So a very stonery friend of mine asked me what I would do if a girl asked me to take her away to someplace safe. The setting being a party where the girl has a man, and he is at the party. Well first things first I would help her. By introducing her to a new setting, namely my basement torture dungeon.
But actually I would try to figure out where the danger is that she wants to get away from. That way we can determine the best way out of the venue. We will want to take a route that bypasses the danger. On the way I will be thinking but not saying all of these things: First of all what the fucking shit? Why have you asked me? Why have you put yourself in this situation? Why have you decided to bring me into the situation with you? Do you think that I do not want to be safe? That I was just pining for some adventure and danger? Well I was not you selfish cow.
I'm still going to help because I can't ignore someone in trouble. Still a shitty thing to take me out of my isolated bubble of peacefulness in order to rescue you from whatever. Yes that is how I am at parties. You can do whatever you want at the party, I will be figuring out what I want to do after my social obligation to the friends at the party is up. This could also just be some setup for me to be mugged. Which will have made it a complete waste of time on all fronts. I have no money, so the criminals get no roi of their time and effort. I get stressed out for a bit but ultimately never go to a party again. Which actually makes it not a waste of time because then it gives me a reason to never go back to one. I'll be in the front row at church thanking God at the top of my lungs just like the preacher wants.
Going to a party for me is like asking 1 person to clean up an exploded nuclear reactor by him or herself. Not a qualified person either, just someone off the streets. The task is too great, the pressure too much and my willpower far too little. Asking me to help someone is like asking a hermit that has meditated for a 1,000 years on top of a mtn to start working doubles as a cook at the local Ruby Tuesdays. It's far too much human interaction and I'd much rather do nothing.
That being said I am a highly empathetic guy. So if someone approaches me with the aforementioned scenario I would be concerned,sad and angry. Concerned for her immediate safety, sad that she's having a hard time and angry at the world for being the way that it has always been. My 1,000 years of meditating on top of Bell Mtn, Hiawassee GA have taught me that life will fuck you no matter who you fuck. You spend must of your time waiting to be fucked.
So I'd take the broad out of her nasty situation and through the McDonald's drove thru. Which is by some considerations to be an even nastier situation, especially if you work there. Then we're off to her house. If something criminal had happened to her, then we'd hit the hospital or police station, whichever is the most immediate need. We'd still hit Mickie d's though. I am an American after all.
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