Having a drink is the kind of thing that can take you from easy going to ruined in only a couple of hours. If you don't believe me then get drunk like you did at your high school parties at a casino. You will be homeless, unemployed and performing sexual favors for a living before the end of the week. I might be over exaggerating or fear mongering. But are you really willing to take that chance just so you can call me a bullshitter? Everyone calls me that anyway and they don't have to reduce their lives to ashes.
Alcohol is a psychoactive, addictive drug that can ruin your life. Drinking until you blackout night after night is not living it up.... okay well it sort of is. But waking up in urine is not living it up. If you passed out outside, then someone besides you might have pissed all over you. Not exactly glamorous eh?
Alcohol is too well integrated into our culture and society for it to be done away with. It shouldn't be done away with either. It is amazing! It's amazing for those that don't get addicted to it. It's pretty much the ultimate relaxer. If you work, and we all do, well even if you don't work, alcohol can make you think that there is nothing wrong with your life. No matter who you are, there are so many things wrong with you. You might be the finest used car salesman in Mississippi but if you can't get off with having your wife viciously stomp your ballbag then you still have something to work on.
Alcohol is a drug that frees you from your inhibitions and anxieties. That is until they come racing back at you much harder than you ever planned for or imagined. The anxiety that you'll experience as you sober up from your all day, all night bender will make you pine for death. But Death is a mother fucker and he won't kill your dumbass, he'll just let you wreck your 98 honda civic into a family of five......five goats after you smash through a wooden enclosure. I was going to end that after the first five but I don't want to write something that ruins the rest of my day. Just couldn't sell myself on the comedic value of a real life tragedy that happens all the time. If you are one of those animal freaks that thinks that smashing the goat family is just as tragic then go fuck yourself. Goats ain't shit man.
Hangovers are the sure sign that what you did the day before wasn't good for you. Sometimes a hangover can be so bad that it will make you think that you might be dying. And yet, alcohol is so amazing that most people will get right back into the saddle at the very next opportunity. Abusing alcohol is like making love to an alien that is more powerful than you and you know that it is destroying you but you don't mind because it's so intoxicatingly good. By alien I mean you drunk fucked some psychotic bitch at an anime convention that your nerdy friends asked you to come too. Now you need a new phone number and a new place to live because this bitch was expecting something a little more long term. You also have to spend most of an afternoon blocking her on all forms of social media.
I stopped drinking for 9 months. I stopped because I needed too and I started back at it because I again felt like I needed to. I've been told numerous times that confessing these two facts are signs that I have a problem. I think the only problem is that I told people those two facts in the first place. As long as it stays with me, nobody will notice me staggering around work and all the inventory shortages from the liquor closet.
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