I know a guy that easy fast money ruined and so do you. It is the easiest thing in the world to get destroyed by. The reason? Easy fast money is never legal, but it's always awesome. People with easy money are not people that you can trust. If you know an exception fighter jet pilot, one that does stunts and stuff. That pilot does not pick his/her nose. Picking your nose while piloting a jet is like having no job but plenty of easy money. It just doesn't add up and you definitely should not trust it.
I fucking hate easy money. I want to trade actual skills for actual money. I don't want to cheat anyone, I don't want to be rewarded something that I don't deserve and I don't want any gifts. Nothing for free and no easy money. All my money is earned by trading skills for cash. I respect a prostitute more than a drug dealer because the prostitute has to be somewhat good at what they do. What is a drug dealer good at? Negotiation? Having a personality perfect for sales? Having a gun? That's fucking lame.
Money has to be gotten in ways that are ill and hard to cope with. You have to work like a dog for it in other words. Money is like earning someone's trust and friendship over the course of a few years and then realizing that they've blocked you on every device and never want to speak to you again. This is the equivalent of getting fired from your long term job for forwarding too many of your corny ass jokes using the office email. Getting fired loses you the hard earned money, but it was really your sense of humor that cost you.
Working is supposed to be so hard that you can't really focus on anything else. That's just how work is. If you time every task of your day while thinking about how efficient this exercise will make you, you'll find out that work doesn't like to be told how to be. This is because you will use your phone's timer function to time your work and at some point you will lose the phone in the water. Which water? take your pick. You'll drop it in the toilet, bump it into the sink full of dishes accidentally, take a shower with your clothes on and the phone in your pocket. It will happen and then you'll understand that work does as work is. You can't defeat it.
I feel excited when I go to work because I know that my work is what defines me and that I'll never be greater than my work. I was also excited when I started cooking every meal for the first time in my life. I stopped cooking every meal nine days later because I gave myself food poisoning via cross contamination. In the same way, work can really beat your ass sometimes.
I really really enjoy taking a day off though. It's pretty fucking great. But if you take too many days off from work then you will be too long away from your work. This is like taking on an interpretive dance apprenticeship in order to better yourself and then realizing later that it's just a front for criminal recruiting. If you don't join then the beat you up and take your money. Which is the same experience fundamentally, as going to college for your education.
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Remember this dumb song? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_nA6ZSNcMs&list=RDB_nA6ZSNcMs&start_radio=1
Joke writer who loves dark humor. I'm the sole author of this blog's dark jokes, short jokes and short stories. One post per day or more.
Comedy Story: The Mayor is Into Extortion
So this mayor in Massachusetts has been arrested for accepting bribes and taking extortion money from a bunch of marijuana businesses in his city. He gave them the official letters that they needed to get started and then they gave him fuck tons of cash. Now it is looking like he is going to have to pay for his shady dealings. Similarly, I have spent a lot of time and energy making good friends with a group of girls that I met at work. So we all make mistakes.
The mayor was elected when he was 23 years old, but he looks like a toddler in a suit. The guy is only 1 year older than me. Even though I look like I'm 25 years older than him. So he's a better looking, higher profile loser, whereas I'm more local. You might think that this scandal is the kind of thing that will ruin his political career, but by today's standards it will probably propel him to the presidency.
Extortion is a fucking misdemeanor. The law says that when a government official abuses their position of power in order to get rich quick, this is extortion. Usually that's what it means, I'm not a lawyer so don't trust me on that but that's what it seems like from what I read. There are people doing crazy amounts of time for drug trafficking and possession, but extortion is a fucking misdemeanor? It is well known among all living things that people who do drugs only do them because the police don't want them too. If the police didn't care, nobody would do drugs. But instead there are huge ass penalties for these practically harmless crimes whereas public officials can rob mother fuckers and get off with a misdemeanor. We don't need a cattle farmer to help us identify bull shit when it's as obvious as this.
The lawyer in the picture is doing his most practiced "look like it's an injustice against my client" look. The fat on the bottom of the lawyer's neck looks like a flabby old cunt. I don't trust anybody in nice suits with perfect hair. I don't trust smelly hippies or religious people either. I don't trust anyone really. So, you can always trust me to be poorly informed and opinionated.
This story makes me a bit angry, but looking that the little twat's picture makes me laugh. That is decidedly the face of somebody with severe little man disorder. A dead ringer for who I would expect to be a corrupt, young, useless, power hungry politician. Way to go electing this guy people of Massachusetts. Maybe he is a silver tongued devil and you just fell under his spell. I understand, all of the girls I've fallen in love with have married gay guys. So we all make mistakes. Although, they are all better dressed and more polite than me. And more loving too...maybe I'm the mistake? Moving on.
The guy might not be guilty. He might be a perfectly innocent little angel the way his mother always wanted. So I don't want to totally condemn the guy, though it may be too late for that seeing as this is the ending paragraph of the post. The ending of my post does not spell the ending of anything significant in this world. Take death for example, in real life once you reach death, that's the end. But in a political career, which is not really real life, you can reach death many times. As long as you can afford a legal defense, your zombie ass career can keep busting out of the grave time after time.
