evil and sadistic you are, or who you know there, I doubt anybody really enjoys an eternity of torture and evil. Maybe that's just me.
Anyway, I had a flashback of my own while watching the movie. It was to a time when I really believed that life would just get better and better. But it turns out that I was just spinning my wheels and I'm just as alone as I always thought. Maybe that's how Morgan Freeman feels in the world of professional voice over. Can't say for sure, I don't know the guy. Anyway, I recommend the movie, it was pretty good.
Click here to check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Movie Review: Joker (2019)
What a lame movie, where was Batman? If you like movies with Batman in them, then you should watch Lego Batman instead. Another plus from watching that movie over this one is that you won't want to paint your face like a clown and then blow your own brains out as the credits roll.
Can't believe a guy named Joker never made any funny jokes. I went to the movie hoping to steal some really good jokes to reuse on here but now I just have to review the movie. What a let down.
Who was the romance in the movie designed for? A fucking detective? I didn't realize that people could film scenes in their heads that aren't really happening. That must take up a lot of whatever the brain considers to be CPU. Probably part of the reason why the guy was so angry all the time.
So his mother didn't care about him, and then he kills her. What the shit? If you're a middle child like me then you already know that nobody cares about you. That doesn't mean that we're gonna make the next Thanksgiving look like a Mafia shootout.
So he had a hard time with his pills and the system let him down. Well, nah yeah that's pretty much how it is. He reacted the way you should if you're a mentally ill, abused child, cigarette addict. The cigarettes might have been his only real issue. He smoked enough to get lung cancer in this one movie. Imagine if there is a sequel. I wonder if having a complete lunatic smoke cigarettes for the entirety of your blockbuster movie is good for cigarette sales. Like "Hey I want to be just like that guy!"
Movie blew. Not a funny movie, or full of fight scenes with Batman. There was no Harley Quinn either. Of course, I guess if you like learning a little something more about the human condition then you might like this movie. I guess if you wanted to witness the desperation and hopelessness of losing your mind first hand, then you might take away a meaningful experience away from this movie. Idk, I had to watch golden retriever videos on YouTube for 2 hours after the movie just to keep from curling into a ball and weeping. Sometimes I hug the covers in a big bunch and pretend like I'm hugging an actual golden retriever. I'll explain my fixation with goldens in a later entry. Anyway, have a good one.
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Can't believe a guy named Joker never made any funny jokes. I went to the movie hoping to steal some really good jokes to reuse on here but now I just have to review the movie. What a let down.
Who was the romance in the movie designed for? A fucking detective? I didn't realize that people could film scenes in their heads that aren't really happening. That must take up a lot of whatever the brain considers to be CPU. Probably part of the reason why the guy was so angry all the time.
So his mother didn't care about him, and then he kills her. What the shit? If you're a middle child like me then you already know that nobody cares about you. That doesn't mean that we're gonna make the next Thanksgiving look like a Mafia shootout.
So he had a hard time with his pills and the system let him down. Well, nah yeah that's pretty much how it is. He reacted the way you should if you're a mentally ill, abused child, cigarette addict. The cigarettes might have been his only real issue. He smoked enough to get lung cancer in this one movie. Imagine if there is a sequel. I wonder if having a complete lunatic smoke cigarettes for the entirety of your blockbuster movie is good for cigarette sales. Like "Hey I want to be just like that guy!"
Movie blew. Not a funny movie, or full of fight scenes with Batman. There was no Harley Quinn either. Of course, I guess if you like learning a little something more about the human condition then you might like this movie. I guess if you wanted to witness the desperation and hopelessness of losing your mind first hand, then you might take away a meaningful experience away from this movie. Idk, I had to watch golden retriever videos on YouTube for 2 hours after the movie just to keep from curling into a ball and weeping. Sometimes I hug the covers in a big bunch and pretend like I'm hugging an actual golden retriever. I'll explain my fixation with goldens in a later entry. Anyway, have a good one.
Click here to check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
A Few Minutes of My Time #3
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Short Funny Story: Female Opinions Do Not Matter
Okay so neither do male opinions. I picked this title because I thought it had a better chance of pissing someone off. If one thing pisses one person off, then it usually makes another one laugh. Everything that I say and write is to make people laugh, it's a simple life.
What men think of women is useless. What women think of men is useless. We are going to fuck each other regardless of our idiotic opinions. If you read magazines, Internet articles or watch videos about better understanding the opposite gender, then you are wasting your life.
