Shot Glass Thought: My First Bit of Food Science

I think I would want to be a food scientist if they do what I think that they do. I get the impression that they think up things to try with food like, "How can we make tacos out of Milky Way bars?" Then you just try to make tacos out of Milky Way bars. Guess you could mince them up and put them into a taco shell mold and bake them. That might harden them up enough to be able to put some beef down in there. I think if you asked a woman if you could put your beef down in there and then looked at her nether regions you would almost certainly be in some trouble with the law. But you would hold the title of "Most disgusting man in the world." That's nothing to sneeze at man.

Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/

Click on any of these if you want to enjoy some legendary comedy:

Comedy Story: Most Beautiful Woman

The woman that is the most beautiful woman in the world has eyes that could look right into your soul. Those eyes saw a drunken, mentally ill asshole and didn't put him down any at all. She gave that dickhead a fair chance to know her and learn from her. She must have been told by God to do it, because nobody wants to be close to that guy. Oh for fucks sake, I'm that guy. But if you've read some of my other stuff, you already knew that. 

She had a heart that could forgive almost anything, even the evil shitty stuff that I did to her. She made me happier than I've ever been, while I might have made her more miserable than she's ever been. What can I say? My entire family is right after all, I am a fuck up. Dealing with me is like ordering black, regular coffee and having the waiter bring you psychedelic mushroom tea. I am not what is expected and I am not better than what you asked for. 

Her smile so warm that it could melt any cold heart, including my callused stupid one. I was full of rage and booze every day, mad at the world for how it had treated me. Even though there are billions of people on the planet in worse shape than me, I was unwilling to think about it like that. I was selfish, and I still am. My favorite subject is me. And now I've lost my train of thought, but I am thinking about me again. Which is the right train to be on anyway. If only it had enough seats for everyone in world.  

Eventually I realized how special she was and ended my idiotic behavior. I did everything I could to make her mine, but I failed. But of course I failed. I am not good enough! When the big time comedy bucks come rolling in and I make myself into a big shiny star, I still won't be good enough. My ways, my manners, my personality are all corrupted. She was pure like cold creek water cutting through the mountains of North Carolina. Don't drink that water because it is polluted nowadays, and will give you a fearsome bout of diarrhea. She was as pure as the idea of that water, not the reality of drinking it. I on the other hand, am a pyroclastic flow dripping from the asshole of a skyscraper sized demon. 

No woman will ever move me like she did. I had my chance and I didn't make it happen, fair and square. So let's just have some fun and run out the clock on life! Some people never get to meet the love of their life, but I did. She was just as good as I had always hoped for and never deserved. She'll make somebody that is not me happy until eternity. Had she gone with me, she would have been praying every day to go to eternity. I have some time left in my life probably, so I'll just have as much fun as I can while I wait for the end. Fun for me is going to the library, so I don't mean cocaine and hookers when I say fun. But we can do that after the library if there is anyone in the mood for some cocaine and hookers. 

I was more than willing to give up everything and just work to make her life as good as possible. But she didn't want that. I have already thanked her for that. I know it would have ruined my life and eventually depression would have overtaken me if I were to give up on comedy and dreams in general. So she really saved my life twice, once for just being able to tolerate me and twice when she turned my big dramatic, stupid ass offer down. I was far less convincing than any ad that you see on TV. McDonald's ads can trick me into going in to their restaurants again with their perfectly arranged burgers. But when you get there you come back to reality. The food is still just messy, salty, tasty slop. I want that to be the way people describe this website too. Yeah, I'm pretty fucking ambitious.

I convinced myself that she was in love with me, that was the only real fault besides all the manipulation and bastardly deeds. I know it's usually dastardly deeds, but I'm an innovator and I act like a total bastard most of the time. I would have been the greatest mistake in her whole life, she is still perfect and my heart is still in a billion pieces. My heart thought that it was metaphorically going out on the town for the first time. If going out on the town is symbolic of being in love forever. And if that's the case, it did go out on the town for the first time, but mostly remembers the night for being it's first panic attack when it got lost and realized it was actually all alone. 

The best thing about it is that now I have the freedom to act like a total fool on dates. I always had that freedom, I just didn't realize it. Who cares if they work out? I already blew my shot at the most beautiful woman in the world. I can now say literally anything to any date and it won't mean a thing.  

I can do my next 17 to 100 dates acting like Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lecter if I so choose. I might call every date that I have from here on out Clarice, regardless of the actual name. She could be ...Doris or something I don't know. No I'm not going out on a date with a grandmother, I just couldn't think of woman names besides Halle Berry. I don't know any other Halle's so I went with Doris, it's whatever. I go on dates so rarely that 100 of them would probably put me at the end of my life where I would die of natural causes. So this is a happy story with a happy ending..tada. 

Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/ 

Click here if you want to hear the song that I sang and cried to pathetically all night after I realized it was never going to happen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy1lWiHHHFY 

Click on any of these if you want to enjoy some legendary comedy:

Shot Glass Thought: A Samurai and A Knife Collector

If two men are both 30 years old and of similar appearance, then the distinguishing factors in evaluating who they are fall on what they do. If one of them is a pocket knife connoisseur and the other one plays with a toy katana at anime conventions, then we know which one of them is autistic. But we also know that one of them is incredibly boring, where as the autistic fella will entertain us with all manner of abstractions and interesting quirks. Hopefully the samurai makes a great living programming apps for cell phones or something like that. It seems like with that character type they are either billionaire or totally broke. The knife collector could be a history teacher or construction worker. But definitely no potential for billionaire. So for all the gold digging whores out there, don't judge a cock by it's cover. 

Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/

Click on any of these if you want to enjoy some legendary comedy:

Shot Glass Thought: Don't Wanna Meet Advanced Aliens

Going to space would be a life altering, amazing and formative experience. It would humble me with the scope and scale of the world that we live in. Leaving my planet for any amount of time would be a truly awe inspiring experience. I just need to know, why do people want to go to Mars? I would only want to land on another planet if we already knew that there were aliens there. Not superior to us aliens either, I don't want to get my mind read and my life judged by some extra terrestrial right before I'm vaporized. "So what if I made a life of Cheetos, pizza bites, porn and jokes? What's it to you? Yeah you probably didn't do all the work to make your civilization so powerful and advanced. What did you build the whole thing by yourself?" Jackass aliens.

Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/

This was the article that got me thinking: https://www.digitaltrends.com/news/elon-musk-spacex-starship-prototype-rocket-launch-moon-mars/

Click on any of these if you want to enjoy some legendary comedy:

Movie Reviews: The Heretics (2017)

This is a really entertaining movie. In a sea of crappy, uninteresting horror movies, this is a pretty fun one. There is a really obsessive and important to the plot character in this movie. Kind of reminded me of myself when I went about searching the internet for every bit of information I could find on a girl that I spoke with for about 12 minutes once. What's that you say? This isn't my fucking diary and you want me to keep that shit to myself? Well whatever.

I think the lead character should have shown a bit more emotion, she seemed pretty dry. The range she demonstrated versus a character like Jack Torrance from The Shining is like comparing a pencil sharpener to a machete. So it's a bit of a let down in that department. I watch The Shining at least once a week and sometimes more. So yes, I do compare everything to it.

The movie is not a landmark success in all the filming universe, but it is a good deal of fun. It's basically what I would imagine going on a walk in the woods and then stumbling onto a cult of alien worshipers would be like. I'm still hoping and holding out for that experience. I still live in the mountains so there is a chance.

I'm just now realizing that I'm not really sure what makes a movie not a classic, so I don't really know why this one is not. I guess the acting and plot and blah blah blah who cares. If I really understood all that stuff then I'd be that dork at the gym that wants to teach you his diet. This guy is not even in better shape than I am. Okay maybe a little better shape, but I still don't want to give up my unhealthy lifestyle so that I can look marginally better.

I felt excitement at different points in the movie. The movie doesn't waste it's violence either, every kill has some kind of weight to it and seems at least purposeful. There was one really good scare in the movie. But it gets washed away by being a dumb dream sequence. That doesn't ruin the experience by any means. I wouldn't condemn all tap water just because I nearly choke to death on it once per week.

The demon character looked really cool, the movie was intense and had that one pretty good scare. Watch it for that and not for subtext or meaning or something like that. Think of this movie as beer. If you are the kind of guy that sniffs his beer before you try it, then this movie is probably not for you. But if you're a bud and bud lite guzzler, you'll enjoy yourself with this movie.

Click here if you have a hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/

Video Game Reviews: Brothers in Arms Double Time Wii (2008)

This is a collection of two Brothers in Arms games that are adapted to the Wii. But neither one of them are adapted to fun. It's games like these that make me think that I should be spending my money on a used car on Facebook yard sales instead.

The beginning and end of these two games for me, is boredom. This is one of the most cardinal of video game sins. The other being that a game is unplayable. That is the one thing that you can't forgive of a video game. Not that I beat either game. Couldn't bring myself to play more than 4 hours total of both games. Maybe that will piss someone off that I didn't give them a fair shot, but if you don't grab my attention before the 4 hour mark in literally anything, then I'm out.