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Click here if you think my definition for extortion was a bit iffy: https://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/extortion
Click here to read the story about the mayor who was into extortion: https://www.omaha.com/news/nation/the-latest-mayor-defiant-after-extortion-bribery-arrest/article_daa44a76-d9b7-51a5-87e9-10d0884c3ec5.html
This looks like an interesting book related to my topic today:
This looks like an interesting book related to my topic today:
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Comedy Story: Do Not Work At The Store
I am not a man who likes to go into stores, let alone work in one. I have however worked in 2 stores at different times in my working life. At the grocery store I was constantly griped at by people looking to buy the ingredients to make their creamy lemon pasta or some shit. Yeah it's probably going to be in the pasta isle and the lemon isle. You might want some peas and butter in there too ya fuck. I'm not a head chef, I don't know your recipe. Don't ask me for help with the dish and then just stand there waiting on me to figure the rest out.
At the tourist store I spoke with a wacko that thought that I was probably psychic because of the way he read his deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards that morning. So he wanted me to join his group of psychics. He was from Pennsylvania and the store I was working at was in North Carolina. He said that it wouldn't matter as I could attend the meetings in my spiritual body. So yea, he was definitely the high point of that job, and the meetings aren't too bad either.
At the tourist store I spoke with a wacko that thought that I was probably psychic because of the way he read his deck of Yu-Gi-Oh cards that morning. So he wanted me to join his group of psychics. He was from Pennsylvania and the store I was working at was in North Carolina. He said that it wouldn't matter as I could attend the meetings in my spiritual body. So yea, he was definitely the high point of that job, and the meetings aren't too bad either.
Working in a store is way too boring. If you happen to be retarded, then you probably won't mind. You probably don't mind much of anything. My day job is in the restaurant business and there is room for excitement even though restaurant work can also be pretty repetitive. You can never really predict how people are going to be in a fast paced environment. You can tell me to do 23 things at once and I'll try, but that doesn't mean that this ship isn't sinking to the bottom of the ocean where a shift in tectonic plates has opened a fissure that leads to the center of the Earth. The ship being our service.
The only thing that really sucks about restaurant work is when you have to deal with a new manager. But that store it sucks all them time, just because you work at the store. Sometimes a new restaurant manager isn't bad but when it is, you're dealing with one of those chodes that thinks that the standards of the place and everyone there are piss poor and that they are really gonna turn everything around. Those guys are always fired quickly, quit on their own because they can't take it, or are the actual owners of the company. My last manager like that was the kind of guy that if you happened to ask him for help during the shift he would punish you by making you listen to all his theories about religion, politics and culture. He was as reliable a source on those topics as predicting the future using zodiac signs and tarot cards.
The only thing that really sucks about restaurant work is when you have to deal with a new manager. But that store it sucks all them time, just because you work at the store. Sometimes a new restaurant manager isn't bad but when it is, you're dealing with one of those chodes that thinks that the standards of the place and everyone there are piss poor and that they are really gonna turn everything around. Those guys are always fired quickly, quit on their own because they can't take it, or are the actual owners of the company. My last manager like that was the kind of guy that if you happened to ask him for help during the shift he would punish you by making you listen to all his theories about religion, politics and culture. He was as reliable a source on those topics as predicting the future using zodiac signs and tarot cards.
The store has no excitement. People will gripe at you because they are people. It's not like a bagger can fill out an order form for more diet rite soda for you, you crazy fucking bitch. I was followed around the store by some lady who was having a meltdown over there being no more diet rite. I didn't even know what type of product diet rite was. It's a soda if you didn't know either. I was going to ask the pharmacy people if it was a type of diet pill. I had no clue what she was talking about. I was and am the kind of guy that on a whim will play Pokemon for 17 hours straight until I'm hallucinating a family of Pikachus in my living room. So I'm not the kind of guy that you go to for solutions of any kind.
I ended up just telling the bitch to go talk to management. I actually got her to leave me alone by saying "I can't do anything about it, I'm just a bagger." She was furious at that, but I had already tried every bit of customer service that I possibly could and she was still pissed. I looked for the soda, checked in storage for the soda, asked the inventory manager if we had the soda. To which he said no. Then when I asked him to talk to the crazy lady, once again he just said no. That was a man in charge of his own future. He knew I had been unfortunate enough to attract the attention of that cunt and he wanted no part of it. I bet he retires at 36 with a fortune somehow. Probably from buying dvds in bulk and reselling them on Ebay.
Working at the store is pretty horrifying in an existential sense. There is no purpose to what you're doing there. In a few years robots will have completely gotten rid of the human element in that business. So you just have to keep pretending to give a fuck when you don't until the day when you can do something else and just quit instead of getting fired and looking bad. The tourist store sucks ass too. I once had a preacher talk to me for about 37 minutes about the religious implications of wearing jewelry that had skulls on it. In real life and not work life, I would have yelled in his face "If it offends you, then don't buy the shit!" But I wouldn't have been in the store in my real life. I don't care a thing for Harley-Davidson, skulls or not. My guess is that I had to listen to this guys impromptu sermon because I never go to church anymore. God knew I was hiding from church by working all the time, so he sent his messenger to my place of employment.
Well surprise surprise, I fucking hated both stores. It was just too slow, and most of the people that worked there were total brain dead losers. I quit the tourist job by dropping my stuff off in the store office and just walking out, never to return. The manager called me several times and texted me but I was too busy crying by myself in Wendy's while eating a Dave's double with fries and cream soda. I gave the grocery store two weeks notice, I'm not a total bastard.
I was crying in Wendy's because I knew that I'd never get that time back that I had wasted at the store. When I play Mass Effect 3 online on the Wiiu nowadays, I expect and enjoy a single player experience. The name Wiiu is basically Japanese for dead console. But I'm still playing and enjoying the game even though there is nobody to play it with. It's okay to be alone on there because it still fulfills all of my expectations for what that time should be.