Women come and go. Hopefully they've also been cumming and going, but that's just a cheap joke. Your wife or husband is not the perfect one that you love forever, they are the one that you'll just try to be with forever. You'll love that person for a very small percentage of the time you two are together. Don't believe me? Ask one of the millions of recently divorced people.
So if all you want from life is to have a good job, wife and kids then go for it. But just know that you have sacrificed your inner dreamer. You never took the chance to be that one thing that you really wanted to be and that's cowardly.
Additionally, if you are a woman and all you want is to have children but you still put yourself through a huge career, that's cowardly too. If you can honestly say that your ultimate dream is to be a family man or woman, then be that. But don't try to also be career focused.
The default answer for a man or a woman is always the wrong answer. More people need to take the time to try and be what they really want to be. I know this issue is deeper than how I've treated it. But I've written this in the server station at my work on a slow day. We all have our limitations, mine is gainful employment.
Shot Glass Thought: Running With The Devil
Van Halen is not a group that I am all that familiar with. But I do know that they have at least one masterpiece. Running With The Devil is an amazing song. Any broad on Tinder with that as their anthem is the broad for me. What's that? They don't like that term anymore? Well I don't fucking like Snapchat but if we're gonna see each other naked before we're in person, it's really the only way to go. Do you want me to arrange a PowerPoint demonstration detailing all the different angles and features of my peeder and then email it to you with a discreet subject line like "Business Proposal"? No, you want a quick, out of focus snapshot of what might be my dong. This is the world we live in.
Shot Glass Thought: Could've Been a Cornerback
I was just thinking about the time that I wanted to play football. I wanted so badly to be a cornerback, that's CORNERBACK. The all caps is because my uncle, father and mother all yelled at me saying that I could wish and dream all that I want, I would never be a quarterback. I already knew that, and didn't care because I wanted to intercept the ball. I wanted to return punts for touchdowns and work on being the quickest, fastest guy on the field. I had played soccer all my life to that point and defense was already my specialty. I thought that my goal of becoming a cornerback was a reasonable one. I was also really small and weak. But also really fast and had good instincts. So anyway, I should have just went for it and not communicated with anyone but myself and my coaches. I did intercept our quarterback once in practice and he hit me so hard for doing so that my helmet came off. Then he tried to help me up and tell me what a good read it was, but I was knocked unconscious. No checks for concussion, they just woke me up and set me playing again. It's tough being a kid. Besides that I was constantly being made fun of at school for making good grades. Constantly being nagged to work harder at school when I was at home. I don't miss that part of life one bit. Guess I should be thankful, all of that bullshit did make me into one hell of a bartender.
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Click here if you want to check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriberartender.
Short Funny Story: The Tech Guy For the Family
My family believed that just because I could hook up an N64 console as a kid that I would be an IT professional by the time I was... pretty much the age that I am now. I am a bartender instead, and I definitely made the right call between the two options. Sure the IT guy might make more money than me, but his life sucks. My life is great. I get to wake up pretty much whenever I want, there are no women that want a guy that won't commit to anything so I always have time to spend on things that actually matter. I'm saying that spending all your time on trying to get a mate that you'll hate in 7 months is a waste of time. Just to clarify.
It is not that hard, and definitely not impressive to have a child that can hook up an N64. It's like 3 cables, 2 button presses and the flip of a switch. Not prodigy level stuff there. They told me that it was prodigy level stuff, and that made me into an arrogant kid. Being arrogant made life harder, so I should not have been told that I was super smart. Because I'm not. Thank God I finally know that and can just keep to my cocktail recipes and video games and dick jokes.
It was nice to have someone who could hook things up and be able to talk with customer service when things broke. Nice for my family, not nice for me as I was that person. Customer service reps do not want to talk to a child. Especially not a little shit who has been told that he is a technological genius because he learned how to reset the Wi-fi.
My father is an experienced, life long residential electrician. My mother has a Master's degree. How was it that I had to fix every electronic and piece of technology across my entire adolescence? Those are the resumes of two pretty smart people. My dad is good with his hands and my mom could obviously read. So why did all the repairs always fall on me? Because it was something that they were unfamiliar with. My dad can barely type 10 wpm and my mother went through all of college without ever using a computer. So technology scared them. Like the first cave man that was killed via stoning for his mastery of fire. I was the one who mastered the VCR.
Well it was good that they gave me that to do. I did enjoy fixing our family tech and it gave me a sense of approval and capability. Even though sometimes there was unfair blaming and insistence that I call customer service again even though I had no clue what to do next, and the agents refused to speak with a child. But that prepared me for the unfairness of life. Where all you have are two groups of ignorant, unrelated people yelling at you to do something when you've already done all that you can do. There is always some bullshitter that just believes "intuitively" I suppose that there is more that can be done. No matter how hard you try, there will always be more shit to do for some asshole.
