First of all, the movie has Laurence Fishbourne and Sam Neil in it. That should be enough to make any film fan weak in the knees. Imagine if the movie would have been Jurassic Park meets The Matrix in SPACE! Now that would have been a sure fire hit.
So I've heard, like everyone else on the internet, that the movie is highly edited from it's original cut. They took out a lot of the horrible maiming and mutilation. Well, I agree with that decision. I don't give a fuck about the artist's original vision if the original vision would have made the movie harder to watch.
What important meaning am I supposed to surmise from a bunch of glorified gore and gross out shit? I've seen the movie clown movie from 2017 I think where the clown smears shit all over a restaurant bathroom before going on a killing rampage. I didn't find any meaning in that movie and I don't think there is any meaning in the suffering of humans in general. So yeah, I'm pretty much a Philosopher today. Eat your heart out, ......college. Yeah, mother fucking college can suck it.
There were several times where all I could think was "what a beautifully shot movie." Such a variety of things to look at on what I would normally imagine to be a bland office style workplace. I mean, it's a space ship designed for people to travel to the edge of Hell in or some shit like that. I wouldn't imagine that there would be a whole lot of creativity needed in the interior designing of a ship like that. But they came through with it anyway.
The Doctor and his wife keep meeting in weird places and she usually scares the shit out of him. The ship becomes possessed by the Devil or something like that and everyone on board is at risk of having a flashback to their evil, worse times and deeds.
Eventually the ship turns one of the characters into a slashier version of Pinhead from Hellraiser. He's all hyped to go show everyone what Hell is like. How are there any characters evil enough to be hyped about the trip to Hell? Wouldn't any sort of visit to Hell suck? No matter how evil and sadistic you are, or who you know there, I doubt anybody really enjoys an eternity of torture and evil. Maybe that's just me.
Anyway, I had a flashback of my own while watching the movie. It was to a time when I really believed that life would just get better and better. But it turns out that I was just spinning my wheels and I'm just as alone as I always thought. Maybe that's how Morgan Freeman feels in the world of professional voice over. Can't say for sure, I don't know the guy. Anyway, I recommend the movie, it was pretty good.
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Movie Review: Joker (2019)
What a lame movie, where was Batman? If you like movies with Batman in them, then you should watch Lego Batman instead. Another plus from watching that movie over this one is that you won't want to paint your face like a clown and then blow your own brains out as the credits roll.
Can't believe a guy named Joker never made any funny jokes. I went to the movie hoping to steal some really good jokes to reuse on here but now I just have to review the movie. What a let down.
Who was the romance in the movie designed for? A fucking detective? I didn't realize that people could film scenes in their heads that aren't really happening. That must take up a lot of whatever the brain considers to be CPU. Probably part of the reason why the guy was so angry all the time.
So his mother didn't care about him, and then he kills her. What the shit? If you're a middle child like me then you already know that nobody cares about you. That doesn't mean that we're gonna make the next Thanksgiving look like a Mafia shootout.
So he had a hard time with his pills and the system let him down. Well, nah yeah that's pretty much how it is. He reacted the way you should if you're a mentally ill, abused child, cigarette addict. The cigarettes might have been his only real issue. He smoked enough to get lung cancer in this one movie. Imagine if there is a sequel. I wonder if having a complete lunatic smoke cigarettes for the entirety of your blockbuster movie is good for cigarette sales. Like "Hey I want to be just like that guy!"
Movie blew. Not a funny movie, or full of fight scenes with Batman. There was no Harley Quinn either. Of course, I guess if you like learning a little something more about the human condition then you might like this movie. I guess if you wanted to witness the desperation and hopelessness of losing your mind first hand, then you might take away a meaningful experience away from this movie. Idk, I had to watch golden retriever videos on YouTube for 2 hours after the movie just to keep from curling into a ball and weeping. Sometimes I hug the covers in a big bunch and pretend like I'm hugging an actual golden retriever. I'll explain my fixation with goldens in a later entry. Anyway, have a good one.
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Can't believe a guy named Joker never made any funny jokes. I went to the movie hoping to steal some really good jokes to reuse on here but now I just have to review the movie. What a let down.
Who was the romance in the movie designed for? A fucking detective? I didn't realize that people could film scenes in their heads that aren't really happening. That must take up a lot of whatever the brain considers to be CPU. Probably part of the reason why the guy was so angry all the time.