I cried about the Harley-Davidson store because I had thought that it would be a fun, silly way to make a living and a place where I could make new friends. But I was completely wrong about that. It was a miserable, soulless place where no friends where to be made. The choice of Wendy's is because I was incredibly disappointed in my life and my dad really likes Wendy's. He is also really disappointed in my life so I think it all ties together really well.
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Click here if you would like to learn about dealing with disappointment: https://psychcentral.com/lib/dealing-with-disappointment/
Click here if you'd like to deal with your disappointment by stuffing your face like I usually do:
I was crying in Wendy's because I knew that I'd never get that time back that I had wasted at the store. When I play Mass Effect 3 online on the Wiiu nowadays, I expect and enjoy a single player experience. The name Wiiu is basically Japanese for dead console. But I'm still playing and enjoying the game even though there is nobody to play it with. It's okay to be alone on there because it still fulfills all of my expectations for what that time should be.
I cried about the Harley-Davidson store because I had thought that it would be a fun, silly way to make a living and a place where I could make new friends. But I was completely wrong about that. It was a miserable, soulless place where no friends where to be made. The choice of Wendy's is because I was incredibly disappointed in my life and my dad really likes Wendy's. He is also really disappointed in my life so I think it all ties together really well.
Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/
Click here if you would like to learn about dealing with disappointment: https://psychcentral.com/lib/dealing-with-disappointment/
Click here if you'd like to deal with your disappointment by stuffing your face like I usually do:
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Comedy Story: Quitting A Friendship
Hey look why can't people that don't want to be friends anymore just say it instead of waiting it out for the other person to stop caring? You don't ever have time to hang out even though we live in the same city and you don't have a job. Why can't you just say, "You hurt my feelings too often and I think you're a creep. This friendship is over." I would really really respect your right to be an oversensitive pussy. At least there is no front to your pussiness. You are an honest pussy. I think that I should've been an honest pussy when my father asked me why I didn't want to play football anymore. But I was a lying pussy. I said I just thought soccer required more skill. I was actually just interested in the lack of concussions in soccer.
You won't express what's really bothering you. You'd rather just be passive aggressive and a jerk to me instead of talking it out like real men and women. Actually now that I think of it, you'd be totally down for screaming in my face about my penis, money or hopes and dreams. Ineffective screaming matches are your specialty. You never run out of energy when verbally assaulting me is the exercise. Though your fat ass could use a great deal more of actual exercise. Another of your favorites is to tell me that I'm not funny or creative. But that doesn't hurt my feelings even though you think it will. If anyone should know how unfunny I am, it's me. I know that I am only funny about 2% of the time and maybe less. It is only God and I that see how much unusable garbage I pen down. So you can tell everyone that I'm an unfunny hack. They won't read my comedy anyway!
The people I'm talking about are called narcissists by psychologists, and cunts by the rest of us. I haven't noticed if there are more male or female cunts. But there are a lot of them in both categories. We should all look out for cunts so that we can shame and disown them as vehemently as possible. However, most women will date them instead of a perfectly suitable nerd on the grounds that the cunt that they've chosen is not a nerd. Anything but a nerd.
I have seen a cunt that was friends with a perfectly fine girl cut ties, and then that nice girl went into a cocoon of cuntiness and emerged as a cunt with colorful wings. The colorful wings were the good traits about the girl she used to be that kept me coming back for more punishment from the actual cunt that she became. All the while, I've been the same guy. I was an annoying, hard working balding guy when they both met me. Now I am a hard working, annoying bald guy. The core aspects that make up the man are still in place. The aspects that make up the first and the new cunt are the only aspects that I'll remember about either of them.
Well go on thinking you are the lord of swag or however you see yourself. Tell them about your contributions to modern space craft design you middle manager loser. You got a degree, some of you got multiple degrees in stuff that you don't intend to even do with your life. The real mission that you're on is not forensic science or great business success, it's to tell everyone how great you are, or how much of a victim you've been. Go ahead an discard me like the trash that I am. Most of you are so clueless that you'd drop a fortune shopping at a fire sale in the snake oil shop. "It's great for your skin and hair" you say as you rub the useless shit all over yourself. If comedy doesn't work out I'm going to go into the snake oil business. Also known as the beauty industry, also known as the useless shit industry.
I have remorse for you. Who really likes you? Your mom and dad? Sure. Your siblings definitely do not. They tolerate you at best. The only person that could actually love you for who you are walks on four legs and licks his own asshole. With the same tongue that "kisses" your face when you get home to gripe about your long hard day of being a cunt.
No matter how good I get at identifying these time wasting retards, I'm sure one of them will do this to me again one day. Piss me off and waste my time that is. They always turn out to be incredibly shallow and stupid, so maybe I should just keep wearing used clothes and not socializing. If I had a nice suit, one of these charmers would kill me for it and then rob my grave for the suit. After having fake cried all through the ceremony. Ultimately, these failed friends are left alone by the same restraint that kept me from caring when my gay ass teammates were slapping each other and occasionally me with towels in the locker room. When I quickly got changed and hurried out of the locker room I always thought "Is it worth it to keep dealing with this stupidity?" It most certainly wasn't then and it's not with fake friends either.