I learned a lot by always being Mr. Fix it for my family. But I never learned how much is the right amount of bleach to use when cleaning the fucking bathroom. I must've used 200% of what's needed because my entire apartment stinks of it and I might pass out soon. It's fucking horrendous.
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It is not that hard, and definitely not impressive to have a child that can hook up an N64. It's like 3 cables, 2 button presses and the flip of a switch. Not prodigy level stuff there. They told me that it was prodigy level stuff, and that made me into an arrogant kid. Being arrogant made life harder, so I should not have been told that I was super smart. Because I'm not. Thank God I finally know that and can just keep to my cocktail recipes and video games and dick jokes.
It was nice to have someone who could hook things up and be able to talk with customer service when things broke. Nice for my family, not nice for me as I was that person. Customer service reps do not want to talk to a child. Especially not a little shit who has been told that he is a technological genius because he learned how to reset the Wi-fi.
My father is an experienced, life long residential electrician. My mother has a Master's degree. How was it that I had to fix every electronic and piece of technology across my entire adolescence? Those are the resumes of two pretty smart people. My dad is good with his hands and my mom could obviously read. So why did all the repairs always fall on me? Because it was something that they were unfamiliar with. My dad can barely type 10 wpm and my mother went through all of college without ever using a computer. So technology scared them. Like the first cave man that was killed via stoning for his mastery of fire. I was the one who mastered the VCR.
Well it was good that they gave me that to do. I did enjoy fixing our family tech and it gave me a sense of approval and capability. Even though sometimes there was unfair blaming and insistence that I call customer service again even though I had no clue what to do next, and the agents refused to speak with a child. But that prepared me for the unfairness of life. Where all you have are two groups of ignorant, unrelated people yelling at you to do something when you've already done all that you can do. There is always some bullshitter that just believes "intuitively" I suppose that there is more that can be done. No matter how hard you try, there will always be more shit to do for some asshole.
I learned a lot by always being Mr. Fix it for my family. But I never learned how much is the right amount of bleach to use when cleaning the fucking bathroom. I must've used 200% of what's needed because my entire apartment stinks of it and I might pass out soon. It's fucking horrendous.
Click here if you want to check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Shot Glass Thought: Feet are Disgusting
So yeah just like the title says, feet are really gross. They smell bad, they are sore. Sometimes they develop sores. I can't stand feet. If you fuck them up somehow, well too bad, you still have to stand on them all the time.
I have fucked up my feet and at this point I'm feeling like I've fucked everything else up in life too. I should probably become a life guru. That's what you do when you've failed at everything else right? You just pretend like everything is great and then charge people for your brand of bullshit.
Speaking of bullshit, this blog is devoted to it. I'm covering books, video games and movies. All the shit that you could ever need to distract you from your life. Almost to the point that distracting yourself from life becomes your life. That was not profound. Because it was bullshit.
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I have fucked up my feet and at this point I'm feeling like I've fucked everything else up in life too. I should probably become a life guru. That's what you do when you've failed at everything else right? You just pretend like everything is great and then charge people for your brand of bullshit.
Speaking of bullshit, this blog is devoted to it. I'm covering books, video games and movies. All the shit that you could ever need to distract you from your life. Almost to the point that distracting yourself from life becomes your life. That was not profound. Because it was bullshit.
Click here if you want to check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Comedy Story: Travel is Overrated
Travel is overrated for people like me who hate travel. If you know that you are like me then do not listen to the boobs out there that want you to spend all your money going places where you don't want to go. Just stay home.
I spend most of my time working. If I were to travel then I would be spending all my time working, so that I could have enough money to go somewhere that is not my home. But all I really want is to go back home. I don't want to party all night, or hook up with some wild broad and live dangerously, I want to go home.
"But it's an experience that will widen your horizons!!" or some shit like that. You know what else broadens your horizons? Reading a fucking book. There are so many books in the world, if you read a tenth of a tenth of a percent of them your horizons would be fucking huge. And you'd never have to see any of what you read about in person because humans have this really cool feature preinstalled called an imagination.
Travel is expensive, the library is free as long as you're not one of those dumbasses that doesn't return the books on time. How fucking hard is it to keep the receipt that they give you and just read it ever so often so that you'll know when to return what is not yours? It's not that fucking hard.
