1. Vicious memes blamed for death of 5 minutes of free time.
2. Cat doctors making great leaps in treating cocky mouse syndrome.
3. Local residents of Bridgewater, NJ are upset that a former Wal-Mart site is being converted into a medical marijuana dispensary. The locals were hoping that the site would finish what Wal-Mart started and become a 24 hour meth den.
4. In further news that knowing will not benefit you whatsoever, President Trump was acquitted on impeachment charges. This comes as a surprise to nobody and meant nothing from start to finish. Which just goes to prove what I've always believed, fuck the government.
5. Media heads flew after covering the reincarnation of Genghis Khan and his Mongol hoard.
6. Doctors recommend less marijuana for those with high functioning anxiety, saying that without weed, their condition will be cured.
7. Plucky upstart social media company specializes in introducing people who are interested in apple orchards.
No comments:
Post a Comment