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Click here if you would like to read an article on this topic: https://pairedlife.com/friendship/Pain-and-Disappointment-When-a-Friendship-Ends
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You won't express what's really bothering you. You'd rather just be passive aggressive and a jerk to me instead of talking it out like real men and women. Actually now that I think of it, you'd be totally down for screaming in my face about my penis, money or hopes and dreams. Ineffective screaming matches are your specialty. You never run out of energy when verbally assaulting me is the exercise. Though your fat ass could use a great deal more of actual exercise. Another of your favorites is to tell me that I'm not funny or creative. But that doesn't hurt my feelings even though you think it will. If anyone should know how unfunny I am, it's me. I know that I am only funny about 2% of the time and maybe less. It is only God and I that see how much unusable garbage I pen down. So you can tell everyone that I'm an unfunny hack. They won't read my comedy anyway!
The people I'm talking about are called narcissists by psychologists, and cunts by the rest of us. I haven't noticed if there are more male or female cunts. But there are a lot of them in both categories. We should all look out for cunts so that we can shame and disown them as vehemently as possible. However, most women will date them instead of a perfectly suitable nerd on the grounds that the cunt that they've chosen is not a nerd. Anything but a nerd.
I have seen a cunt that was friends with a perfectly fine girl cut ties, and then that nice girl went into a cocoon of cuntiness and emerged as a cunt with colorful wings. The colorful wings were the good traits about the girl she used to be that kept me coming back for more punishment from the actual cunt that she became. All the while, I've been the same guy. I was an annoying, hard working balding guy when they both met me. Now I am a hard working, annoying bald guy. The core aspects that make up the man are still in place. The aspects that make up the first and the new cunt are the only aspects that I'll remember about either of them.
Well go on thinking you are the lord of swag or however you see yourself. Tell them about your contributions to modern space craft design you middle manager loser. You got a degree, some of you got multiple degrees in stuff that you don't intend to even do with your life. The real mission that you're on is not forensic science or great business success, it's to tell everyone how great you are, or how much of a victim you've been. Go ahead an discard me like the trash that I am. Most of you are so clueless that you'd drop a fortune shopping at a fire sale in the snake oil shop. "It's great for your skin and hair" you say as you rub the useless shit all over yourself. If comedy doesn't work out I'm going to go into the snake oil business. Also known as the beauty industry, also known as the useless shit industry.
I have remorse for you. Who really likes you? Your mom and dad? Sure. Your siblings definitely do not. They tolerate you at best. The only person that could actually love you for who you are walks on four legs and licks his own asshole. With the same tongue that "kisses" your face when you get home to gripe about your long hard day of being a cunt.
No matter how good I get at identifying these time wasting retards, I'm sure one of them will do this to me again one day. Piss me off and waste my time that is. They always turn out to be incredibly shallow and stupid, so maybe I should just keep wearing used clothes and not socializing. If I had a nice suit, one of these charmers would kill me for it and then rob my grave for the suit. After having fake cried all through the ceremony. Ultimately, these failed friends are left alone by the same restraint that kept me from caring when my gay ass teammates were slapping each other and occasionally me with towels in the locker room. When I quickly got changed and hurried out of the locker room I always thought "Is it worth it to keep dealing with this stupidity?" It most certainly wasn't then and it's not with fake friends either.
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Click here if you would like to read an article on this topic: https://pairedlife.com/friendship/Pain-and-Disappointment-When-a-Friendship-Ends
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Comedy Story: Being Alone is Not The Best
People who claim being alone is the best are not the same as people who claim that they want to be alone all the time. The first one is an introvert, the other one is starving for attention. Introverts might prefer being alone, but they will admit that they miss social interaction and that they do want people in their lives. People who say they want to be alone all the time did not get hugged enough growing up. Being alone all the time is like playing barefoot soccer and having such a good time at it that you end up walking home barefoot and along the way, you step on a rusty nail. Everything in moderation and there is a reason why we have shoes. These are the great philosophic depths that I'll take you to today.
I've already professed how worthless I think the life coach industry is. Even more worthless are the high school sports coaches that were supposed to change our lives and make us into men. I mean get this, I had a coach once that told me I was too selfish and that I should shoot the ball less. But I'm the best shooter! Why the fuck should I pass? I should be shooting all the time. You should be spending your time thinking of ways to get me more shots. Geeze Louise, team work? How about we just win instead. I was a loner back then too though, so I shot every time I was given the ball, hung out with nobody and never made an attempt to explain myself. That's not exactly the recipe for popularity.
I've already professed how worthless I think the life coach industry is. Even more worthless are the high school sports coaches that were supposed to change our lives and make us into men. I mean get this, I had a coach once that told me I was too selfish and that I should shoot the ball less. But I'm the best shooter! Why the fuck should I pass? I should be shooting all the time. You should be spending your time thinking of ways to get me more shots. Geeze Louise, team work? How about we just win instead. I was a loner back then too though, so I shot every time I was given the ball, hung out with nobody and never made an attempt to explain myself. That's not exactly the recipe for popularity.
How much do the "I don't need anyone" people like jerking off ? I mean honestly what other justification is there for pretending like you always want to be alone. If all you really wanna do is rub one out, nobody is stopping you. You don't have to tell us all how little you need us. Nobody that cares about you is going to attempt to keep you from your peeder or cooter. Have the lone douches even tried actual relationships? Yes of course they have and they never yielded enough attention to satisfy the unrelenting desire for more attention that these nerds need. Have they ever lost anyone? Yes to that as well, but they are the types that would only think of loss in terms of how much of an inconvenience it was to them personally. "Nobody ever mentions how much I suffered" they say with a pouty lower lip. Reasonable if you are a mentally collapsing spouse that just lost everything, not so much if you're a distant cousin talking to the one with the loss.