Most of the people who rave about how great travel is actually have a miserable time traveling. But they spend so much money on it that they have to try and convince themselves that it wasn't totally miserable. You have to do something in order for the buyer's remorse to not take over your life.
Yes you might meet the love of your life, but you also might never fall in love and be out $2,800. OR a whole lot more than just $2,800. You could be out $2,800 and have herpes. That would be way worse that just staying home and watching a basketball game Friday night. Then ignore your alarm and sleep in all day on Saturday. That is what you call an unbeatable combo.
In all honesty, you should travel if you want to travel. I'm not going to stop you. I'm not going to stop anyone from doing anything. I want to be one of those guys that starts a blog and then becomes a millionaire from it and then just pretends to care about things online when in reality I masturbate 12 times a day and have a gym membership just to hit on girls.
One of the best experiences of my life happened because I wasn't yet aware of how miserable travel is and I went to Denmark and met somebody who would I now consider family and love very much. So if you think you should travel maybe you should. But if you have a miserable time don't lie about it to yourself or anyone else.
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Shot Glass Thought: Your Sign
If I had punched everyone in the face that ever told me about their sign, my hands would be shattered to pieces. I'd be lugging around two useless, clumps of flesh and bone. Yes I am a Leo and I suppose that is explanation enough for why I am hogging all the attention. But do you really think that that is all that there is to knowing people? I don't match up with these types of people because they are pretty fucking stupid. I'm cynical and a dick. I get it, but I don't think that has anything to do with the fucking moon. If I spoke about mystic shit like astrology the way the some people do, I would be committed. If you're into that stuff, then for fucks sake, leave me out of it. Unless you're an Aries, in which case would you like to get a drink later?
Shot Glass Thought: Ideas That Aren't Getting Used, Preachers
I prefer to jot ideas down on scrap pieces of paper and then pile them up in highly noticeable stacks. I like to move the stack to a different part of my apartment and plan on doing something with the material in there but then never do anything with it actually.
Sometimes I like to drive to work listening to Buddhist meditation radio on Pandora and then somewhere about halfway I scream my fucking lungs out as loud as I can for irony's sake. Or maybe for irony's sake. I mean the rice wine, it was a bad joke. I don't know if Eastern religious folks have fake ass drunk preachers the way we do. I'm not judging, I'm just saying what the literal truth is. Some preachers are fake ass drunks. Some preachers are good at what they do, and we appreciate them. But some of them are as sober a mind as I am when I turn on my psychic powers training manual on audible.
Sometimes I like to drive to work listening to Buddhist meditation radio on Pandora and then somewhere about halfway I scream my fucking lungs out as loud as I can for irony's sake. Or maybe for irony's sake. I mean the rice wine, it was a bad joke. I don't know if Eastern religious folks have fake ass drunk preachers the way we do. I'm not judging, I'm just saying what the literal truth is. Some preachers are fake ass drunks. Some preachers are good at what they do, and we appreciate them. But some of them are as sober a mind as I am when I turn on my psychic powers training manual on audible.
Comedy Story: Blogging is Stupid
Not going to lie to you all, blogging is pretty fucking stupid. I find myself juggling ideas like "how do I make a giant tomato monster bust into a burger joint for some ironic revenge?" That's the kind of thing that means you are wasting your life by most estimations.
The blog makes me work harder than ever before at my day job because I am hoping to do something that matters somewhere else than inside of my apartment. I'm always writing in the dark with a hood on, nobody comes over because nobody wants to. I take a jerk off break every 45 minutes or so. Kind of fucks up the actual workflow. And leads to a non insignificant level of soreness.
Blogging is a very isolating experience. Sure it's practice for what I want to spend the rest of my life on, but being alone with it all the time reminds me of how alone I am in this life. I'm not too keen on being alone with my thoughts when they stray into the territory of "Why do I go on living this unexamined life?" I prefer to giggle to myself about the prospects of a Godzilla sized taco fighting a Godzilla sized tofu taco.
But I can't always get to that realm. Sometimes I'm stuck in the bullshit world of not wanting to go anywhere, do anything, but still thinking about what I should do, or should be doing. Then regretting it all but doing nothing. So, I'm wasting my fucking time thinking about how I'm wasting my fucking time. And in the end, mostly just wasting my fucking seed and my fucking tissues.
I am proud of my blog and I've enjoyed writing it for the most part. Sometimes I wish I could do more than just make a few people laugh on the internet. Maybe I could solve world hunger by building a two Godzilla sized tacos, one of ground beef and the other of tofu. I could accomplish two great goals, put on the greatest show ever witnessed and feed millions of starving people. Then all the inadequacy issues that have haunted me my whole life would just waft away. Nothing like an impossible fantasy to distract you from your crushing reality.
