I'm such a fucking idiot when I drink. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I want to destroy myself? Why didn't I stop binging booze and just have a couple glasses of water and go to bed instead? All of these are questions that I do not have the time to ask myself as I spew into the toilet like Godzilla shooting lava breath into the mouth of the Muto in Godzilla 2014. Except I'm a gagging, gasping little bitch who is definitely waking up my neighbors with all the loud ass puking. We have really thin walls at my place.
I will be drunk at some point every year until I die. Probably multiple times per year and I don't mind that. Alcohol will always be in my life most likely. I can do my best to be a good person but that doesn't mean that I'll be able to quit alcohol altogether at any point. I've started learning Bible verses to try and improve myself. To make myself into a better person. While I do believe that it has helped me to reduce my drinking, I don't think I'll be preaching anytime soon. Comedy and Church are both places where people who want to feel better meet as a group to listen to a speaker. One happens in the morning and the other happens at night. There are plenty of drunks and drug addicts at both. Just saying, they fairly similar set ups.
For me, drinking alcohol is like doing a line of coke and then getting sucked off by a hooker while you're wearing a VR headset that blasts your brain with endorphins and convinces you that it's multiple pornstars making you nut and not some skinny meth-head broad that graduated high school three years ahead of you. In other words, I love it and I often regret it. I haven't seen Marlene the meth head since Thursday. She left abruptly to go find alien life in the woods with her friend Ricky. I'm starting to get worried.
Anyway, back to the booze. I'm getting close my heart when I tell you that drinking excessively lead to the single bravest moment of my short life. With an incredible 2-3 hours of puking behind me and only the sleep that I got from passing out for short breaks in between, I was able to shave my balls without nicking them once in spite of my trembling hands and wrecked brain.
I think it's important to mention that I was not desperately risking my manhood just for the sake of sex. Marlene doesn't mind a bit of bush. She doesn't mind much of anything in all honesty. In fact, no sex was to be had for a long while at that time, and most times. I saw my hairy balls when looking down after getting up from puking and I could tell that they were needing a bit of manscaping.
Right then and there was not the optimal time to take on the challenge, but I knew that a challenge was exactly what I needed in order to rebound mentally from the devastating night that I had just experienced. So the razor that I use on my face as well came out and the nads got smooth. So I'll never stop having hangovers altogether because they inspire me to be brave. The alcohol binge before the hangover makes me feel invincible but the hangover forces me to be brave. So my liver looks like a giant yellow raisin, who cares? Try to name one good thing that doesn't have some kind of downside.
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For me, drinking alcohol is like doing a line of coke and then getting sucked off by a hooker while you're wearing a VR headset that blasts your brain with endorphins and convinces you that it's multiple pornstars making you nut and not some skinny meth-head broad that graduated high school three years ahead of you. In other words, I love it and I often regret it. I haven't seen Marlene the meth head since Thursday. She left abruptly to go find alien life in the woods with her friend Ricky. I'm starting to get worried.
Anyway, back to the booze. I'm getting close my heart when I tell you that drinking excessively lead to the single bravest moment of my short life. With an incredible 2-3 hours of puking behind me and only the sleep that I got from passing out for short breaks in between, I was able to shave my balls without nicking them once in spite of my trembling hands and wrecked brain.
I think it's important to mention that I was not desperately risking my manhood just for the sake of sex. Marlene doesn't mind a bit of bush. She doesn't mind much of anything in all honesty. In fact, no sex was to be had for a long while at that time, and most times. I saw my hairy balls when looking down after getting up from puking and I could tell that they were needing a bit of manscaping.
Right then and there was not the optimal time to take on the challenge, but I knew that a challenge was exactly what I needed in order to rebound mentally from the devastating night that I had just experienced. So the razor that I use on my face as well came out and the nads got smooth. So I'll never stop having hangovers altogether because they inspire me to be brave. The alcohol binge before the hangover makes me feel invincible but the hangover forces me to be brave. So my liver looks like a giant yellow raisin, who cares? Try to name one good thing that doesn't have some kind of downside.
Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business:https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/
Click here if you are in the mood for something classic:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzSskwpLiWY
Click here if you would like to watch the best movie of all time on the best console of this generation on the best TV that money can buy:
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