Shot Glass Thought: How to Pig Out on Macaroni

My preferred steps are thus: buy a large box of macaroni at the store. Store the macaroni away until bad news is received. Sometimes this can happen right away or it may take a few days but there will be bad news. Put the noodles in boiling water until they feel edible. Don't be a dumbfuck about this step or you'll burn yourself. Now strain the water out of the noodles. Put the noodles back in the pan that you boiled them in. Drop the strange glob of room temperature, never expiring cheese into the pan and stir it until it's macaroni. Next, remember the bad news and forget your diet and health aspirations and eat all of the macaroni in one sitting. Have an unhealthy drink like a soda and a cookie-based dessert for maximum depression.