At first I was trying to monetize this thing and then try to make my living at it. But that just seems impossible honestly. Nobody wants to click a fucking clickbank link. Nobody wants to try any of that shit and I don't feel good about pushing it on people. I'm the only one that has clicked my Amazon ads and that was only to make sure that they were working. So maybe I need a new strategy for that kind of thing. Or maybe I should just write jokes and shut the fuck up about money. If someone thinks that I'm good enough, then I'll get paid. I'm not good or experienced enough yet, so that hasn't happened. There is no point in me trying to hork worthless shit onto my audience like a sleazy used car salesman.
I was hoping that this blog could be one aspect of my body of work as a comedian. I think it still will, because I have already made up my mind to devote the rest of my life to comedy and show business. I love laughter and making people laugh is my only goal. So if I stopped the blog it would not fix anything or make me feel any better about anything, it would be totally stupid. But a voice inside of me does say "Nah just quit dude, you suck we both know it." By that logic, if I really wanted to lose weight I guess I'd blog from a communist nation or the third world. Maybe starving to death would help me to appreciate my world a little better.
I'm not going to stop writing on this blog. I love it and I appreciate the people who read it. I have been in a rut like you wouldn't believe lately, so here's to getting out of that. If I can't climb out of it on my own, I'll go to the old stand by, 3 White Russians in the morning and 4 rounds of Scotch at night. Good night, Miss, good night. Or good morning, whenever you read this, here is an implied friendly greeting for whatever the fuck time it is where you are.
The blog makes me work harder than ever before at my day job because I am hoping to do something that matters somewhere else than inside of my apartment. I'm always writing in the dark with a hood on, nobody comes over because nobody wants to. I take a jerk off break every 45 minutes or so. Kind of fucks up the actual workflow. And leads to a non insignificant level of soreness.
Blogging is a very isolating experience. Sure it's practice for what I want to spend the rest of my life on, but being alone with it all the time reminds me of how alone I am in this life. I'm not too keen on being alone with my thoughts when they stray into the territory of "Why do I go on living this unexamined life?" I prefer to giggle to myself about the prospects of a Godzilla sized taco fighting a Godzilla sized tofu taco.
But I can't always get to that realm. Sometimes I'm stuck in the bullshit world of not wanting to go anywhere, do anything, but still thinking about what I should do, or should be doing. Then regretting it all but doing nothing. So, I'm wasting my fucking time thinking about how I'm wasting my fucking time. And in the end, mostly just wasting my fucking seed and my fucking tissues.
I am proud of my blog and I've enjoyed writing it for the most part. Sometimes I wish I could do more than just make a few people laugh on the internet. Maybe I could solve world hunger by building a two Godzilla sized tacos, one of ground beef and the other of tofu. I could accomplish two great goals, put on the greatest show ever witnessed and feed millions of starving people. Then all the inadequacy issues that have haunted me my whole life would just waft away. Nothing like an impossible fantasy to distract you from your crushing reality.
At first I was trying to monetize this thing and then try to make my living at it. But that just seems impossible honestly. Nobody wants to click a fucking clickbank link. Nobody wants to try any of that shit and I don't feel good about pushing it on people. I'm the only one that has clicked my Amazon ads and that was only to make sure that they were working. So maybe I need a new strategy for that kind of thing. Or maybe I should just write jokes and shut the fuck up about money. If someone thinks that I'm good enough, then I'll get paid. I'm not good or experienced enough yet, so that hasn't happened. There is no point in me trying to hork worthless shit onto my audience like a sleazy used car salesman.
I was hoping that this blog could be one aspect of my body of work as a comedian. I think it still will, because I have already made up my mind to devote the rest of my life to comedy and show business. I love laughter and making people laugh is my only goal. So if I stopped the blog it would not fix anything or make me feel any better about anything, it would be totally stupid. But a voice inside of me does say "Nah just quit dude, you suck we both know it." By that logic, if I really wanted to lose weight I guess I'd blog from a communist nation or the third world. Maybe starving to death would help me to appreciate my world a little better.
I'm not going to stop writing on this blog. I love it and I appreciate the people who read it. I have been in a rut like you wouldn't believe lately, so here's to getting out of that. If I can't climb out of it on my own, I'll go to the old stand by, 3 White Russians in the morning and 4 rounds of Scotch at night. Good night, Miss, good night. Or good morning, whenever you read this, here is an implied friendly greeting for whatever the fuck time it is where you are.
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