My family believed that just because I could hook up an N64 console as a kid that I would be an IT professional by the time I was... pretty much the age that I am now. I am a bartender instead, and I definitely made the right call between the two options. Sure the IT guy might make more money than me, but his life sucks. My life is great. I get to wake up pretty much whenever I want, there are no women that want a guy that won't commit to anything so I always have time to spend on things that actually matter. I'm saying that spending all your time on trying to get a mate that you'll hate in 7 months is a waste of time. Just to clarify.
It is not that hard, and definitely not impressive to have a child that can hook up an N64. It's like 3 cables, 2 button presses and the flip of a switch. Not prodigy level stuff there. They told me that it was prodigy level stuff, and that made me into an arrogant kid. Being arrogant made life harder, so I should not have been told that I was super smart. Because I'm not. Thank God I finally know that and can just keep to my cocktail recipes and video games and dick jokes.
It was nice to have someone who could hook things up and be able to talk with customer service when things broke. Nice for my family, not nice for me as I was that person. Customer service reps do not want to talk to a child. Especially not a little shit who has been told that he is a technological genius because he learned how to reset the Wi-fi.
My father is an experienced, life long residential electrician. My mother has a Master's degree. How was it that I had to fix every electronic and piece of technology across my entire adolescence? Those are the resumes of two pretty smart people. My dad is good with his hands and my mom could obviously read. So why did all the repairs always fall on me? Because it was something that they were unfamiliar with. My dad can barely type 10 wpm and my mother went through all of college without ever using a computer. So technology scared them. Like the first cave man that was killed via stoning for his mastery of fire. I was the one who mastered the VCR.
Well it was good that they gave me that to do. I did enjoy fixing our family tech and it gave me a sense of approval and capability. Even though sometimes there was unfair blaming and insistence that I call customer service again even though I had no clue what to do next, and the agents refused to speak with a child. But that prepared me for the unfairness of life. Where all you have are two groups of ignorant, unrelated people yelling at you to do something when you've already done all that you can do. There is always some bullshitter that just believes "intuitively" I suppose that there is more that can be done. No matter how hard you try, there will always be more shit to do for some asshole.
I learned a lot by always being Mr. Fix it for my family. But I never learned how much is the right amount of bleach to use when cleaning the fucking bathroom. I must've used 200% of what's needed because my entire apartment stinks of it and I might pass out soon. It's fucking horrendous.
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Shot Glass Thought: Feet are Disgusting
So yeah just like the title says, feet are really gross. They smell bad, they are sore. Sometimes they develop sores. I can't stand feet. If you fuck them up somehow, well too bad, you still have to stand on them all the time.
I have fucked up my feet and at this point I'm feeling like I've fucked everything else up in life too. I should probably become a life guru. That's what you do when you've failed at everything else right? You just pretend like everything is great and then charge people for your brand of bullshit.
Speaking of bullshit, this blog is devoted to it. I'm covering books, video games and movies. All the shit that you could ever need to distract you from your life. Almost to the point that distracting yourself from life becomes your life. That was not profound. Because it was bullshit.
Click here if you want to check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
I have fucked up my feet and at this point I'm feeling like I've fucked everything else up in life too. I should probably become a life guru. That's what you do when you've failed at everything else right? You just pretend like everything is great and then charge people for your brand of bullshit.
Speaking of bullshit, this blog is devoted to it. I'm covering books, video games and movies. All the shit that you could ever need to distract you from your life. Almost to the point that distracting yourself from life becomes your life. That was not profound. Because it was bullshit.
Click here if you want to check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
Comedy Story: Travel is Overrated
Travel is overrated for people like me who hate travel. If you know that you are like me then do not listen to the boobs out there that want you to spend all your money going places where you don't want to go. Just stay home.
I spend most of my time working. If I were to travel then I would be spending all my time working, so that I could have enough money to go somewhere that is not my home. But all I really want is to go back home. I don't want to party all night, or hook up with some wild broad and live dangerously, I want to go home.
"But it's an experience that will widen your horizons!!" or some shit like that. You know what else broadens your horizons? Reading a fucking book. There are so many books in the world, if you read a tenth of a tenth of a percent of them your horizons would be fucking huge. And you'd never have to see any of what you read about in person because humans have this really cool feature preinstalled called an imagination.
Travel is expensive, the library is free as long as you're not one of those dumbasses that doesn't return the books on time. How fucking hard is it to keep the receipt that they give you and just read it ever so often so that you'll know when to return what is not yours? It's not that fucking hard.
Most of the people who rave about how great travel is actually have a miserable time traveling. But they spend so much money on it that they have to try and convince themselves that it wasn't totally miserable. You have to do something in order for the buyer's remorse to not take over your life.
Yes you might meet the love of your life, but you also might never fall in love and be out $2,800. OR a whole lot more than just $2,800. You could be out $2,800 and have herpes. That would be way worse that just staying home and watching a basketball game Friday night. Then ignore your alarm and sleep in all day on Saturday. That is what you call an unbeatable combo.
In all honesty, you should travel if you want to travel. I'm not going to stop you. I'm not going to stop anyone from doing anything. I want to be one of those guys that starts a blog and then becomes a millionaire from it and then just pretends to care about things online when in reality I masturbate 12 times a day and have a gym membership just to hit on girls.
One of the best experiences of my life happened because I wasn't yet aware of how miserable travel is and I went to Denmark and met somebody who would I now consider family and love very much. So if you think you should travel maybe you should. But if you have a miserable time don't lie about it to yourself or anyone else.
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Shot Glass Thought: Your Sign
If I had punched everyone in the face that ever told me about their sign, my hands would be shattered to pieces. I'd be lugging around two useless, clumps of flesh and bone. Yes I am a Leo and I suppose that is explanation enough for why I am hogging all the attention. But do you really think that that is all that there is to knowing people? I don't match up with these types of people because they are pretty fucking stupid. I'm cynical and a dick. I get it, but I don't think that has anything to do with the fucking moon. If I spoke about mystic shit like astrology the way the some people do, I would be committed. If you're into that stuff, then for fucks sake, leave me out of it. Unless you're an Aries, in which case would you like to get a drink later?
Shot Glass Thought: Ideas That Aren't Getting Used, Preachers
I prefer to jot ideas down on scrap pieces of paper and then pile them up in highly noticeable stacks. I like to move the stack to a different part of my apartment and plan on doing something with the material in there but then never do anything with it actually.
Sometimes I like to drive to work listening to Buddhist meditation radio on Pandora and then somewhere about halfway I scream my fucking lungs out as loud as I can for irony's sake. Or maybe for irony's sake. I mean the rice wine, it was a bad joke. I don't know if Eastern religious folks have fake ass drunk preachers the way we do. I'm not judging, I'm just saying what the literal truth is. Some preachers are fake ass drunks. Some preachers are good at what they do, and we appreciate them. But some of them are as sober a mind as I am when I turn on my psychic powers training manual on audible.
Sometimes I like to drive to work listening to Buddhist meditation radio on Pandora and then somewhere about halfway I scream my fucking lungs out as loud as I can for irony's sake. Or maybe for irony's sake. I mean the rice wine, it was a bad joke. I don't know if Eastern religious folks have fake ass drunk preachers the way we do. I'm not judging, I'm just saying what the literal truth is. Some preachers are fake ass drunks. Some preachers are good at what they do, and we appreciate them. But some of them are as sober a mind as I am when I turn on my psychic powers training manual on audible.
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