So his mother didn't care about him, and then he kills her. What the shit? If you're a middle child like me then you already know that nobody cares about you. That doesn't mean that we're gonna make the next Thanksgiving look like a Mafia shootout.
So he had a hard time with his pills and the system let him down. Well, nah yeah that's pretty much how it is. He reacted the way you should if you're a mentally ill, abused child, cigarette addict. The cigarettes might have been his only real issue. He smoked enough to get lung cancer in this one movie. Imagine if there is a sequel. I wonder if having a complete lunatic smoke cigarettes for the entirety of your blockbuster movie is good for cigarette sales. Like "Hey I want to be just like that guy!"
Movie blew. Not a funny movie, or full of fight scenes with Batman. There was no Harley Quinn either. Of course, I guess if you like learning a little something more about the human condition then you might like this movie. I guess if you wanted to witness the desperation and hopelessness of losing your mind first hand, then you might take away a meaningful experience away from this movie. Idk, I had to watch golden retriever videos on YouTube for 2 hours after the movie just to keep from curling into a ball and weeping. Sometimes I hug the covers in a big bunch and pretend like I'm hugging an actual golden retriever. I'll explain my fixation with goldens in a later entry. Anyway, have a good one.
Click here to check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
A Few Minutes of My Time #3
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Short Funny Story: Female Opinions Do Not Matter
Okay so neither do male opinions. I picked this title because I thought it had a better chance of pissing someone off. If one thing pisses one person off, then it usually makes another one laugh. Everything that I say and write is to make people laugh, it's a simple life.
What men think of women is useless. What women think of men is useless. We are going to fuck each other regardless of our idiotic opinions. If you read magazines, Internet articles or watch videos about better understanding the opposite gender, then you are wasting your life.
Women come and go. Hopefully they've also been cumming and going, but that's just a cheap joke. Your wife or husband is not the perfect one that you love forever, they are the one that you'll just try to be with forever. You'll love that person for a very small percentage of the time you two are together. Don't believe me? Ask one of the millions of recently divorced people.
So if all you want from life is to have a good job, wife and kids then go for it. But just know that you have sacrificed your inner dreamer. You never took the chance to be that one thing that you really wanted to be and that's cowardly.
Additionally, if you are a woman and all you want is to have children but you still put yourself through a huge career, that's cowardly too. If you can honestly say that your ultimate dream is to be a family man or woman, then be that. But don't try to also be career focused.
The default answer for a man or a woman is always the wrong answer. More people need to take the time to try and be what they really want to be. I know this issue is deeper than how I've treated it. But I've written this in the server station at my work on a slow day. We all have our limitations, mine is gainful employment.
Shot Glass Thought: Running With The Devil
Van Halen is not a group that I am all that familiar with. But I do know that they have at least one masterpiece. Running With The Devil is an amazing song. Any broad on Tinder with that as their anthem is the broad for me. What's that? They don't like that term anymore? Well I don't fucking like Snapchat but if we're gonna see each other naked before we're in person, it's really the only way to go. Do you want me to arrange a PowerPoint demonstration detailing all the different angles and features of my peeder and then email it to you with a discreet subject line like "Business Proposal"? No, you want a quick, out of focus snapshot of what might be my dong. This is the world we live in.
Shot Glass Thought: Could've Been a Cornerback
I was just thinking about the time that I wanted to play football. I wanted so badly to be a cornerback, that's CORNERBACK. The all caps is because my uncle, father and mother all yelled at me saying that I could wish and dream all that I want, I would never be a quarterback. I already knew that, and didn't care because I wanted to intercept the ball. I wanted to return punts for touchdowns and work on being the quickest, fastest guy on the field. I had played soccer all my life to that point and defense was already my specialty. I thought that my goal of becoming a cornerback was a reasonable one. I was also really small and weak. But also really fast and had good instincts. So anyway, I should have just went for it and not communicated with anyone but myself and my coaches. I did intercept our quarterback once in practice and he hit me so hard for doing so that my helmet came off. Then he tried to help me up and tell me what a good read it was, but I was knocked unconscious. No checks for concussion, they just woke me up and set me playing again. It's tough being a kid. Besides that I was constantly being made fun of at school for making good grades. Constantly being nagged to work harder at school when I was at home. I don't miss that part of life one bit. Guess I should be thankful, all of that bullshit did make me into one hell of a bartender.
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Click here if you want to check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriberartender.