Sometimes being alone is great. I'm an actual introvert, not an attention seeker that thinks that being an introvert is somehow in style. I've had to go to great lengths to become socially capable. I work as a server/bartender for crying out loud, I have to be good with people. However, I definitely have limits, but saying something like "I never want to see anyone again" or "I fucking hate people" is just dumb ass word wasting. I couldn't make it a week without talking to someone that I care about and living without people for any amount of time greater than a few days is as likely for me as lassoing a meteorite one day and then riding it to Neptune.
Maybe there is a group out there that has one true belief and that it's that one day someone will lasso a meteorite and ride it to Neptune and my use of their belief was egregious and foul. There are two simple solutions to being upset about your beliefs, don't have dumb ass beliefs. if that's not your style then try being aware that some of what you believe might be construed as ridiculous and crazy by the uninitiated. So just believe what you believe as well and as hard as you can and just don't fucking worry about what a comedian says. Or you could pen me a rage fueled comment in my comment section, I'll read and respond as so little comments end up on here that it would look extremely neglectful for me to not respond.
Maybe there is a group out there that has one true belief and that it's that one day someone will lasso a meteorite and ride it to Neptune and my use of their belief was egregious and foul. There are two simple solutions to being upset about your beliefs, don't have dumb ass beliefs. if that's not your style then try being aware that some of what you believe might be construed as ridiculous and crazy by the uninitiated. So just believe what you believe as well and as hard as you can and just don't fucking worry about what a comedian says. Or you could pen me a rage fueled comment in my comment section, I'll read and respond as so little comments end up on here that it would look extremely neglectful for me to not respond.
Loneliness is such an overwhelming bitch that it can destroy you even when you are surrounded by loved ones. People would rather kill themselves then be alone a lot of times. So only a selfish, ridiculous, narcissist would ever suggest that the only person that they ever want to deal with again is their self. But of course the narcissist doesn't really want to be alone. If you tell the trees in the woods how awesome you are for more than a few minutes, will a tree become sentient and tear you limb from limb? If the roots of the tree burst from the dirt so that the tree can trample you, won't you be on really shaky ground? If the sentient family of rage filled trees chases you from the dark greens of the forest to a pasture of rolling green landscape... will you have truly found that the grass is greener on the other side? You might feel with all the questions that this is turning into a interrogation but it's actually just a well placed sequence of nonsense, much like my short existence on this planet.
Loneliness, depression and lack of connection is the great millennial struggle. Along with being hated by everyone, some of you have earned it. My fellow millennials might think that think that our collective amounts of staggering debt is the real issue. Yes that is a big issue for us. But the people that own our debt will be more incentivised to help us with depression and loneliness so that we can stick around long enough to pay off our debts. Suicide rates shooting up would mean return on investment for debtors would go plummeting down.
My solution is to get, and stay, fucked up all the time. We can all start the day with 3 White Russians. We can all meet for margaritas and daiquiris for lunch. After work we can do shots and then end the night sipping scotch at my place or your place or any fucking place. Hopefully we'll be fucked up enough that it really won't matter to us. I met a friend of a friend that was such a cock sucker. He cared so much about what other people thought of him. He was also the guy that was always talking about getting drunk but drank like he was saving himself for marriage. What a pussy. Anyway, don't be that guy. He might not be lonely, but he does hate himself and that's not a good trade. Will staying plastered pay off the debt? Well the bar owners among us will be paying off their debts probably. The rest of us were never going to be able to pay that off anyway. Will our depression be cured? For a little while it will be. Then it will get way worse, but our loneliness should be solved as long as we keep on drinking.
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Loneliness is a bigger deal than you might think: https://www.thedrum.com/news/2019/09/09/cadbury-dairy-milk-and-age-uk-encourage-kind-gestures-solve-old-age-loneliness
Click on any of these if you want to enjoy some legendary comedy:
Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/
Loneliness is a bigger deal than you might think: https://www.thedrum.com/news/2019/09/09/cadbury-dairy-milk-and-age-uk-encourage-kind-gestures-solve-old-age-loneliness
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Comedy Story: Ignore Experts and Qualifications
I am passionate about philosophy, art, psychology and history and I do not need a degree in order to know something about any of those subjects. Nobody needs a degree in order to know what they are talking about. Dismissing someone based on their qualifications is stupid. You should be looking at how into something someone is. Are they really passionate about the topic, are they spending their time on it? If you can find someone that really spends all of their time on something then you will have found yourself someone who knows what they are talking about.
Let's take being a good neighbor for instance. I don't know everything about being a good neighbor but I do know that if you welcome me to the neighborhood by complimenting the typography of my welcome mat and bring me a batch of freshly picked pairs, then you're probably a good neighbor. You might want something from me, but you won't get it, and we'll cross that road when we get to it. If you leave a pile of not so freshly picked pairs on my doorstep with a note written in crayon that says "welcum 2 the nayborhud" I'll just assume that you live in the dumpster down the street and that the pairs are only fresh from the trash. I do appreciate that you brought me the ones that haven't been bitten into. I'm still calling the cops though.
Let's take being a good neighbor for instance. I don't know everything about being a good neighbor but I do know that if you welcome me to the neighborhood by complimenting the typography of my welcome mat and bring me a batch of freshly picked pairs, then you're probably a good neighbor. You might want something from me, but you won't get it, and we'll cross that road when we get to it. If you leave a pile of not so freshly picked pairs on my doorstep with a note written in crayon that says "welcum 2 the nayborhud" I'll just assume that you live in the dumpster down the street and that the pairs are only fresh from the trash. I do appreciate that you brought me the ones that haven't been bitten into. I'm still calling the cops though.