The box says that the games are based on a true story, but that really doesn't matter. What you have here is a couple of story driven, ww2, squad based games. That would be perfectly okay with me if there was tons of raw shooting and action and every scene made my toes grip the inside of my shoes even harder, but it doesn't play out like that. It's just uninteresting and archaic feeling. I don't play video games to learn about history, I play them for fun. If someone recommends you this game, it's because they are sadists and probably work as student loan officers because they are obsessed with authority but aren't fit enough to be a cop.

Now I am the guy that said that he had fun playing Far Cry: Vengeance. So take this and all my reviews for what they are worth. But these two games just are not fun. I am obsessing over that quality because that's all a game should be, fun. I am aware that I am obsessed with finding real love, while still employing Tinder as my primary means for meeting women. I'm complex, what can I say?

I wish that I cared about the story and characters in this game. But I don't and maybe that's something that I should think about. All the games that have less story to deal with that I've played recently have been my favorites. I've seen more interesting twitter feuds than the story of these games and way more action in Pokemon battles. If you can't make your all out war game more gripping than Pidgey vs Pikachu then you have a problem.

I've saved the important details for evaluating a game for the last paragraph because I'm cheeky like that. The action is slow paced, the gameplay is archaic and the sound is weak. If you're totally obsessed with WW2 stuff then give this game a shot, it is cheap. But keep your expectations low. I could only see myself ever playing this again on accident. Like someone tricked me into playing it by telling me that it was something else.

Comedy Story: You Don't Get Sculpture

A lot of people think they understand sculpture or the arts in general. But if you really boil it down, almost nobody does. The page that I'm going to link to at the bottom of this post will create reactions in people that will vary mostly from "What a waste of tax payer dollars" to "What does all this weird shit mean?". Another favorite of wannabe art critics is to point out that the sculpture of today looks nothing like the stuff that they studied in their one mandatory art history class. You might think that learning about art is as simple as "This one here is purty, this'n over here ain't too purty and I think they said it was about vaginas or something."

Diving into the world of art is like going through puberty a second time, only just mentally this time. You'll experience so many things that you thought were impossible and the world will have a vivacity to it that you never knew it could have. But you will still hate things about it and run into a ton of frustration. For me that frustration was the constant awkward boners. Had that problem in art class and puberty. Hmmm...anyway.

Everyone is allowed to have an opinion on the arts, even though it's a subject much too deep for most to even have an ice cube's chance in hell at fully grasping. Yes please do inform the artists of how decayed and worthless their life's work is in comparison to things that you don't fully understand. Michelangelo's David is more than just really realistic. There were thousands of choices to be made by the artist when bringing that piece into existence. The realism was the measure of skill from that day, not the end all be all standard for every sculpture there after. Let's try to appreciate the artists of our own day, a day when you can be mugged walking out of a Pizza Hut. They are trying to beautify and speak to the human experience in a world such as this. It was no easier in the old days, but that doesn't make it any less depressing.  

You can study art history, make and sell your own art and curate a museum and still not have a total understanding of the art world. Sculpture by itself is plenty complex enough, as most people when they look at sculpture today will only say "That looks weird man." I get as uncomfortable listening to people rant about the state of art today as I did when Allegiant airlines flew me over the sea for a bit. Planes are supposed to have turbulence, but on there I felt like I would be soon feeling the motion of the ocean. But probably only the cataclysm of the crash.   

The truth is, weird is the reaction of the uniformed. I don't know anything about being a woman, so when they complain about "woman only" issues at work I just tune out. Because my dick doesn't bleed and my stomach doesn't carry human beings. It barely carries what I've just ate if I have to listen to very much "woman only" talk.  

Sculpture has moved passed the days of Michelangelo. Sure, he will always be the definitive sculptor. But is it really rational for all sculptors from now until infinity to just try and replicate his work? When you say that the art of today is not as good as yester year, you're saying that you want to witness a lifetime of cheap imitations. This is a world where you can buy anything anywhere. You can purchase pineapples probably by the thousands on Ebay. The art of the day should reflect that oddity in some way.  

Cities should spend more money on sculptures, ambitious and inspiring projects that would beautify the cities and symbolize the power and culture of the city. All of that new work should be new work, creations that tell the story of who we were at that time. We don't want to tell the story of Renaissance Italy in Birmingham Alabama.

Click here if you have hobby that you would like to turn into a business: https://e8b2fa0bng3qzbv8xafqmnbo9p.hop.clickbank.net/

The link that I mentioned earlier: https://www.lowellsun.com/2019/09/17/this-sculpture-is-a-testament-of-the-citys-enduring-commitment-to-the-arts/

Click on any of these if you want to enjoy some legendary comedy: