Shot Glass Thought: Baller Status
I drink my diet Sunkist out of a wine glass because I'm a baller. But yall already know that. It's not surprising. If I went to your bar and ordered breast milk on the rocks...I'd still be a baller. The bartender that says "Coming right up" and doesn't react at all is the biggest baller though.
Movie Review: The Terminator (1980)
I had drank my 9th and 10th drinks of the day during the viewing of this movie. That was awhile ago. So my memory on this might be a bit shaky. Anyway Arnold Swartzawhatever goes back in time to try and cockblock our hero of the story, your friend, an actual mother fucker. Mfer is sent from the future to impregnate the mother of his friend so that they can all save the world. The mother is the actual hero of the story but I don't want to give too much away for the folks like me that are clueless to the pop culture that we are all supposed to have seen. By the way the LOR movies are boring, bloated garbage. More on that some other time. Star Wars is pretty shit too. And I don't like the Marvel movies really.
The indestructibility of the Terminator is pretty awesome to watch. There is some stop motion in the film, I am always in favor of that. The romance doesn't seem unrealistic or really all that creepy in spite of my plot synopsis. The music is good, the action is great and the characters are really interesting. If I had to come to terms with being the savior of all mankind then I would probably kill myself or hide in a bear cave in the mountains. I don't have heroic aspirations to say the least. Anyway it's a great film and if you haven't seen it then see it.
The indestructibility of the Terminator is pretty awesome to watch. There is some stop motion in the film, I am always in favor of that. The romance doesn't seem unrealistic or really all that creepy in spite of my plot synopsis. The music is good, the action is great and the characters are really interesting. If I had to come to terms with being the savior of all mankind then I would probably kill myself or hide in a bear cave in the mountains. I don't have heroic aspirations to say the least. Anyway it's a great film and if you haven't seen it then see it.
Shot Glass Thought: Getting High in Public
The only drug that the public will accept you getting high on in public is alcohol. I don't think that there will ever be heroin pubs. Seasonal heroin types and shit like that. "Come in for our five dollar hits of October Smack!" Not gonna happen.
Movie Review: Rosemary's Baby (1968)
This movie is the ultimate study of paranoia and subtle horror. Maybe there are better examples of subtlety in horror movies but I can't think of one right now. There are so many violations of trust in this movie, so many situations that make you question whether there is a conspiracy or if Rose, the main character is just losing it. The paranoia and isolation of the film bothered me so much the first time that I saw it that I didn't sleep well for about 3 days.
If this movie accurately portrays what it was like to be a woman in the 60's, and I wouldn't know. I was neither woman nor existing in the 1960's. I am not well read on the societal pressures of women in any time period. Because if you have the free will to decide what you want to read, why on Earth would you read that shit? What I'm getting at is that everything I've learned about the world since my high school graduation has come from news headlines, horror movies and jokes. So I'm basically this timeline's contemporary Socrates.
So I don't know what it's like to be a woman, be abused by a romantic partner, that's in this movie btw, and I don't appreciate proper study material. These are the things that I've learned about myself from watching this movie again and writing about it. I watched it with two of my best friends and they were really into the movie. Scared the shit out of both of them the way that it did me on my first go round. So I recommend the movie, but if you've been abused by a partner or if you suffer some serious paranoia, then maybe give this one a pass. I think it could lose it's entertainment value for someone with that background. Anyway, much love and I'll see you all on the next one.
If this movie accurately portrays what it was like to be a woman in the 60's, and I wouldn't know. I was neither woman nor existing in the 1960's. I am not well read on the societal pressures of women in any time period. Because if you have the free will to decide what you want to read, why on Earth would you read that shit? What I'm getting at is that everything I've learned about the world since my high school graduation has come from news headlines, horror movies and jokes. So I'm basically this timeline's contemporary Socrates.
So I don't know what it's like to be a woman, be abused by a romantic partner, that's in this movie btw, and I don't appreciate proper study material. These are the things that I've learned about myself from watching this movie again and writing about it. I watched it with two of my best friends and they were really into the movie. Scared the shit out of both of them the way that it did me on my first go round. So I recommend the movie, but if you've been abused by a partner or if you suffer some serious paranoia, then maybe give this one a pass. I think it could lose it's entertainment value for someone with that background. Anyway, much love and I'll see you all on the next one.
Shot Glass Thought: Black Widows
Let's all ignore dating and romance advice in general and just do what comes naturally. This will help to weed out all... the rapists. Police work in that category will be so much easier. Maybe with all the rapists they arrest, they can release of few of the harmless pot dealers that they have locked up.
If a girl watches you sleep and that creeps you out, but pretty much that's it as far as negatives...then keep that bitch. She is perfect. If she watches you sleep as she holds a kitchen knife to your throat, then leave that bitch. The only problem is...she might be really hot. Some guys are dumb enough to die for hot. So maybe you should brainwash yourself into being gay. There was only one Jeffrey Dahmer compared to thousands of black widows.
If a girl watches you sleep and that creeps you out, but pretty much that's it as far as negatives...then keep that bitch. She is perfect. If she watches you sleep as she holds a kitchen knife to your throat, then leave that bitch. The only problem is...she might be really hot. Some guys are dumb enough to die for hot. So maybe you should brainwash yourself into being gay. There was only one Jeffrey Dahmer compared to thousands of black widows.
Movie Review: Doctor Sleep (2019)
This movie featured several re-creations of scenes from The Shining(1980). Those scenes felt like cheap knockoffs. In the same way that a similar looking actor dressed as Jack Torrance and looking like Jack Torrance still has nowhere near the impact of actual Jack Torrance.
The main problem with this film is that it succeeds as a spooky ghost tale but not much else. It is not a classic and it diminishes the shine, pun intended, of the original film. This movie is more like King's writing and less like Kubrick's film. Which is why it is just an entertaining spook fest and not a masterpiece.
My opinion on this movie and pretty much most opinions of this movie really comes down to who you like more: King or Kubrick. I prefer Kubrick's work overall. Sure Doctor Sleep follows some of the plot points of Kubrick's film more than the original novel. But it still lacks the subtlety and dread of the masterpiece. Steam eating ghouls that can be killed via western style shootout and car accidents are not what the 1980 film was about. So this was a good movie and you should rent it when it's out, but it's no masterpiece.
The main problem with this film is that it succeeds as a spooky ghost tale but not much else. It is not a classic and it diminishes the shine, pun intended, of the original film. This movie is more like King's writing and less like Kubrick's film. Which is why it is just an entertaining spook fest and not a masterpiece.
My opinion on this movie and pretty much most opinions of this movie really comes down to who you like more: King or Kubrick. I prefer Kubrick's work overall. Sure Doctor Sleep follows some of the plot points of Kubrick's film more than the original novel. But it still lacks the subtlety and dread of the masterpiece. Steam eating ghouls that can be killed via western style shootout and car accidents are not what the 1980 film was about. So this was a good movie and you should rent it when it's out, but it's no masterpiece.
Comedy Story: I Won't Move My Hand (Special)
I got the call from Lydia, John was back at the farm. Cocksucker was doing what he always did, screaming, breaking shit. This time it was different. He was armed and he was drunk. I grabbed my coat and hit the road in my 07 Ford Focus. The 08 had improved handling but the 07 was familiar to me. I knew it and it knew me. Driving this beauty was like kissing your wife on your 60th wedding anniversary. Didn’t take me long to get to the farm where true to his nature, John was screaming and waving his gun around. Looked like a .357 magnum from where I was standing. I left the car on and the radio playing. It was Summer Wind by Sinatra, what a classic.
“John, do we really have to keep doing this ever fuckin’ weekend?” I asked.
“Hey motherfucker I wanna see both of your hands and I want you to get them up high! You hear me motherfucker!?”
“Yeah I ain’t deaf, and I ain’t gonna show you my other hand.”
“Well…Why the fuck not?”
“Don’t think about that John you have bigger things to worry about...well, not much bigger.”
“Like what?”
“Well by now Liddie and the girls have probably called the police station. You being drunk, armed and angry. Plus stupid, I forgot stupid.”
“Only one stupid is you and that’s cause you won’t show me your other fucking hand! Now get it up!”
“My hand is right where it needs to be John. You need to listen to me when I say that you’re running out of time.”
“No you are motherfucker! I’m fine…I’m doing real good matterafact cause I’m gonna shoot your dumbass! Haha what’ya think of that?”
“You could shoot me John. Or my hand could come outta this pocket…and you might not have enough time to shoot me. I might have something in this pocket that you don’t want to come out. I might not have enough time, it’s true. You might be too fast, or you might not. But either way, you’re running out of time.”
“You don’t scare me man…I don’t think you even have a gun.”
“Maybe I don’t. Maybe you’re right. But if you keep pointing that gun at me you might just fool around and end up shooting me.”
“Yeah I might just motherfucker! That might be the best thing to happen to me in a long, long time.” He pulled the hammer back on his revolver and grinned.
“John the way I see it, the cops are on the way. So you could shoot me and I’d probably die. That might make you feel real good, but only for a short time. You couldn’t enjoy it too long. The cops are mighty slow so you could probably shoot me and still have some time to make a run for it.”
“Yeah…I recon I might.”
“But if you do that, even these slow cops, that are as dumb as you surely are will find you John. There just ain’t many places you can go up here in these mountains. Police find you up there, that would be the best thing for ya.”
“How so?”
“Well if the cops find ya then it means you weren’t ate by a …mountain lion or a bear…or something else.”
“Wha-what the hell do you mean something else?”
“Well nobody really knows what all is up in them mountains John. You know as well as I do that a lot of people get lost in there where even the dogs and volunteers can’t sniff em’ out.”
“Well…I ugh, well I guess that I… ought not shoot you after all.”
“The best thing would be to put that gun away, forget about me and my other hand and leave this place.”
“Yeah…you’re making a lot of sense Tex. I guess I will put my gun away…long as you don’t plan to shoot me when I do.”
“I already told you John, I don’t wanna bring this hand out of it’s pocket for anybody, even you.” Lydia and the girls were watching from the window, their eyes full of fear. Sirens rang out in the distance and John lowered, then holstered his .357.
“I recon you’re a better man than I figured you for Tex. I’ll just wait for the cops now. Nobody got shot anyhow, couldn’t come down on me too hard, could they?” He slumped onto the wood splittin’ stump and ran his hands through his hair.
“I don’t figure they will John. Nobody got shot after all.”
The cops took John in but before they did, detective Luke Cryasight asked me about my gun.
“I wanna know if you bluffed em’ Tex. Did you really have a piece on ya?”
“Shit no, this coat pocket and the britches I have on have a custom designed tunnel… to my cock. I was flapping my meat hammer for all I was worth the whole damn time. Coping mechanism, you see. I don’t do too well with stressful situations…Well if that’s all ya need from me detective, I’ll be going.” I bid the detective good night, the disturbed and confused look on his face told me that he was finished with his inquiries.
“John, do we really have to keep doing this ever fuckin’ weekend?” I asked.
“Hey motherfucker I wanna see both of your hands and I want you to get them up high! You hear me motherfucker!?”
“Yeah I ain’t deaf, and I ain’t gonna show you my other hand.”
“Well…Why the fuck not?”
“Don’t think about that John you have bigger things to worry about...well, not much bigger.”
“Like what?”
“Well by now Liddie and the girls have probably called the police station. You being drunk, armed and angry. Plus stupid, I forgot stupid.”
“Only one stupid is you and that’s cause you won’t show me your other fucking hand! Now get it up!”
“My hand is right where it needs to be John. You need to listen to me when I say that you’re running out of time.”
“No you are motherfucker! I’m fine…I’m doing real good matterafact cause I’m gonna shoot your dumbass! Haha what’ya think of that?”
“You could shoot me John. Or my hand could come outta this pocket…and you might not have enough time to shoot me. I might have something in this pocket that you don’t want to come out. I might not have enough time, it’s true. You might be too fast, or you might not. But either way, you’re running out of time.”
“You don’t scare me man…I don’t think you even have a gun.”
“Maybe I don’t. Maybe you’re right. But if you keep pointing that gun at me you might just fool around and end up shooting me.”
“Yeah I might just motherfucker! That might be the best thing to happen to me in a long, long time.” He pulled the hammer back on his revolver and grinned.
“John the way I see it, the cops are on the way. So you could shoot me and I’d probably die. That might make you feel real good, but only for a short time. You couldn’t enjoy it too long. The cops are mighty slow so you could probably shoot me and still have some time to make a run for it.”
“Yeah…I recon I might.”
“But if you do that, even these slow cops, that are as dumb as you surely are will find you John. There just ain’t many places you can go up here in these mountains. Police find you up there, that would be the best thing for ya.”
“How so?”
“Well if the cops find ya then it means you weren’t ate by a …mountain lion or a bear…or something else.”
“Wha-what the hell do you mean something else?”
“Well nobody really knows what all is up in them mountains John. You know as well as I do that a lot of people get lost in there where even the dogs and volunteers can’t sniff em’ out.”
“Well…I ugh, well I guess that I… ought not shoot you after all.”
“The best thing would be to put that gun away, forget about me and my other hand and leave this place.”
“Yeah…you’re making a lot of sense Tex. I guess I will put my gun away…long as you don’t plan to shoot me when I do.”
“I already told you John, I don’t wanna bring this hand out of it’s pocket for anybody, even you.” Lydia and the girls were watching from the window, their eyes full of fear. Sirens rang out in the distance and John lowered, then holstered his .357.
“I recon you’re a better man than I figured you for Tex. I’ll just wait for the cops now. Nobody got shot anyhow, couldn’t come down on me too hard, could they?” He slumped onto the wood splittin’ stump and ran his hands through his hair.
“I don’t figure they will John. Nobody got shot after all.”
The cops took John in but before they did, detective Luke Cryasight asked me about my gun.
“I wanna know if you bluffed em’ Tex. Did you really have a piece on ya?”
“Shit no, this coat pocket and the britches I have on have a custom designed tunnel… to my cock. I was flapping my meat hammer for all I was worth the whole damn time. Coping mechanism, you see. I don’t do too well with stressful situations…Well if that’s all ya need from me detective, I’ll be going.” I bid the detective good night, the disturbed and confused look on his face told me that he was finished with his inquiries.
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