I'm not glad that there is so much crime in the world, but I am glad that there is so much diversity in the types of crime that can be committed. Embezzlement is one of the best crimes even when, and usually when you get caught and have to pay most of it back. But what's better than a crazy ass spending spree on a bunch of money that isn't yours? The highs that you reach on that coin will far outweigh the lifetime of payments that you will be making there after. That level of spending euphoria could only be reached in the climbing world by riding a giraffe to the top of Mt. Everest. The giraffe would be in a tailor made winter coat and you would set off fire works when you got to the top. Obviously the fireworks would make an American flag.
Sure it's a selfish greed fueled act that is not morally permissible under any circumstances, but it does look like a lot of fun. This is and always will be a capitalist world. Idealists the world over can cry all they want about the inherent greed of everything but it will never do any good. Our government is bought out, our favorite icons are bought out, you and I are sellouts even if we don't realize it. Embezzlement is just the logical conclusion of a flawed, but best of the options available world. I don't see why more embezzling accountants don't just use the money they steal in order to retire to a third world country and live like a king. Nobody in law enforcement will be coming after you if you become the nerdy white guy arms dealer in war torn Nigeria. You can build a palace there for like 78k tops. Will it be up to code? Well no but a palace made of bamboo is still a palace which means you can still enjoy cocaine and hookers there.
When you take money or assets from a company that you are entrusted with the financial management there of, you have committed embezzlement as far as I can tell from a few seconds of looking at a definition. A lady in Sioux Falls SD is having to pay back the 100k that she stole while bookkeeping for a couple dental practices. Honestly, what else are you going to do besides break the law if you live in South Dakota? Boring places should have the highest pay in the nation to compensate for the infinite boredom that you will be subject to while living there. The state of South Dakota should provide every city in their state with a theme park and every business as much cocaine as is humanly possible to consume. Every time you watch the cars going by on the highway in South Dakota you are actually witnessing the metaphorical best years of your life slipping away from you. All the while you just stand there in the only convenience store for miles with your cheese puffs and a diet Pepsi in your hands waiting to hand over a little more of the cash that you could be using to escape to Las Vegas.
I wonder if there is something to the idea that people who commit embezzlement really do deserve that extra money. What if the amount that they steal is the amount that they should be paid based on experience and skill? Maybe the solution to embezzlement is the yearly salary increase for good employees. Lord knows, college graduates are almost universally useless and the experienced older workers will never see any appreciation. It's like there is a set of golden rules of business that none of us regular people ever get to see. "No matter what Jim you must never pay for experience, hire the incompetent young guy that will take 7 years to train and make sure to sexually harass your secretary. Got all that Jim? Good man. Now get out there and get nothing done."
It makes me happy that the people who get caught embezzling usually don't seem to do very much time. It's still just a financial crime and for me that really doesn't mean much. It's just money, which can be paid back. Usually the amounts stolen will take an incredibly long time to pay back but it is possible. There should be a happy ending to these stories because there is a lot of ways to pay off debts. Which would you rather pay on for the rest of your life, the student loans that made it possible for you to earn your useless Masters in Fine Arts? Or the aftermath of the greatest sin binge that the mind could ever conjure? It's an easy decision for all of us, but only some of us would ever admit it.
I think it's important to establish the level of personal and professional investment the embezzler has in the company they are stealing from. This way we can see if they really do love the place but need more money because of gambling, drug addiction or some other life problem. If the life problem is the issue, then that could be treated. If they really do love the place and need more money, then keep their current salary and establish some kind of commission option. This might attach them to their actions within the company more so than before. The information that I contribute to the world is like when a horrifying sea creature bites the window you are looking out of in your submarine. It's alarming, you might have peed a bit, but ultimately pointless as the act will never do any tangible good beyond entertainment. Entertainment for the jerks laughing at you on the bottom of the ocean.
Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/
Click here if you'd like to learn more about embezzlement: https://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/embezzlement
Click here if you'd like to hear more about the South Dakota lady: https://www.sfgate.com/news/crime/article/Former-dental-bookkeeper-facing-embezzlement-14378369.php
Click here if you'd like to know more about what to expect when you move to Nigeria: https://www.businessinsider.com/the-worlds-worst-war-zones-2015-3#4-nigeria-was-the-fourth-deadliest-conflict-with-11529-fatalities-the-intensifying-conflict-with-boko-haram-resulted-in-almost-three-times-those-killed-in-2013-4
Click here if you would like to watch the best movie of all time on the best console of this generation on the best TV that money can buy:
Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/
Click here if you'd like to learn more about embezzlement: https://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/embezzlement
Click here if you'd like to hear more about the South Dakota lady: https://www.sfgate.com/news/crime/article/Former-dental-bookkeeper-facing-embezzlement-14378369.php
Click here if you'd like to know more about what to expect when you move to Nigeria: https://www.businessinsider.com/the-worlds-worst-war-zones-2015-3#4-nigeria-was-the-fourth-deadliest-conflict-with-11529-fatalities-the-intensifying-conflict-with-boko-haram-resulted-in-almost-three-times-those-killed-in-2013-4
Click here if you would like to watch the best movie of all time on the best console of this generation on the best TV that money can buy:
No comments:
Post a Comment