Comedy Story: The Pointlessness of Greed

Greed is when you live for and are fueled by nothing more than the pursuit of extra material shit that you don't need. If you work 88 and a 1/2 hours a week and have no family and no real goals other than accumulation, then you are already losing to greed. When your fatass friend comes over uninvited and stays for fucking ever and eats most of what you have in your place, then the bastard is greedy when it comes to your time and when it comes to food. He's also a selfish bastard. You can tell him that to his face and then get yourself some new friends. Just kidding, he might have some other redeeming qualities. But I doubt it.

I fucking hate greed in myself. If you tell me that I can have some of your fries then I might take a fistful of your fries. That is fucked up. Why do I do that? It's like a power thing for me. You could have fries with no salt that haven't been deep fried long enough and I'll still hog them if you give me a chance. It's fucked up man. I will hog your squishy, under-cooked, unseasoned french fries just to symbolically communicate that I'm the man around here.

Rational self interest is the best mindset for every individual. But rational self interest does not involve something like "I want to start an evil corporation that owns the sun and only rations out sunlight to places that can pay our gigantic fee! muahahaha." Which is how big business seems to vibe most of the time. 

Not everyone wants or needs all the exact same things. Excluding things like air, water and food. I don't want to be a professor of economics. But I do want to know enough about economics that I'll be able to realize that if I have a ton of things that nobody cares about, it won't matter how cheap I acquired them. There just won't be a demand for a giant number of worthless things. That's all the depth that I need in order to go about my life. The dark web salesman that emailed me all last week almost had me convinced that I should buy his 7 tons of finger nail clippings in order to start my famous sculpture made out of....finger nail clippings. But I backed out of the deal at the last second. I thought it would be a bad idea when I remembered that I don't know how to make sculptures.

I forgive greediness in others because I know that there is plenty of evil in me. I am the kind of guy that could start the day by agreeing to volunteer at the nursing home and end the day screaming my lungs out at the volunteer next to me because he/she "Doesn't even fucking care!" Caring is not a competitive endeavor. If you go to that shit then you care more than the people that don't go. I'm just an asshole. And I never volunteer anywhere. Because I'm an asshole.

I want people to see that greed is a waste of time. A total waste unless you have a plan for all that you are acquiring. I'm not talking about a social justice cause because that shit is pointless. I mean for the wealthy to plan on owning a country. If you can accumulate more money than the third world combined then just buy the third world. If you're going to be a self destructive money crazed maniac, then go all out. Don't be a pussy and spend it all on yachts and penthouse apartments. Purchase an exploit your own impoverished country! Now that's ambition.

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