I don't spend all of my time on art, philosophy, psychology and history, but I spend enough time on it that we could definitely have a conversation about it. There was some dumb broad talking down to me the other day about how if I hadn't earned my degree in psychology, then I shouldn't be talking about it like I had. What does that even mean? I wasn't putting on airs to try and seem smarter, I was just making conversation about something that I thought was interesting. It was the subject of automatic drawing. I only mentioned that some people find it therapeutic. Does that sound like some arrogant prick trying to make everyone feel dumber? I don't think so. I think this broad is probably just really insecure.
If she wanted to take me down a notch she should have pointed out the tear in the crotch of my work pants. Now inevitably, me being the well oiled (just sweaty) sex machine that I am, every woman at work is obviously always staring at my crotch. So I know that they all must know about that subtle tear. That would have been a proper taking down of my ego. To call my clothes ragged is to wake me up in high school when I had just fallen asleep in Algebra 2. It's an attack on my person and either way it won't make a difference if I'm conscious of my circumstances or not. I never understood algebra and I probably won't spend more money on work pants or sewing materials.
If she wanted to take me down a notch she should have pointed out the tear in the crotch of my work pants. Now inevitably, me being the well oiled (just sweaty) sex machine that I am, every woman at work is obviously always staring at my crotch. So I know that they all must know about that subtle tear. That would have been a proper taking down of my ego. To call my clothes ragged is to wake me up in high school when I had just fallen asleep in Algebra 2. It's an attack on my person and either way it won't make a difference if I'm conscious of my circumstances or not. I never understood algebra and I probably won't spend more money on work pants or sewing materials.
I'll be honest with you, I'm not smart enough to read Kant's Critique of Pure Reason. I find it to be way too dense and not worth the effort of googling the meaning of a word every two words. But I can definitely understand Diogenes telling people to fuck off all night and day. I can laugh at him insisting on being a homeless, hopeless naked guy just beating off in his barrel somewhere in Athens. Some old nasty geezer lives right down the road from your apartment and he's rattling around in his barrel at about 6:39pm every evening. You sometimes forget to close the window so you end up hearing some of his sexual shit talking to himself. Sometimes the other neighbors yell at him and tell him to keep it down. He just makes sure to go nut on their welcome mat. Now that's the humanity that I have come to know and love. So I'm not some secretly super smart guy, I'm just a regular dude that takes to some pretty specific interests.
The chick that called me out and said that I was trying to seem like a sagely old man when really I'm nothing but a pleb seemed to put a lot of value into college education. As in, that's the thing that if you don't have it, then she'll look down on you. I love people that are self taught, that mastered something because they wanted too. Not because someone else told them to. Some of those people went to school and got college degrees, but even if you do go to school, you still have to be self taught or mentored in some way in order to learn enough to make a professional of yourself.
When I was a kid I was learning the difference between being responsible for the quality of work that you're doing and the rules around you. So when I would randomly walk out of class with no regard for the rules I was just saying that I know that my work is already stellar and that a second bathroom break was in order. I was also expressing the idea that this post is about. I don't need a teacher to tell me when I need to take a piss. He/She might be an expert in knowing when students should or should not take a piss, but I am an expert at knowing when I need to piss. I was mostly dicking around, walking around the school pretending like I was running an errand for a teacher. I still maintain that if my grades were good enough, then I should be more in charge of how my time is spent. It is after all, the only time that I'll ever have.
When I was a kid I was learning the difference between being responsible for the quality of work that you're doing and the rules around you. So when I would randomly walk out of class with no regard for the rules I was just saying that I know that my work is already stellar and that a second bathroom break was in order. I was also expressing the idea that this post is about. I don't need a teacher to tell me when I need to take a piss. He/She might be an expert in knowing when students should or should not take a piss, but I am an expert at knowing when I need to piss. I was mostly dicking around, walking around the school pretending like I was running an errand for a teacher. I still maintain that if my grades were good enough, then I should be more in charge of how my time is spent. It is after all, the only time that I'll ever have.
I'm attached emotionally to the idea of making something of yourself and being the one that is responsible for who you are. I think highly of the concept for it's own merits, but to be perfectly honest, it's not just a logical belief for me. I am invested in the idea to the point that there is no point in trying to debate me on it's merits. I believe in the individual to the extent that it's almost like a faith instead of a belief. Now I only have actual faith in actual God. But I do believe in and love the individual. I've always had a huge ego. I've always appreciated my work the most. I'm not a total narcissist or I wouldn't be aware of these aspects of myself, but I do have some narcissistic tendencies.
I know that I'm not perfect, I am thankfully confident. So when I was driving down the road with my friend a good number of years back and he asked if my jalopy of an old jeep usually smoked under the hood this much, I said "oh yea, does it all the time." Shortly thereafter I said "oh shit!" because the front end of the jeep caught on fire. I could have been hoping for my friend to help me, or a stranger to help me, but I didn't do any of that. I just used a fire extinguisher. I didn't have to hope and wait and believe and wish until the universe manifested a fire extinguisher in my jeep. I just put one in there with my hands, at an earlier date. I used money that I earned from mowing lawns to pay for the fire extinguisher. It's really as simple as all that. I don't see the point in consulting someone else when I know what I have: a fire. I also happen to have: a fire extinguisher. End of story, no communication required.
I know that I'm not perfect, I am thankfully confident. So when I was driving down the road with my friend a good number of years back and he asked if my jalopy of an old jeep usually smoked under the hood this much, I said "oh yea, does it all the time." Shortly thereafter I said "oh shit!" because the front end of the jeep caught on fire. I could have been hoping for my friend to help me, or a stranger to help me, but I didn't do any of that. I just used a fire extinguisher. I didn't have to hope and wait and believe and wish until the universe manifested a fire extinguisher in my jeep. I just put one in there with my hands, at an earlier date. I used money that I earned from mowing lawns to pay for the fire extinguisher. It's really as simple as all that. I don't see the point in consulting someone else when I know what I have: a fire. I also happen to have: a fire extinguisher. End of story, no communication required.
So at the end of the day, I don't need to listen to experts and the highly qualified in order to figure out what I think about the world. I always consult doctors on health matters and if I had legal trouble I would consult a lawyer. These are two professions where you can make no substitutions. The same thing applies to all the concepts of life that I know nothing about. I will never have advice or an opinion on plumbing or apple trees. I just have to be present and aware of what I do know. I know that Diogenes and Socrates have taught me a lot and I don't need an expert to explain to me what I already know to be true of both men. I know that for a long time all I needed was to go shoot hoops by myself in order to deal with sadness. I know now that I would rather hang myself from the basketball hoop rather than go a few weeks without my depression meds. So we all become experts of ourselves at some point.
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Click here if you'd like learn a bit more about this Diogenes fellow: https://medium.com/@iginamip/who-the-is-diogenes-74f0ecb208b8
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Click here if you'd like learn a bit more about this Diogenes fellow: https://medium.com/@iginamip/who-the-is-diogenes-74f0ecb208b8
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Comedy Story: The Get Rich Industry
The life coaching industry should be ignored and boycotted by everyone the world over. I do not care about the testimonials, I do not care about what it's done for people. I take one look at the garbage and I can tell you now that it's just a main entree of wish fulfillment with a side of dopamine. All this stupid trash is, is a way for people to make a lot of money by making people feel good for a few hours. They try to do the stuff that they experience in the event, realize that none of it works, and then go to another event because it felt too good last time to have been the fault of the information. It's just the listener that has it all wrong, not the performer. Going to see some loud jack ass like Tony Robbins is the same as using heroin tablets as your adblocker for all your problems. The heroin might make you feel good now, but eventually you will need a lot more of it, and by the time needles are involved your problems will be too big to be blocked.
I don't, and the rest of the world doesn't need some moron who really only knows one thing and that's marketing, to tell us how to live. Nobody can deny a true master. Whatever it is that you want to start doing, start doing it, and at some point if you've done enough of it, you'll be a master at it. Nobody will refuse to pay the ultimate wood carving master for hyper realistic wood carvings of bears. I might want to become the ultimate colored pencil illustrator. But if I spend my time looking for the best deal on dollar store hats, then I'll have less time to put into the colored pencil mastery. It works just like that, figure out what you want to do, start doing it, and then never stop. At some point along the way you get paid really well. You don't need some guy in his late fifties yelling at you about goals and visualization in order for you to get good at something. I guess the other thing Robbins is good at is looking younger than he is. But if he's 59 like I think that I read that he is, then his dick doesn't even really work on it's own anymore. Ever thought about that for mister hyper masculine fantasy?
I am more likely to fire a harpoon gun at my laptop screen than I am to invest myself in a life coach training program. I would rather build a scale model of the Burj Dubai out of torn Pokemon cards and worn out tractor tires. How many people that go to those dumb ass life coaching events actually benefit from it other than they feel pretty good for a little while? I never feel good at all. I take pills to keep from wanting to off myself more than I already do. Feeling hyped up like maniac out in public would just be an inconvenience to me as I would rather not feel anything than to have to feel something and then go back to feeling nothing.
Maybe there is a true believer out there that thinks going to one of these events would do me a lot of good as I seem to be a bit depressed. "It totally cured my depression and the depression of everyone there dude. You seem like a hater, maybe you should try something new." No I shouldn't because I'm already doing the thing that I want to do with my life. I already have a good job that I enjoy. My brain does not work correctly. It doesn't want me to be happy. Expecting some fucktard in a nice suit to know more than the many doctors that I've seen over the years is patently insane. I do not need to be made excited about a life that I already know that I won't be excited about. I need an effective microwave to reheat meals that I take home from work. I don't need to move to a residence near a tropical island so that I can pan fry my eggs over an erupting volcano every morning. Excitement does not equal productivity.
So maybe these fucking twats that call themselves life coaches have helped a few people. I wonder if they could stay in business if all the people that they didn't help got refunds. I'd say probably not. If you're not religious then get your wisdom from philosophy. If you are religious then get your wisdom from your sacred text and philosophy. You will find that both can be very helpful. Nowhere in any of those books will you see lines that read "This is the beginner salvation package. It's good, you'll learn a lot from it and it will guarantee you a pretty good spot in heaven. But the elite level salvation package will give you everything that you need to ascend directly to your mansion that rests in the same neighborhood as the big G himself." Wisdom does not come with a price tag that keeps changing and escalating. Wisdom is a one time fee for something that you have to break down and synthesize for yourself.
Because the life coach industry makes all of it's money on manipulating people into feeling emotions and then charging them for the privilege, the emotion I feel towards it is anger. It's a stupid waste of money. It's the kind of loud, obnoxious, social presence that occupies a tiny part of my subconscious as I go through life. It would be like if I owned a van with a DVD player in it and was watching The Little Mermaid while driving down the highway with my proverbial kids. Cruising down the highway, singing along with the kids and then I get cut off my some knuckle dragging imbecile that has the gall to honk at me and shoot me the bird even though he was so clearly in the wrong. I was doing just fine until your stupid loud ass cut me off. Now I'll have to put the kids to bed early so that I can drink 6 rounds of Scotch while I mutter to myself about how I would've wooped the guy's ass if he would've jumped out of his car. The same is true for life coaching, it's a stupid waste of time and I only know about it because it's been in my way before.