Short Funny Story: The Tech Guy For the Family
My family believed that just because I could hook up an N64 console as a kid that I would be an IT professional by the time I was... pretty much the age that I am now. I am a bartender instead, and I definitely made the right call between the two options. Sure the IT guy might make more money than me, but his life sucks. My life is great. I get to wake up pretty much whenever I want, there are no women that want a guy that won't commit to anything so I always have time to spend on things that actually matter. I'm saying that spending all your time on trying to get a mate that you'll hate in 7 months is a waste of time. Just to clarify.
It is not that hard, and definitely not impressive to have a child that can hook up an N64. It's like 3 cables, 2 button presses and the flip of a switch. Not prodigy level stuff there. They told me that it was prodigy level stuff, and that made me into an arrogant kid. Being arrogant made life harder, so I should not have been told that I was super smart. Because I'm not. Thank God I finally know that and can just keep to my cocktail recipes and video games and dick jokes.
It was nice to have someone who could hook things up and be able to talk with customer service when things broke. Nice for my family, not nice for me as I was that person. Customer service reps do not want to talk to a child. Especially not a little shit who has been told that he is a technological genius because he learned how to reset the Wi-fi.
My father is an experienced, life long residential electrician. My mother has a Master's degree. How was it that I had to fix every electronic and piece of technology across my entire adolescence? Those are the resumes of two pretty smart people. My dad is good with his hands and my mom could obviously read. So why did all the repairs always fall on me? Because it was something that they were unfamiliar with. My dad can barely type 10 wpm and my mother went through all of college without ever using a computer. So technology scared them. Like the first cave man that was killed via stoning for his mastery of fire. I was the one who mastered the VCR.
Well it was good that they gave me that to do. I did enjoy fixing our family tech and it gave me a sense of approval and capability. Even though sometimes there was unfair blaming and insistence that I call customer service again even though I had no clue what to do next, and the agents refused to speak with a child. But that prepared me for the unfairness of life. Where all you have are two groups of ignorant, unrelated people yelling at you to do something when you've already done all that you can do. There is always some bullshitter that just believes "intuitively" I suppose that there is more that can be done. No matter how hard you try, there will always be more shit to do for some asshole.
I learned a lot by always being Mr. Fix it for my family. But I never learned how much is the right amount of bleach to use when cleaning the fucking bathroom. I must've used 200% of what's needed because my entire apartment stinks of it and I might pass out soon. It's fucking horrendous.
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It is not that hard, and definitely not impressive to have a child that can hook up an N64. It's like 3 cables, 2 button presses and the flip of a switch. Not prodigy level stuff there. They told me that it was prodigy level stuff, and that made me into an arrogant kid. Being arrogant made life harder, so I should not have been told that I was super smart. Because I'm not. Thank God I finally know that and can just keep to my cocktail recipes and video games and dick jokes.
It was nice to have someone who could hook things up and be able to talk with customer service when things broke. Nice for my family, not nice for me as I was that person. Customer service reps do not want to talk to a child. Especially not a little shit who has been told that he is a technological genius because he learned how to reset the Wi-fi.
My father is an experienced, life long residential electrician. My mother has a Master's degree. How was it that I had to fix every electronic and piece of technology across my entire adolescence? Those are the resumes of two pretty smart people. My dad is good with his hands and my mom could obviously read. So why did all the repairs always fall on me? Because it was something that they were unfamiliar with. My dad can barely type 10 wpm and my mother went through all of college without ever using a computer. So technology scared them. Like the first cave man that was killed via stoning for his mastery of fire. I was the one who mastered the VCR.
Well it was good that they gave me that to do. I did enjoy fixing our family tech and it gave me a sense of approval and capability. Even though sometimes there was unfair blaming and insistence that I call customer service again even though I had no clue what to do next, and the agents refused to speak with a child. But that prepared me for the unfairness of life. Where all you have are two groups of ignorant, unrelated people yelling at you to do something when you've already done all that you can do. There is always some bullshitter that just believes "intuitively" I suppose that there is more that can be done. No matter how hard you try, there will always be more shit to do for some asshole.
I learned a lot by always being Mr. Fix it for my family. But I never learned how much is the right amount of bleach to use when cleaning the fucking bathroom. I must've used 200% of what's needed because my entire apartment stinks of it and I might pass out soon. It's fucking horrendous.
Click here if you want to check out my Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPywZOYDSrzlPgQnsuMxDXg?view_as=subscriber
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