Normally with this kind of thing and with basically every perspective that I have on just about anything. My advice is to do whatever you like, I don't care what other people do, I just do whatever I want and I think everyone should do the same thing. But I'm not going to recommend that for self help horse shit or life coaching nonsense. I think both should be boycotted and ignored. If you already know what you want to do with your life and you start doing it while also never stopping. What more do you need? If you want a little bit of excitement in your life but you don't want to actually change yourself for the better then save your money that you were going to spend on the Robbins event and just watch a run of the mill horror movie instead. You can addict yourself to something expensive, like going to life help bull shit or you could addict yourself to something cheap like measuring the full length of all your finger and toe nail clippings after a single month. Both expenditures of time would be equally beneficial to your life.
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I don't, and the rest of the world doesn't need some moron who really only knows one thing and that's marketing, to tell us how to live. Nobody can deny a true master. Whatever it is that you want to start doing, start doing it, and at some point if you've done enough of it, you'll be a master at it. Nobody will refuse to pay the ultimate wood carving master for hyper realistic wood carvings of bears. I might want to become the ultimate colored pencil illustrator. But if I spend my time looking for the best deal on dollar store hats, then I'll have less time to put into the colored pencil mastery. It works just like that, figure out what you want to do, start doing it, and then never stop. At some point along the way you get paid really well. You don't need some guy in his late fifties yelling at you about goals and visualization in order for you to get good at something. I guess the other thing Robbins is good at is looking younger than he is. But if he's 59 like I think that I read that he is, then his dick doesn't even really work on it's own anymore. Ever thought about that for mister hyper masculine fantasy?
I am more likely to fire a harpoon gun at my laptop screen than I am to invest myself in a life coach training program. I would rather build a scale model of the Burj Dubai out of torn Pokemon cards and worn out tractor tires. How many people that go to those dumb ass life coaching events actually benefit from it other than they feel pretty good for a little while? I never feel good at all. I take pills to keep from wanting to off myself more than I already do. Feeling hyped up like maniac out in public would just be an inconvenience to me as I would rather not feel anything than to have to feel something and then go back to feeling nothing.
Maybe there is a true believer out there that thinks going to one of these events would do me a lot of good as I seem to be a bit depressed. "It totally cured my depression and the depression of everyone there dude. You seem like a hater, maybe you should try something new." No I shouldn't because I'm already doing the thing that I want to do with my life. I already have a good job that I enjoy. My brain does not work correctly. It doesn't want me to be happy. Expecting some fucktard in a nice suit to know more than the many doctors that I've seen over the years is patently insane. I do not need to be made excited about a life that I already know that I won't be excited about. I need an effective microwave to reheat meals that I take home from work. I don't need to move to a residence near a tropical island so that I can pan fry my eggs over an erupting volcano every morning. Excitement does not equal productivity.
So maybe these fucking twats that call themselves life coaches have helped a few people. I wonder if they could stay in business if all the people that they didn't help got refunds. I'd say probably not. If you're not religious then get your wisdom from philosophy. If you are religious then get your wisdom from your sacred text and philosophy. You will find that both can be very helpful. Nowhere in any of those books will you see lines that read "This is the beginner salvation package. It's good, you'll learn a lot from it and it will guarantee you a pretty good spot in heaven. But the elite level salvation package will give you everything that you need to ascend directly to your mansion that rests in the same neighborhood as the big G himself." Wisdom does not come with a price tag that keeps changing and escalating. Wisdom is a one time fee for something that you have to break down and synthesize for yourself.
Because the life coach industry makes all of it's money on manipulating people into feeling emotions and then charging them for the privilege, the emotion I feel towards it is anger. It's a stupid waste of money. It's the kind of loud, obnoxious, social presence that occupies a tiny part of my subconscious as I go through life. It would be like if I owned a van with a DVD player in it and was watching The Little Mermaid while driving down the highway with my proverbial kids. Cruising down the highway, singing along with the kids and then I get cut off my some knuckle dragging imbecile that has the gall to honk at me and shoot me the bird even though he was so clearly in the wrong. I was doing just fine until your stupid loud ass cut me off. Now I'll have to put the kids to bed early so that I can drink 6 rounds of Scotch while I mutter to myself about how I would've wooped the guy's ass if he would've jumped out of his car. The same is true for life coaching, it's a stupid waste of time and I only know about it because it's been in my way before.
Normally with this kind of thing and with basically every perspective that I have on just about anything. My advice is to do whatever you like, I don't care what other people do, I just do whatever I want and I think everyone should do the same thing. But I'm not going to recommend that for self help horse shit or life coaching nonsense. I think both should be boycotted and ignored. If you already know what you want to do with your life and you start doing it while also never stopping. What more do you need? If you want a little bit of excitement in your life but you don't want to actually change yourself for the better then save your money that you were going to spend on the Robbins event and just watch a run of the mill horror movie instead. You can addict yourself to something expensive, like going to life help bull shit or you could addict yourself to something cheap like measuring the full length of all your finger and toe nail clippings after a single month. Both expenditures of time would be equally beneficial to your life.
Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/
Click here if you want to read the article that helped to inspire this bit: https://www.arabianbusiness.com/media/426858-tony-robbins-as-he-arrives-in-dubai-his-fans-critics-speak-out
Click on any of these if you want to enjoy some legendary comedy:
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